South Park Misadventures
by Shoz999
Summary: South Park Misadventures is a variety of stories about South Park. It's not just about one topic or genre, but a variety of them. I made this because I keep on seeing stories that focus on one thing, like romance or horror.
1. Randy's New Friend and Terrorist

"Hey guys!" shouted Eric as he walks to his friends, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny. "Guess what!"

"What is it fat ass?" Kyle asked.

"How many times do I have to say this. I'm not fat, I'm big bone!"

"Didn't your mother already told you that you're a fatty and then you went to fat camp? Anyway what did you wanted tell us?"

"Oh yeah." said Eric. "I just bought the new game called Hippie Shooter 6. This game is much different from the other Hippie Shooter games. The difference is that you have the ability kick them in the balls and rip their face off."

"Awesome. Let's go to my house and play the game." Stan said.

"Finally a game where you can defeat those messed-up no good hippies... and kick them in the balls." Cartman grinned in a evil manner as he walks to Stan's house.

Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Eric finally arrived at his house. They all entered the house and Stan ran to the TV set to turned on his Okama Game Sphere. The boys started enjoying the game, Hippie Shooter 6.

"Hah. I won." shouted Eric. "You are losers, losers, losers, aaaaaaand... losers."  
"Shut up porky." Kyle shouted. "You just won, because you kept on pausing the game and distract us from the TV screen."

"I did not!" shouted Eric.

"Yes you did!" Kenny muffled.

"WAIT!" shouted Eric. "I know how we can settle this. All we need to do is to kick each other in the balls. The last one standing decides the outcome of this argument."

"Okay. Then let's all kick Eric." said Stan.

"Wait!" shouted Eric.

"What is it now?" said Kyle.

"If you're going to kick me in the balls, can I at least kick Kyle in the balls?" asked Eric.

"KICK HIM IN THE BALLS!" shouted Kyle.

Kyle, Stan, and Kenny started to kick the crap out of Eric.

"Ow.. Owww. Wait.. Ow... Fu.. ck... y... ou... g...uys" Eric said

"Just forget it." said Stan. "This is already boring. Let's go outside, and play some football."

Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and an injured Eric stepped out of Stan's house. They step to the sidewalk and saw a house on the other side of the street that used to be for sale. A house that was bought.

"Hey. Someone bought the huge house over there." Stan said.

"Let's check it out." Kyle said

The friends who walked to the new house, except for Eric who was standing there thinking about who is more evil. A hippie or a Jew? "HEY!" shouted Eric. The boys walked to the new neighbors, to see a man in a blue jacket. Not only that, they also saw Stan's father, Randy Marsh.

"What's your dad doing here?" asked Kyle.

"How the heck would I know?" Stan said.

"Probably jacking off with his wiener." Eric suggested.

"No he wouldn't... I think." Stan said. "Hey dad. What are you doing here?"

"Hi Stan." said Randy as he turned around to see his son. "I'm just talking to my new boss, Mack Tyrant."

"Aren't you the only scientist in this town?" asked Stan.

"Mack here, is going to bring more scientist here." Randy answered. "Not just geologist, but different kinds of scientists. Anyway meet Mack Tyrant."

"Hi Mr. Tyrant."

"Hi there Stan." said Mack. "Your dad already has a promotion. He is now a boss to most of the scientist that will work in my new company."

"What is your company anyway?" Stan asked.

"It's a company of nuclear... I mean research of many problems that exist in human lives." Mack said.

"I'm sure, you just said nuclear." Kyle said.

"Well I didn't. Just go back to breaking glass, drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes, or whatever the heck you children do at this time of the year?"

"Riiiiight." Stan said sarcastically.

The next day in morning. Stan woked up and stepped out of his bed. He walked out of his room and to the living room. Then he walked to the door until his mom came.

"Stan. Your father forgot his suitcase." said Sharon. "Can you give it to him? He works at the new company built by the Mall."

"Fine, I'll give him the suitcase with stickers of Power Puff Girls on it." Stan said.

"What?" Sharon asked.

Sharon gave Stan the suitcase as he walks out of the house. As he walked on the sidewalk, Stan saw Kyle, Kenny, and Eric chatting about Terrance and Phillip.

"Where are you going with the suit case?" Kyle asked to Stan. "And why does that suitcase have Power Puff girls on it?"

"I'm going to the place where my dad works." said Stan. "And my dad is a fan of Power Puff girls, Teletubbies, Care Bears, and Blues Clue."

"Dude, your dad is freaking sissy."

"Yeah." Stan said

"Anyway, I'll follow you. I heard the company offers free snacks." said Kyle.

The boys went together to the company in the town of South Park. Later as they kept on walking, the boys found the building beside the Mall. It was 10 stories high and they entered the glass door of the building and saw different kinds of scientists.

"Oh my god." Eric said angrily. "There are too many hippies here."

"Hey, where are the snacks?" asked Kyle.

"Never mind about that." Stan said. "I need to give this suit case to my dad."

"Where is your dad anyway?" Kyle asked.

"I think he said he was on the 4rth floor yesterday at dinner?" Stan said.

The boys saw the elevator at the other side of the room. They went to the elevator and Kenny pressed the 4F button that caused the elevator to rise to the 4th floor. The elevator opened revealing a hallway. They all stepped out of the elevator and walked through the hallway to find Randy's office. Finally, they found the room called, "RANDY'S OFFICE" with Teletubbies stickers.

"Here's his room." Stan said. The boys opened the door to find Randy with five other scientists.

"Hi Stan." said Randy.

"Here's your suitcase." Stan said.

"I thought I lost my suitcase."

"Yeah, anyway I'll be going now."

"Wait! Where are the snacks? I haven't ate any breakfast?" Kyle asked.  
"I don't know. I'll ask my boss." Randy said. "Follow me."

The boys and Randy walked out of the office to the hallway. They went to a different room in the same hallway, that said "Mack Tyrant's office". The room was bigger and vast than Randy's office. In the room, there was Mack Tyrant talking to people who look like terrorists from Afghanistan.

"Hi Randy." Mack said as he turned around in surprised.

"Hi Mack, anyway do you know where the snacks are?" Randy asked. "One of my son's friends wants some snacks."

"Oh sure. They are on the first floor in the kitchen, on the left." said Mack.

"Oh shit! We were just on the first floor." said Kyle as he starved in the room.

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot." Mack said.

"What is it?" asked Randy.

"Can all of you turn around for a minute. Oh and wear these ear muffs."

"Okay, but I don't see why."

"If you do, I will buy you a new golden watch."

Randy and the boys wore the ear muffs on their ears and turned around quickly.

"Why would he want us to wear earmuffs and turn around?" Stan thought.

Mack picked up an remote and pressed a certain button. Suddenly a huge TV screen appeared showing different kinds of people.

"Hello governors of California, Virginia, Arizona, Illinois, Maine, and Texas." said Mack.

"You again." said Bob McDonell.

"What do you want now, Russian?" Rick Perry asked.

"I want 20 million dollars delivered at Colorado, Denver, at the biggest and oldest abandon mall in the north." said Mack.

"What if we refuse." Jan Brewer asked.

"Then I will blow up everything precious to you Americans." Mack answered. "I'll be starting with all of your precious beer companies."

"You wouldn't dare." Arnold Schwarzenegger said.

Mack picked up another remote and pressed a blue button. Suddenly a large sound appeared out of nowhere. The sound of different kinds of missiles that launched and went into the sky. Some of the governors heard explosions at faraway beer companies in a second.

"You bastard." yelled Pat Quinn.

"It will be worst, because I will send a nuclear missile that will shot at the heart of New York City. And after that it would be the precious 'FOX' company." said Mack. "I'm giving you two days."

"You won't get away with this." said John Baldacci.

Mack turned off the screen and the TV disappeared by the touch of one button. He turned around to see one of the boys that saw everything, Stan.

"What the hell was that?" Stan asked.

"That was just some business with other companies. By the way, you want a chocolate bar." said Mack

"Did you just say nuclear missiles." said Stan.

"No, I said Nuclear Bunnies. Everyone loves bunnies." said Mack.

"I'm calling the police."

"You think the police will believe a kid that will say a nice guy that has nuclear missiles kept in here. Anyway the rest of you can take off the ear muffs and turn around."

The rest of the boys and Randy took off their ear muffs and they left the office except for Randy. "Randy." Mack said to Randy.

"What is it sir?" Randy asked.

"Tomorrow, I'm promoting you to be the manager of this whole building." said Mack.

"Wow. That seems too much, but aren't you suppose to control this building?"

"I still control this building, but I also control projects that are separated from this company too. I need managers to control each buildings from different states while I control my projects."

"I see... So... Um... Hey, you want to go to a bar."

"Sure. Bosses like me need a break once in a lifetime. In fact I might as well go get drunk. "

The Next Day. Randy walked into his new office that was big and vast. Inside the office was a desk, computer, and a flat plasma screen TV.

"Gee. The new office is huge. I'm gonna need some coffee if I'm gonna work in a big place like this." Randy said.

Randy walked into the kitchen to find different kinds of food products. He wanted to searched for coffee powder, but there was no coffee powder. He kept on searching in other places of the kitchen, but there was nothing.

"How can I work without coffee?" Randy said. "Maybe Mack knows where it is. Where is he anyway? He did said his project is going to be made here." Randy stepped outside of the kitchen so he could find one of Mack's employees. As Randy kept looking he finally saw one of Mack's employees. "Hey you. Do you know where Mack is? I need to talk to him." Randy asked.

"I think he is in the B1F" The employee answered.

"Thanks." Randy left the employee and went to the elevator.

Randy stepped into the elevator as the doors open and pressed the B1F button. The elevator began to lower to the B1F. The elevator then stopped and the door opened. Randy stepped out of the elevator and saw a rocky tunnel. "This is a strange place to work on a project." Randy said as walks into the tunnel. Randy later saw two soldiers with machine guns guarding a metal door.

"This must be his other office." Randy thought as he passes through the guards as if they didn't know he was there. He enter the metal door as it automatically opens and saw a even more huge room. In fact it was a huge cave.

Randy saw soldiers, weapons, and many destructive things.

"What a nice office." Randy said. Randy spotted Mack near a control system. Randy went to the control system to ask Mack for some coffee sugar. "Hey Mack." Randy asked.

"What is it?" Mack asked as he pressed different kinds of buttons on the control system.

"This is a pretty cool office. Kind of think of it, that plastic missile in the middle of this office looks almost real." Randy said. "Anyway, do you know where the coffee sugar is?" Randy asked.

"I'm kind of busy. Here, have my coffee sugar." Mack said. Mack pulled packs of coffee sugar out of his pockets. "Anyway I have to deal with the government, now."

"Oh, don't start with the government." Randy said angrily. "Almost every government have bribes, and lie to people. They also do a lot of unnecessary things. Like, one time, they send my son to Peru because they thought he was some kind of Peruvian band."

"Your right. The government is trying to stop me from finishing my project." Mack said. "Anyway, someone in this room is a spy."

"Really? Well then I'll find him."

"Sir!" shouted one of the soldiers. "We found the spy"

The spy was in the hands of two soldiers who was trying to struggle out.

"Good." Mack said.

Just then, the spy kicked into the soldiers balls on the left.

"Ow." shouted one of the Soldier as he covers his balls and dropped to the ground.

"You idiots. Capture him." Mack shouted.

Randy saw the spy running to the metal door. He had to stop him. He jumped from the control system all the way to push the spy on to the ground.

"Thanks Randy. You're going to get a raise this week." Mack said. "Anyway, will deal with the spy for now."

"Okay." Randy said as Randy walked out of the huge cave and went to his office. Mean while Mack and the other soldiers killed the spy with their machine guns.

At night. Stan was at home eating dinner with his family.

" Guess what happen to me today." Randy asked.

"What is it?" Sharon asked happily.

"I just got a raise for stopping a spy."

"A spy?" Stan asked.

"Yes. He was from the bastard government." Randy answered. "The government tried to stopped Mack from working on his project. Some governments back in the past didn't even care about freedom."

"Could his project involve with nuclear warfare?" Stan asked.

"That's silly." Randy said. "Why would he ever have any nuclear weapons."

"I saw Mack talking to the governors of different states about threatening them by using nuclear weapons." Stan said. "He might be a terrorist."

"It must be your imagination, Stan."

"No it wasn't. Why would the government send a spy to stop Mack."

"The government is annoying and always do unnecessary things."

"You know, forget it. You never listen to me." Stan said.

Stan got off of his chair and went to his room.

"You know I think you need some more father to son time, Randy." said Sharon. "You keep hanging out with this Mr. Tyrant guy."  
"You may be right." Randy said. "I'll cancel my plans tonight with Mack."

"He had plans?" Sharon said. "How come you never have plans with me most of the time?"

"I have friends!" shouted Randy, in an angrily voice, as he got up from his chair and slammed the table with his own bare hands.

Meanwhile in Stan's room. Stan was on the phone to call Kyle.  
"Hey Kyle." Stan said.

"What is it?" Kyle asked

"Gather all of our friends to my house."

"Why?"

"This is important."

The boys and their friends were gathered at the basement of Stan's house.

"What's this al..al..al..all about anyway?" Jimmy asked.

"We are going to reveal who Mack, my dad's boss, really is." Stan said.

"We came here for this?" Token said.

"He's really nice." Craig said.

"TIMMY!... TIMMY!" said Timmy.

"That's what he wants you to think." Stan said. "I found out that he is a Russian terrorist who controls nuclear warfare. I want all of us to prove that he is a terrorist rather than the perfect gentlemen to our parents and other adults."

"I don't believe you." Clyde said.

"I'll give you each 5 bucks." Stan said.

"Deal!" Bill said.

"Good! This is how we're going to do it. There's a B1F in the building where my dad works. We will enter the building with my dad. He's probably going to take us to his office. After that we walk out of their and sneak into the elevator. We will use the elevator to go to B1F. Then, we will step out of the elevator and we will take pictures of the nuclear weapons. Finally, we will show it to the people and my dad. This plan will reveal who the nice Mack to a bastard terrorist."

"How do you know all this information?" Kyle asked.

"My dad was drunk last night after hanging out with Mack. Anyway, we will begin tomorrow."

The next day at Stan's house. Stan ran to his dad

"Hey dad. Can me and my friends go to the company you work at together?" Stan asked.

"Umm... sure." Randy said. "Just gather your... " Randy opened the door and found Stan's friend outside of the house. "What do you know. There already here. I wonder why they have cameras?"

"Nothing." Kyle answered.

"Okay." Randy said sarcastically. "I'll just go to work with all of your friends, Stan."

Later, Stan and his friends were at the huge company building, at Randy's office.

"Man, your dad ha..ha..ha... has an huge office." said Jimmy.

Randy stepped out of his chair from his office. "Stan."

"Yes." asked Stan.

"Do you think my job is okay?" Randy asked.

"Yes, but you never..."

"Never what?"

"You never told me how a dick strangely become big."

"THAT'S JUST DISGUSTING." Randy shouted. "Plus you have to be a little more older and mature to understand that." Randy stepped out of his office for some coffee sugar. "At least they finally have coffee sugar in the kitchen." thought Randy as he went downstairs.

"Okay, let's take some pictures." said Stan. "Come on everyone."

The group of boys walked out of Stan's dad office and to the elevator. Kenny pressed the B1F button that caused the elevator to lower to the tunnels. The elevator stopped and open the doors to reveal a rocky tunnel.

"So this is B1F" Craig said.

"Come on. Let's find the metal door." Stan said.

The group walked through the tunnel and found the metal door, but no guards.

"Strange. My drunken dad said there would be guards here?" Stan said "Oh well."

The group of boys enter the metal door to find a huge cave, but also a battle within it. There were soldiers fighting soldiers.

"What the hell is going on here?" Kyle said.

"You were right, Stan." Clyde said. "There really are nuclear weapons." Clyde pointed at the nuclear missile in the middle of the cave.

"Oh my god.. AH-!-... There's Mack Tyrant." Tweek said.

"Quick take pictures." Stan shouted.

"You mean in the middle of a battle field." Kyle shouted.

"Hey look theirs your dad!" shouted Token.

Randy walked through the battle field without even noticing what's going on. He went to the control system to meet Mack.

"Nice show you have here Mack. It almost looks real." Randy said.

"I'm kind of busy here." Mack said as he quickly presses different buttons. "Do you want more coffee sugar?"

"No. My family wants me to spend more family time rather than work or friends." Randy said. "What should I do?"  
"Family is always first." shouted Mack. "After all I have a family in Russia."

"Thanks for the advice Mack." Randy said. "Maybe we can have dinner with your family sometime."

"Maybe. In fact, I actually don't like America, but you are my first friend that's American."

"Really? Well anyway, I guess I'll have some father to son time with Stan." Randy walked through the battle field and to the metal door without even noticing the dangers of the battle.

"Dude." Stan said. "Maybe we shouldn't show that Mack is a terrorist."

"WHAT!" shouted Eric. "Terrorist are against America."

"Yeah, but my dad is friends with a terrorist. He doesn't even know that he is a terrorist."

"Uh... Fine." said Eric. "I'm going to get rid of hippie's anyway today. I don't have much time for Terrorists."

Mack pressed a red button that launches the nuclear missile and jumped from the control system to the battlefield carrying a huge vulcan.

"Take this American Government." Mack said as he shoots down his enemies. He suddenly acted insane in a happy manner, and shot down his own troops on purpose.

"Dude. I think we should get out of here." shouted Stan. "That Mr. Tyrant just shot down his own troops."

The next day at Stan's house. Stan and his friends wanted to watch "The Terrace and Philipp show", but it was interrupted by the TV news.

"Hello everyone. We have just been reported that a Russian man named Mack Tyrant has just bomb the heart of New York city by using a nuclear missiles." said the Anchor man. "Luckily there was a malfunction that saved most of New...

"No one gives a crap." Eric said.

"Yeah, change the channel." Stan said.


	2. Yellow Spotted Lizards

This story is a spoof of Holes

* * *

"It was a shining new day, the leaves were spreading everywhere, the wind flow, flowers were blooming, a building was on fire... wait a minute a building is on fire !" The Narrator said.

The four boys were standing next to a bunch of firemen and policemen.

"Okay, we will never try to fart flaming gas by using a lighter." Stan said. "Agreed?"

"Agreed." said the rest of the boys.

"You boys are in big trouble for burning up the coffee store." The policemen said.

"It wasn't our fault." Eric said. "IT WAS ALL THIS LAME DAMN LIGHTER'S FAULT." Eric yelled.

"Say that to the judge."

The boys were at court and the judge is thinking of what their punishment should be.  
"Okay." The judge said. "You boys have burnt a building. I am sending you all to a juvenile camp called Camp Sparkle Lake. Any last words?"

"Yes Sir." Eric said. "IT WAS ALL THIS LAME DAMN LIGHTER"S FAULT. Thank you." Eric yelled at such a high voice.

The boys were on a yellow colored bus driving on a road in the middle of a desert, in Texas.

"You know guys, this kind of reminds of the book "Holes". Eric said.

"You can read?" Kyle said, in a shocking state.

"No, but my phonic's monkey can."

"Oh, well than that explains your stupidity."

"Yeah... HEY-!- I'm not stupid you Jew."

"Why are you racist, for peek sake?" Stan asked.

"I'm not racist, I'm just big bone." Eric answered.

"Dude, were not even talking about your weight." Kyle shouted.

"Well... um... your just a bunch of... douche bags."

"Whatever dude."

"Will all of you SHUTUP!" The bus driver said.

"Why don't you shut up you son of a bitch." Stan whispered.

"What did you say?"

"I said my mutt lives in a ditch."

"Oh."

The bus arrived at Camp Sparkle Lake and stopped in front of an house. The boys stepped out of the office and saw different kinds of boys in the camp. A man stepped out of the house. He was fat, but tough and had a mustache and wore some glasses.

"Hello kiddies." said The Man. "My name is Mr. Man. and you will address me as such."

"Okay Such." Eric said with laughter along with the other boys.

"That's a good one." Stan said.

"Fun times over little boys." Mr. Man. "As long as you're in here, all you do will be work, work, and more work."

"What kind of work?" Stan asked.

"You're going to dig holes, just like those other boys. If you find something the Warden might like you can have a vacation for two days."

"Two days for just one week and a whole months of work?" Eric said. "At school we get a whole month of work and two days each week. This is a rip-off I say."

"Just follow me."

The boys and Mr. Man all went to another wooden house under the hot yellow sun. Mr. Man pulled out some old dusty clothes in orange from the shelves.

"Here wear these."

"Okay, but do we have to change here in front of you are do we change somewhere else?" Stan asked.

"If you really do need privacy, then I'll wait outside." Mr. Man said as he walked outside of the wooden house and closed the door.

"This place sucks." Kyle said as he begins changing his clothes.

"I know I hate you guys very much, but I'm agreeing on this one." Eric said.

"Well we can't escape. This place is in the middle of a desert." Stan said.

"There's probably Cobra's, and Scorpions." Kenny muffled.

"We might as well dig hole to get out."

The boys finished changing their clothes and went outside.

"How long did it took you?" Mr. Man asked.

"Hey, this place is in a really hot desert. You can't expect children to work even more easily at these conditions." Stan said

"Whatever, anyway come and meet you counselor, therapist, doctor, or whatever you want to call him, Mr. Padro."

"Hello kids." Mr. Padro said. "I know you just want to run around in the green field, instead of digging holes every day, but I'm here to help all your problems."

"Really?" Kyle said. "Well you can start with Eric's huge ass."

The boys laughed except for Eric.

"Enough with the fat jokes, guys." Eric yelled

Mr. Man and Mr. Padro were laughing along as well.

"You too. I thought you adults were more mature than that."

"Sorry, I haven't laugh so long." Mr. Man said.

"I can see why." Eric whispered.

"Anyway, follow me." Mr. Padro said.

The boys followed Mr. Padro to see a row of tents. They each had letters.

"Okay boys. Your tent is D."

"Are you sure tent D, counselor. I kind of like tent B better, because the tent's color is blue. A lot of people like blue." Eric said.

"Fine, Tent B."

"What about Tent A, it's bigger." Kyle said.

"Nope, I kind of like Tent G because it has more pillows." Stan said.

"What about Tent D?" Kenny muffled. "It has all those things you just said, plus I notice Tent O has a lot of small scorpions."

The boys were agreeing with Kenny.

"Hey counselor. Can we have Tent D?" Stan asked.

"Okay, again."

Later, Mr. Padro was showing the boys where the showers, cafeteria, community center, supply shot, and a gym with a basketball court beside it.

"This place is a garbage dump." Eric said.

"Well it isn't." Mr. Padro said. The boys were all looking at him. "Maybe just a little." Mr. Padro confessed. Mr. Padro handed each of the boys a shovel.

"I better get going. I've have an appointment with some bad boys."

A few more boys came to see the four boys in the desert. They were at the same age as them and were African Americans.

"Hey, who are you newbie's." said one boy.

"Were new here in this dump." Stan said.

"This is just like Holes." Eric said. "I bet next, were going to dig holes are something, just like in the book."

"What's wrong with him?" said a boy.

"He has a wrench for a brain." Kyle said. The boys including the African American were laughing except for Cartman.

"Anyway, this here's our turf." said a boy.

"My name is X-Ray and these people are Armpit, Zig-Zag, Squid, and Magnet." X-Ray said.

"Are these your nicknames?" Stan said. "Mr. Padro told me your real names were Rex, Theodore, Ricky, Alan, Jose."

Theodore pushed Stan to the ground.

"Hey! What did you do that for?"

"We don't like it when people call us by our real names." X-Ray said. "Do that again, and you're in a world of hurt."

X-Ray and his gang left with shovels and went to the community center.

"This is really similar to the Holes novel." Eric said. "Each of those guys have the same nickname and name of the guys in the book. I wonder if will get attacked by Yellow Spotted Lizards."

"You can stop talking about the novel." Kyle said. "We all read the novel and we know there is no such thing as a Yellow Spotted Lizard."

"How do you know?" Eric asked.

"Because we just did a project about it the last three months."

"I still don't believe that." Eric said. "We are in a place that is really similar to the setting of Holes. There are people who have the same nicknames and there's a lake that has no water."

Eric was pointed at the empty lake in the desert.

"It was just a coincidence, Eric." Stan said as he got up from the ground.

"This is just too similar and if it isn't, there must be a yellow spotted lizard."

"Why are you even arguing about a book?" Kyle asked.

"How the heck would I know?"

"Let's make a bet." Eric said to Kyle. "Since we don't have any cash, then we will bet that in the next seven days I will prove that a yellow spotted lizard is real, than you have to eat my underwear."

"If you lose, than you'll have to eat Mr. Man's underwear." Kyle said.

"Deal... wait, what did you say?" Eric said.

"You have to eat Mr. Man's underwear."

"What about your underwear?"

"Eric, his underwear is always clean, unlike you which you never clean." Stan said.

"Fine." Eric said.

Three Days Later

"I'm digging a hole, I'm digging a hole, deep in the ground." Eric sang as he made holes.

"Will you just shut up already!" Kyle said.

"You know what we should do?" Eric said.

"What" Stan said as he digging a hole.

"We should takeover this whole camp. I mean think about it. There's only Mr. Man, Mr. Padro, and The Warden."

"You know, that's not a bad idea." Armpit said.

"I'm with him." Zig-Zag said.

The rest of the boys in the camp, except for Kyle, Stan, and Kenny, agreed with Cartman.

"I don't think you should agree with fatso over there." Stan said.

"He will get you in big trouble just like he did to us in the past days." Kenny muffled.

"If we takeover this camp, we can get out of here." X-Ray said.

"But..." Kyle said until someone else interrupted him.

"Do you want to listen to a bunch of nine-year olds, or do you want to listen to a intelligent mind of greatness." Eric said.

"Cartman, your also nine-year old."

"I don't care if he's nine, I'm going with this kid." Squid said.

The other boys of the camp started gathered around Cartman, while the three boys started digging holes.

"We shouldn't be a part of this." Kyle said. "Every time we tried to get back at him, it backfires."

"We should at least warned the ones who work here." Stan said.

"Will do it after all of this hole digging."

Cartman and his whole group of bad boys were at the community center planning to take over the whole camp.

He just needed Zig-Zag, Armpit, X-Ray, and Squid. The rest just needs to distract Mr. Man, and Mr. Padro.

"You got the plan." Eric said to the rest of the group

"Yes, Eric." X-Ray answered

Meanwhile the boys were walking at night in the camp alone.

"We should go to our tents." Stan said.

"Yeah, but..." Kyle said.

"Stand still boys." Mr. Man said as he came out of nowhere.

"Why?" Kenny muffled.

"A yellow-spotted lizard is behind you."

"This crapped again." Kyle said moving in the same spot. "I had enough about these rumor of these stupid lizards. There not real! Come on guys let's just go to our tent."

The boys each took one step, until they heard a hiss sound. They turned around to see a Yellow-Spotted Lizard.

"Oh shit." Stan said.

"Told ya." Mr. Man said as he pulled his gun.

The lizard saw the gun and ran toward the boys. Mr. Man tried to shoot the lizard, but the it already attacked Kenny first. It bite him through the skin causing Kenny to fall to the ground dead.

"Oh my god. You killed Kenny!" Stan said.

"You bastard!" Kyle said.

"You do realize the lizard attacks more than once?" Mr. Man said.

The boys ran away from the lizard until "BANG!". The lizard died of one bullet.

"That was a close one." Stan said.

"We will note the blonde kids parents that he's dead." Mr. Man said. "Come on boys, help me put the body in one of the funeral boxes."

"You have funeral boxes?"

"Duh, there's been an extreme population of Yellow-Spotted Lizard's in this area."

"Oh yeah, Kyle. Cartman won the bet."

"Not unless he doesn't find out." Kyle said.

"I won't tell Cartman about this." Stan said.

One Day Later.

Mr. Padro and Mr. Man was distracted by a bunch of boys from the camp. Cartman's plan was put into effect. Now was to get to the wardens office.

"Okay, do you have the video tape?" Eric asked.

"Yes." Zig-Zag said.

Eric opened the Warden's door and saw no Warden in the hallway or the four rooms linked to the hallway.

"Okay, Armpit, Squid, Zig-Zag, X-Ray set some stink bombs in the rooms and then get out. I will do the rest." Eric said to the group

"Okay, but I really don't see how this will let us take over the camp." Zig-Zag said.

"Don't worry just do it." Eric said as he goes through the hallway to the fifth room at the end. He entered it and found the Warden sleeping. She's was blonde and a female, who has sunglasses on her eyes.

"Hey, Warden." Eric yelled.

"Huh, What are you doing here?" The Warden yawned.

"I'm going to take over this camp." Eric said with a smile.

"Yeah right."

"If you don't believe me, I have placed explosives in four rooms. My allies thought they were Stink Bombs, but they are actually C4's that I got from the Chinese Mafia. Even if you do survive, I have this videotape of you with Bill Clinton in bed during his presidency."

"I'll do it because of the videotape, but what's the point of the C4's."

"I just like explosives and guns."

"I can see that, you have a gun pointing straight at my face."

Eric looked to see a gun in his hand.

"I didn't know that. I guess I like weapons way too much. Anyway the deal." Eric said in surprise.

The warden handed Cartman a contract of the job and she left the building. Cartman went to his allies and said one thing.

"We won the rights of the camp my fellow Americans." Eric yelled out loud.

"Oh shit." Kyle and Stan said at the same time as he sees Cartman through a crowd of happy African Americans.

"First, I want Kyle dead and thrown into a hole filled with Yellow-Spotted Lizards and I guess Stan too since he is the Jews best friend." Eric said. "After that all of you can be free, just like I promised."

The bad boys surrounded Kyle and Stan and grab carried them. The crowd later surrounded a hole filled with Yellow-Spotted Lizards.

"What the hell?" Kyle said.

"I told you that there are Yellow-Spotted Lizards, Kyle." Eric said. "Now throw them in the hole!"

Kyle and Stan was thrown in the hole by the Africans, but they stood still. The lizards haven't attacked yet as Kyle and Stan haven't moved yet. Eric was throwing rocks at the lizards, but they haven't moved still.

"Oh boys." Sharon said out of nowhere as she stepped out of the car with Randy and another man.

"What are you doing here?" Eric said.

"We've got a better lawyer than Gerald." Randy said. "He'll break Stan, and his friends out of here in no time. By the way, where are they?"

"What are you doing boys?" Sharon asked until she looked what was in the hole. She saw his son and his best friend standing still with yellow-spotted lizards.

"Hey look it's your Mom." Kyle said.

"Hi Mom." Stan said ignoring the lizards.

"What's going on here!" Randy said. "Quick, throw a bunch of mice in the hole."

"Mice?" Stan said.

The lawyer threw a bunch of living mice in the whole, and suddenly the lizards backed away from the mice.

"What the hell?" Stan said.

Randy pulled both Stan and Kyle out of the hole.

"What just happened to the Lizards?" Kyle asked.

"Lizards greatest enemies are mice. They happened to be scared of them for no reason." Randy answered. "Anyway, come boys. We need to free you from this bizarre wasteland."

"What about us." said a Bad Boy.

"Oh yeah, your all free to go." Cartman yelled.

One Day later.

Stan, Kyle, and Eric walked out of the South Park Court to see fresh morning light.

"Man, I'm glad I was out of there."Stan said.

"Me too." Kyle said.

"What do you want to do now?"

"Let's make a play about Call of Duty, except this time will have real guns." Cartman said.

"Where are you going to get some guns?" Stan asked.

"I know a guy in China. A bunch of guys."


	3. War and Horror

It was January, and a 10-year old Jewish boy woked up from his bedroom. He yawned and looked out of the window and saw more snow than when it normally snowed in South Park. It was big and he saw children, teenagers, adults playing in the snow. Since he saw children in the snow, this could mean only one thing. No school on Friday! Kyle ran down the stairs and to the dining room to see the TV on the table with his parents. It told which schools had no school.

"First, we have South Park..." The Anchorman said.

"Yes!" Kyle said excitedly.

"...East Elementary School."

"Dang it.

"Then South Park..."

"Come on. Come on."

"...Private Elementary School."

"Hurry up."

"And finally South Park..."

Kyle was smiling until the Anchor Man said, "Advance Elementary school."

"Advance Elementary?" Kyle said.

"Well that's all. Any schools that I didn't mention, well then it's bad news for you. You got to go to school. In fact the only school that's open is South Park Elementary school. The normal one."

Kyle banged his head on the table.

"Why God? Why?" Kyle said as he still bangs on his head on the table.

"At least I get a break from work and my kids." Gerald thought in his head.

"You won't get a break when I come back." Kyle said.

"What!" Gerald said. "How did you.. what the."

Gerald ran up stairs as he thought how did Kyle did that.

Kyle, Stan, Eric, and Kenny were standing on their normal Bus Stop. Each of them were angered because they had school, and the others didn't.

"Why does South Park Elementary has school and the others doesn't?" Eric said angrily. "I bet this can't get any worse."

"Just be quiet Cartman. Let's just get this over with." Stan said angrily

The school bus came and they all entered the bus.

The four boys stepped out of the bus and walked to school on the snowy sidewalk. The boys saw kids from other schools playing with snow. This made them jealous, yet they just kept on walking to the school and tried to ignore it. As they enter the school they went straight to their classroom and took their seats. In the classroom they didn't saw Mr. Garrison. Instead they saw a different man in the school.

"Hello kids. My name is ..." The man in the room said.

"Mr. Hyuk." Kyle said.

"Of course?" Mr. Hyuk said in surprised as he looked at the Jewish kid.

"Where's Mr. Garrison?" Stan asked.

"All the teachers, including your counselor, principle, and even the janitor is sick."

Meanwhile at Aspen.

The teachers, principle, counselor, and janitor were having a party at a huge building. Some were even drunk and kissing a pillow.

Later at the school

"The only adults here are the substitute teachers, gym teacher, and the robot chef."

"Robot chef?" Kyle asked.

"The new chef that your school hired was fired. They decided to have a robot do all the work."

"This teacher seems boring." Stan whispered.

"I know, just look at what he wears."

"Hey! What did you do before you teached?" Clyde asked.

"I was a soldier. Why?" Mr. Hyuk says as he wrote the word, "Ultranationalists" on the chalk board

"How could such a boring guy like him hold a gun." Eric thought.

"Were you in any wars?" Kyle asked.

"I was in Vietnam, Pacific Gulf War, and I was at Cuba trying to... I mean never mind." Mr. Hyuk said.

"Cuba?" Craig said. "You just said Cuba. I don't think that had any wars, beside World Wars that affected that country."

"Just ignored what I said."

"This is getting interesting, guys." Eric said.

It was lunchtime and The boys were hanging at the lunch table with the other boys.

"Why do you think he said Cuba?" Jimmy asked.

"I got a book of things that happened in Cuba during Mr. Hyuk times." Kyle said. "There is Bay of Pigs Invasion, Cuba having a dictator..."

"What's that?" Stan said.

"That says Cuban Missile Crisis. This was during the Cold War and it was between the U.S., Soviet Union, and Cuba. The Soviet Union builded huge nuclear missiles and bases in Cuba secretly, but was later founded out by the U.S. The U.S. also had missile that could destroy the whole Soviet Union, but they both reached to an peaceful agreement."

"Go U.S." Kenny muffled.

"Hey do you think this has to do with anything?" Eric said.

"Let's go find out."

Kyle, Stan, Eric, Kenny, Jimmy, Craig, Tweek, and Clyde slowly entered the classroom and saw no Teacher.

"The ghost is clear."

The boys began looking through everything. They kept looking through the desk, his bag, the shelves, but nothing was found.

"Let's just forget about it." Kyle said. "We looked everywhere."

"I guess so, but what do you want to do now?"

The teacher walked into the classroom and saw the kids.

"What are you doing here?" Mr. Hyuk asked.

"Were cleaning this messy classroom of yours." Eric lied.

"Really? This classroom was clean when I left."

Mr. Hyuk left the classroom. Later, School was over and Stan, Kyle, Eric, Kenny and the rest of the 4th graders walked through the hallway, thinking of what Mr. Hyuk was hiding.

"Well school's over. I hope there still enough snow to make a snow ball fight." Eric said until he opened the door to see a whole lot of snow in front of the building. Heavy snow that piled up the whole school.

"NO! WHY GOD WHY!" Stan yelled at the ceiling.

"Hey! We could still make snow balls from the heavy snow of the entrance." Eric said as he makes a snowball and throws it at Kyle.

"You do realize were stuck in school until the snow melts?" Kyle said angrily.

"Well... My god."

All of the children, including the 6th graders, Kindergarteners, everyone in the building was cold and scared.

"What are we going to do?" Kyle said.

"We could try dig ourselves out of here." Eric said.

"The snow's too deep." Mr. Hyuk said. "Will have to try to survive for now."

"I'm hungry." Eric said.

"Your just hungry because... Oh, I'm starting to get hungry too." Kyle said.

Suddenly, most of the children were getting hungry and went to the cafeteria.

"When's that robot chef finished?" Stan said.

"The robot chef can't cook everyone of your meals that fast." Mr. Hyuk said. "I could keep you control if one of my Bla... Oh forget it."

"What?" Kenny Muffled.

"Nothing." Mr. Hyuk said.

A substitute teacher were passing meals from robot chef.

"Here you are kids." The only female substitute teacher said.

"It's about time." Eric said as he munches on his food. Suddenly the other kids started gobbling all of their food fast.

"You know, I wish the original Chef was here." Stan said. "He could do it faster than that robot."

"Chef?" Mr. Hyuk said. "He used to be in the army, I mean never mind."

"You just said he was once in the army." Kenny muffled.

"Well..."

"Will you just reveal your fucken secret already!" Eric yelled.

"We are under all of this snow and the government can't hear us. I guess I should tell you my secret." Mr. Hyuk said. "After all of those wars I was in, a person asked me and some of my friends to come and join the Black Ops. You probably heard of it. Not alot people know what they do because of how secret are they. It was made up of me, Chef, Mitch Connor, and some other guys.

"Mitch Connor?" Eric said.

"Yeah, why?"

"He's a friend of mine's"

"Mitch Connor again?" Kyle said. "He's just a hand, how the heck can he fight."

"He fought with me during the Vietnam War." Mr. Hyuk said. "Well anyway, we were suppose to take down the missiles by shutting them down. But the U.S. and the Soviet Union already made an agreement and I left the Black Ops along with Chef, and Mitch Connors."

"Mitch Connors was once here in South Park and left, and as for Chef... you probably don't want to know what happened to him." Eric said.

"Anyway we should tried to survive this place."

Meanwhile at Stan's house. Many parents were there arguing about the huge blizzard.

"What should we do, Gerald." Sheila asked.

"Randy, do you have any ideas." Sharon asked.

"Enough!" Randy yelled. "We don't know where our boys are, but I have an idea. I saw this commercial of this device called a snow plow. It's strong enough to take down this heavy snow. Now all we have to do is borrow some snowplow's from Mr. Black and attach it on the front of our car."

"Wait! I don't have a snowplow." Mr. Black said.

"Every rich guy has one in there basement just go get it."

1 hour later

"What do you know, I have some snow plows." Mr. Black said.

"Good!" Randy said. "Each of our cars can hold up to 5-6 adults. We each team up and put these snowplows on the front of our cars. Then we search."

Different Fathers started to team up with other fathers. They later received a snowplow and went to their car. Randy Marsh was teamed up with Gerald Broflovskis, Stuart McCormick, Stephen Stotch, Richard Tweak, and Thomas Tucker. They all went to Randy Marsh's car and attached the snow plow to his car. Randy activated his car and drove through the heavy snow.

"Don't worry boys, will get you out."

Meanwhile, the Boys were getting bored in the school, except for Stan who was now with Wendy.

"Where's Stan?" Kyle said.

"Forget about it." Eric said. "Maybe we should have a party!"

"Nah, we don't have enough food, decorations, hat, or anything for a party."

"How about pulling a prank?"

"That seems fun." Kenny muffled.

"You are not pulling a prank in this cafeteria!" The Gym teacher yelled.

"I'm tired of this." Eric said. "I'm taking over this school."

"And maybe, kill the Jew if I have some time." Eric thought.

"I heard that!" Kyle said.

"Heard what?" Eric said.

"You said that you wanted to kill me."

"No I didn't!"

"Kyle, he didn't say that. It's probably just in your head." Kenny muffled.

"Fellow 4th graders, I'm tired of being push by these adults. We will take over this school." Eric said as he stood up on the top of the table.

Most of the kids were agreeing with him... again.

"First, we will capture all the adults and put them in the closet."

The kids of the school started surrounded the adults, including Mr. Hyuk, and carried them by force towards the closets. They then threw them in the closet and locked the door.

"My first order of business is that all of you kids can do whatever you want."

Suddenly the kids started making a mess all over the school. Kyle was walking through the hallway until he heard some noise. He walked and walked until he reached to the empty janitor's closet. The noise was coming from there and he opened the door. He saw Stan and Wendy kissing. He thought it was disgusting to see his best friend to do that.

"Can you close the door, Kyle." Stan said. "This time I didn't puke and I can finally kiss her."

Kyle closed the door and found out the noise was coming from there this time. Kyle wanted to know where the noise was coming from so he walked on the hallway a little more longer. He then saw a guinea pig in a plastic ball.

"It's just you, Mr. Guinea." Kyle said until he heard the noise again. "Dam it! Where's that noise coming from."

He walked even further and saw a boy with a knife, but with a mask on his head.

"There's a kid here. Hey Cartman we have a kid holding a knife here."

Kyle turned around and saw nothing. He was sure someone was there.

"What?" Cartman ran with some other kids.

"There was a spooky kid here." Kyle said.

"Where?" Cartman asked.

"He was just right there. He was holding a knife and a mask."

"If you find him, just capture him. Oh and be careful."

"Why?."

"I've been starting to see strange things in this school."

"Like what?"

"I just saw two twins holding arms together. Then I suddenly saw them killed."

"It's probably just in your head."

Meanwhile, Randy and the rest of the Fathers were in the car drunk after too much beer. As they kept plowing they saw a man with scars and a crack all over his face.

"Hey look, Britney suddenly has a new look." Randy said.

"Why can't she just stay the same?" Richard Tweek said.

"Good day, Gentlemen." The scary man said.

"Good day to you Britney. I hate your new look." Gerald said from the window.

"You're not even scared?" The Scary man said.

"I've seen worst." Thomas Tucker said.

Meanwhile. Kenny walked through the hallway hearing strange noises. He later enters a class room that is full of skeletons looking at him. Kenny wasn't scared, but instead he took the head from one of the skeletons. He thought it would scare some of the girls.

"Hey! Put my head back!" The skeleton said.

"What if I don't!" Kenny muffled.

The skeleton pulled out a gun.

"Okay, Okay." Kenny muffled as he puts the head back and leaves the room.

"I wonder why he isn't scared that easily?"

"It must be all those movies, video games, and books." another skeleton said.

Stan and Wendy pressed the button of the elevator, so they can go to the second floor. As the door opens, blood spills out everywhere from the elevator.

"Strange." Stan said. "Doesn't this usually happens on the second floor?"

Butters walked through the hallway and saw a bunch of people holding different weapons. Butters didn't look scared but instead he was happy.

"I seen all of you people!" Butters said. "Your all the murderers in my favorite slasher films. Your Jason, Freddy, Leatherface, Pinhead, Chucky, Michael Myers, and Ghostface."

Butters suddenly hugged the murderers. The murderers suddenly looked at each other in confusion.

"Kid! What the hell are you doing?" Freddy asked.

"I'm your biggest fan."

"We have fans?" Jason said.

"Of course you do? Your movies are famous all over the world in the horror genre."

"How come we haven't been told about this?" Leatherface said.

"Let's get a lawyer and sue who's ever in charge of our movies." Michael Myers said.

They later left and disappeared into thin air.

"Wait, can I have your autograph?" Butters said in disappointment.

Meanwhile.

Randy and his friends were still looking for the school. It was hard to look because of all this snow in the way.

"We should try to look for some directions."

Randy already saw a group of people.

"Hey!"

"What is it?" One of the group of people said.

"Oh my god!" Richard Tweek said.

"I've seen you people. You're in those slasher films." Stephen Stotch said.

"So, what were you going to ask?" Ghost face said.

"We were wandering where the school was. Do you know where it is?" Randy asked.

"Your almost there, just go straight." Chucky said.

"Thanks. Oh by the way, can I have your autograph?"

"Sure." Jason said.

"Can you sign it on my wedding picture?" Randy said.

Jason was signing his signature on the picture.

"Thanks." Randy said.

Randy drove further to the snow.

Meanwhile.

Stan was awkwardly acting a little crazy.

"Stan, is there something wrong?" Wendy asked.

"I just haven't got anything to drink and eat." Stan answered.

"I saw you ate lunch."

"Actually I was pretending along with the other guys. We had to spit out the disgusting junk under the table."

"I'm going to see if I can find some food. Stay here Wendy."

Later. Kyle saw some adults freed from the closet. They spotted the Jew in the hallway.

"I'm going to hit every kid, starting with that one." The Gym teacher thought.

"What? I can't allow you to hit anyone?" Kyle said.

"What? How did you know?"

Mr. Hyuk walked through the crowd of adults and went to Kyle.

"Kyle, I've been seeing strange things before." Mr. Hyuk said. "But I think you have the ability to read minds. I think it's called the Shining or something like that."

"Why is it called the Shining?"

"I read in the book called, Stephen King's Guide to Horror. Anyway You want to be careful too. The fat kid and your best friend might try to kill you."

"I know Cartman, but why Stan."

"I heard rumors that this school was built on an Indian Burial Ground." Mr. Hyuk said. "If you need help just call me through your Shining ability, Okay? After all I was a Black Ops member."

"Yeah, yeah."

Meanwhile, Butters was walking through the hallway and heard a scream from a boy. He looked and saw Eric on the floor.

"What's wrong Eric?" Butters said.

"Were out of food!" Eric said

"I'm starving."

"Well you might lose some weight. That's the good part."

"Just shut up. Jesus, I wish Chef was right here. He'd know what to do."

Later, Stan was looking for some food for him and Wendy. Wendy was waiting in the hallway. He later went to the kitchen and saw no children. They were all looking for the escaped adults.

"More food for me!" Stan said.

"Oh no you don't!" Eric said as he came popped from the tables.

"Where's the food Stan?" Eric asked.

"It's..."

Stan and Eric saw Chef at the kitchen.

"CHEF!" Stan and Eric yelled in surprised and joy.

"Give us some food. Were starving." Eric said.

"Hold up! I can't give you any food yet, until you do something for me."

"What is it!" Stan asked.

"Stan you have to kill Wendy, Kyle, Butters, and Kenny. Eric you also have to do the same thing except Wendy, since you both hate each other."

"WHAT!" Stan said. "I can't do that!"

"Do you want food or not!" Chef said as he disappears into thin air.

Wendy was still waiting in the hallway until she heard noises. She decided to go find out what was it. It was from the biggest main room in the school. This is where they voted for the new mascot of the school. Anyway, Wendy saw a typewriter and looked at it.

It said, "I feel good".

"I wonder who typed this?" Wendy thought.

Stan came out of nowhere with an evil smile and messy hair.

"Hi Stan." Wendy said.

Stan just came closer and closer.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm just want to fix that look of yours, Wendy." Stan said as he picks up the type writer as a weapon..

Wendy backed up slowly until Stan dropped the typewriter on his foot.

"Ow! Not again."

Suddenly Wendy picked up a bat from the floor and hit Stan on the head. He collapsed to the ground.

Kyle saw Kenny walking through the hallway.

"Hey! Kenny." Kyle said.

"Hello!" Kenny muffled until suddenly Cartman appeared out of nowhere with an axe. He chopped Kenny into two.

"Oh my god. You killed Kenny. You bastard." Kyle said.

"Doesn't usually Stan do that part?" Eric asked.

"Yeah, but if he's not here I guess I should do his lines."

"I see, but time to kill the Jew." Eric said.

Kyle ran through the hallway as Eric chases him and suddenly he crashed into Butters.

"Ow! Butters!" Kyle yelled. "Can't you see I'm running from a fat psycho."

"I'm not fat! I'm just big bone." Eric said as he chases Kyle and Butters with an Axe.

"Hurry!" Kyle said.

Wendy dragged Stan's body to his locker and put him there. She locked the locker.

"Stay there until you don't act insane again." Wendy said.

Suddenly she saw Kyle and Butters.

"Good, I think we lost him." Kyle said.

"What are you doing guys?" Wendy said.

"Were running away from the fat psycho." Kyle answered.

"Really? I just put Stan in the locker because he was acting crazy. Anyway, what are we going to do?"

"Hmm. I got an idea, I will use my shining powers to contact Mr. Hyuk. He'll save us. Right now, let's hide to the 4th grade classroom."

Kyle ran to the 4th grade classroom and started using his shining powers.

"Mr. Hyuk, Mr. Hyuk!"

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Mr. Hyuk heard a voice in his head.

"Who's this?" Mr. Hyuk thought.

"This is Kyle. Eric has gone mad." Kyle thought

"I told ya."

"Can you help us?"

"Sure. I can handle anything. After all I was from the Black...

"WILL JUST HURRY UP!"

Kyle stopped using his shining abilities. Meanwhile Mr. Hyuk was running through the hallway and saying, "Hey fatty." all over and over again.

Cartman appeared out of nowhere and hit him with an axe. He took the axe out of his back, but he was still strong and alive.

"You think one axe could take me down. I was from the Black Ops." Mr. Hyuk.

Eric Cartman later decapitated him with another axe just to shut him up about the Black Ops.

"I'm still alive here." Mr. Hyuk's head said. "You forgot that I've have a working brain."

Eric Cartman than cut his head into two.

"Military Veterans can be so annoying sometimes." Eric said to himself.

Eric was latered in front of the door and broke it down with an axe.

"Here's Eric." Eric said crazily, but he didn't see his friends. Instead he saw dogs playing poker.

Eric tried again on the next door.

"Eric is in the house." Eric said crazily, but he just saw his Grandpa.

"How did I get in here?" Eric's Grandpa said.

"Dang it." Eric said.

Eric tried the next one more time.

"Are you in this room?" Eric said normally as he saw Kyle, Butters, and Wendy.

The three normal kids ran through the door as Eric ran slowly through the middle of the classroom.

Stan finally got out of the locker and saw his three friends running through the hallway.

"There you are!" Stan said crazily. He also saw Eric chasing them. "There mine, fatty."

Kyle, Butters, and Wendy were at the end of the main room of the school. They tried to opened the doors, but there was still heavy snow.

"This is the end of the line." Eric said.

Suddenly a bright light came on the other side of the main door. A car crashed through the doors of the main room. It was their parents.

"You should have let me drive the car next time!" Gerald said.

"Dad!" Kyle yelled.

"We made it didn't we?" Randy said to Gerald.

The dads stepped out of the car, and suddenly more children came to the main room.

"Hi Kids, more of your parents will come." Randy yelled.

It was morning and the heavy snow was gone, and the teachers and principle came. The school was a mess.

"Hey!" The principle said. "Who left room 237 opened? That has to be closed forever or strange things will appear." The Principle said.

Suddenly all the awkward things were gone.

Meanwhile at Paramount studios.

"Okay, if you just sign here we will recognize you as one of us and you will payed for the previous films that were made." a man in a suit said.

"Good!" Freddy and his gang said.

Suddenly they were disappearing.

"Wait, wait, not now!" Jason yelled

"That was a close one. We could gone to bankruptcy or been sued for all of those films made." The man in the suit said.


	4. South Park Mafia

Butters woke up at his bed on a fresh sunny morning and smiled.

"Boy, it's a beautiful morning." Butters said as he dressed up in his usual clothes every day. He went down stairs and ate a bowl of cereal in the kitchen. As he ate the bowl of cereal, he notices the clock in the kitchen. He was late.

"Oh god." Butters said as he ran outside and grabs his back bag, but on the table of the kitchen, he forgot his homework. Butters kept on running until he saw the bus at the bus stop.

"Wait! Wait!" He kept on saying, but the bus left and it was raining.

Butters had to ran all the way to school, wet and soggy. He finally made it there, but as he entered the school, a bunch of 6th graders saw him.

"Watcha doing blonde boy?" A brown haired 6th grader said.

"I'm just going to school like always. Except on Saturday and Sunday."

"Whatever nerd. We're going to beat the crap out of you." Another 6th Grader said as he hold his fist tight.

"Not again." Butters thought.

Butters ran into the 4th grade classroom as a beaten up kid with gum in his hair. The kids saw him, but not surprised as this always happens to him.

"Dang Butters. Whoever done that to you must be angry, or probably just for fun." Stan said.

"There you are Butters. Your an hour late." Mr. Garrison said.

"What!" Butters said in surprised.

"You're going to have to go to the school office."

"Oh hamburgers."

After the time in the school office Butters walked into the hallway again. He saw the same group of 6th graders before as he was walking on the floor of the hallway.

"Hello blonde boy." The brown haired 6th grader said.

"Umm... Hi." Butters said.

"Because I'm in a good mood today, I'm going to do this."

3 min. later.

Butters was locked into his locker until someone heard a noise. It was Kyle, Stan, and Kenny.

"Dude, someone is in the locker." Kyle said.

"Can somebody help me?" Butters asked.

"Butters? Is that you?" Stan asked.

"Yes. Can you just get me out?"

"Sure."

Butters told the guys his locker combination. Stan opened the locker door and Butters was free with a black eye.

"Thanks fellas." Butters said.

"Whatever." Stan, Kyle, and Kenny said to Butters.

Eric Cartman came along in the hallway and asked Butters something.

"Hey, Butters." Eric said.

"When is this bad day going to end?" Butters asked himself.

"Say the letter Y."

"Y."

"Then say, can't"

"Can't."

"Now what is Mr. Mackey's last name?"

"Mackey."

"What's the color of the sky?"

"Blue."

"What's the opposite of down?"

"Up."

"Now say it all together."

"Why can't Mr. Mackey Blew up?" Butters said as Mr. Mackey came along with the two boys.

"What did you say?" Mr. Mackey asked.

"I said, 'Why can't Mr. Mackey'... Oh." Butters said.

"Just for that, you're not going to the field trip to the Museum of Guns. Instead, you're going to stay in detention."

"What?" Butters said. "Oh Biscuits."

Eric Cartman walked away from Butters and Mr. Mackey as the fat kid laughed away to the 4th grade room.

Meanwhile in detention.

"Butters." Mr. Mackey said.

"You're supposed to hand your homework to Mr. Garrison?"

"Oh yeah." Butters said as he picked up his backpack. He looked through his stuff, but no homework.

"I must've left it at my house." Butters thought.

"Is there a problem?" Mr. Mackey asked.

"Yes. I lost my homework at home." Butters answered.

"Fine, then you get an F. I don't even need permission from your teacher to give you an F."

Butters walked home on the sidewalk in the rain again on a bad day. Suddenly a dog appeared out of nowhere and ripped the sleeves of his shirt.

"Oh, eggrolls." Butters said in sorrow.

As Butters walked on the sidewalk he saw a professor who needs help with an advance hi-tech cannon.

"Hey kid!" the man yelled. "Can you help me with this cannon. Every time I press the switch it's not working."

"Sure." Butters said as he walked inside the cannon.

"I think I see the problem." Butters said as he crawls into the cannon. "There's these two wires. Maybe if I connect them together they will..."

The cannon started operating as Butters connected the wires. Suddenly Butters was shot out from the cannon.

"Thanks kid." The man yelled.

"!" Butters yelled into the sky.

Butters landed into an abandoned building. It had many signs around it that said, "KEEP OUT."

"How could this get any worse."

Suddenly a bunch of men with guns were pointing at him.

Meanwhile at Butters house.

Stephen Stotch and Linda Stotch were walking around and around.

"Where could he be for Pete sake?" Linda said.

"Butters better come home right now. Psychopath murderers could have already taken him to the woods if it's already too late. He might have already ripped out Butters intestines and use it for..." Stephen said insanely and looked at Linda. She freeze for a moment after hearing what Stephen said. "Maybe we should called the police."

Meanwhile at the abandoned building.

"What do you guys want?" Butters said in fear.

"You already found out our secret hideout, little boy." A man said as he walks through the group of his men. The man looked a little fat, but looked strong, and he wore a suit with a tie. He also had black hair. "We have no choice to kill you, unless you can help us."

"Like what?" Butters asked.

"You can start by making some drinks for our boys here." The man said. "This abandon building may look old and dirty on the outside, but in the inside we have a bar, a table for poker, some lights, a pool table, and some other things that makes a building look great in the inside."

"Wow." Butters said as he walks to the bar. "Anyway what kind of drink do you want?"

"How about some Japanese beer or wine. Like... Sake or something." The scary man asked.

"I don't know how to make beer." Butters said.

"Do it, or will kill you."

"Okay! Okay!"

Butters read the Alcoholic book of Sake ingredients. He picked up the ingredients and started mixing them together creating Sake. He handed it to the scary man and took a sip.

"Not bad. Make some Bock for one of my men."

Butters started mixing more ingredients to another alcoholic beverage. He gave it to one of his men who also took a sip.

"Well?" The scary man asked to one of his men.

"It's great. Very delicious. The kid is great."

"Aw jeez. No one never said that to me. Not even my parents." Butters said in happiness.

"You can live. Kind of think of it... Do you want a job here?" The scary man said.

"I guess. I do need some cash for this new game I want. It's called Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2." Butters said

"Good. Call me Big Joe." Big Joe said.

"Okay Big Joe. By the way, what kind of thing are you running here? I mean you have guns, suits, your hanging out in an abandon building, and you have that bag that just moved a minute ago."

The bag behind them moved. Big Joe's men shot the bag with their guns which caused blood to ooze out a bit.

"Ignore that kid. Will pay you ten bucks a week. Oh, and don't tell anyone about where we hang out, or any of these places." Big Joe said as he pulls a map of South Park.

The map showed there hideouts which is the abandoned building, a restaurant, an underground shop, a strange bar, and somebody's home in a apartment.

"Okay, I promise." Butters said.

"By the way, since you're one of us you have to wear your uniform."

"So do I receive an apron, or just some stinking hat?"

"Better, you get to wear a fancy suit." Big Joe said as he pulls out a fancy blue suit.

"Cool."

Meanwhile at the Stotch's house.

"It's getting late. I'm going to get a flash lights." Stephen said.

Suddenly Butters opened the door seeing his dad and mother worried. They saw him at the door and his mother was happy and scared at the same time, but his dad was angry and said, "Butters your late, where have you been?"

"I got a job." Butters answered.

"A job?" Linda said. "What is it?"

"Just helping around by making drinks, cleaning tables, and other things. I get payed ten bucks a week."

"Well that's nice."

"A job huh." Stephen said as he calms down. "You have a lot of responsibilities, but your still grounded."

"Yeah yeah. I knew you were going to say that." Butters said calmly as he goes to his bedroom.

"Strange." Stephen said. "Usually when I say that, he's stressed out or sad. He's more calmed this time."

The next day at school.

Butters was walking in the hallway with his fancy suit. The 6th Graders spotted him at his locker and walked to the blonde boy.

"Well if isn't Blonde boy." The brown haired 6th grader said. "This time I'm going to punch you in the chin and then tie you to a flag pole with garbage stuffed down your throat."

"Silent Bob, Arms." Butters yelled.

"Who you calling? More of your friends to be tied to the flag pole." Another 6th grader said.

Two older men in suits came to Butters.

"What is it Butters?" Arms asked.

"Are these guys bothering you?" Silent Bob asked. "If they are, then will put a bullet in the throat."

"Who are these. Your body guards." The brown haired 6th grader said.

"Bob and Arms. You know what to do." Butters said.

Outside of the school, the 6th graders were tied to the top of the flag pole and stuffed with bugs and dog crap in their mouth.

"I would've put a bullet in there throat. I don't see why bugs or dog crap would work." Silent Bob said.

Later in the 4th grade room.

Butters came in the room late again.

"Butters your late. Go to the office."

Arms came into the classroom along with Silent Bob and gave him a note.

The note said," Butters had a terrible incident. He was beaten sensibly by wild Ewoks and then he was tortured by the Legion of Doom. Sincerely Doc. the Doctor."

"Butters!" Mr. Garrison said. "I can't believe these evil Ewoks did this to you. Come on in Butters. Forget about the school office."

Butters went to his seat as everyone was looking at him. His guards were behind him watching anything that might harm him.

"Anyway, does anyone know what the Civil War was fought for?" Mr. Garrison asked.

Silent Bob whispered the answer to Butters ears.

"Hey! That's cheating." Mr. Garrison said.

Arms threw 2OO$ on the desk.

"Did I say cheating? Never mind. So Butters what is the answer?"

"The Civil War was fought for preserving the Union and later slavery."

"Very good Butters. You get an A."

"Lucky." Eric Cartman said jealously.

Clyde pen suddenly dropped near Butters desk. Clyde went to pick it up until Arms pulled a gun on him.

"Drop the pen or I'll blow your brains out." Arms yelled.

"Dude, you can't have a gun at school." Stan yelled.

"I already talked to the principle about that."

Mr. Mackey walked into the Principal's office and saw her laying in a sack of money and boxes of cigarettes.

"Uh.. What are you doing?" Mr. Mackey asked.

Later at the hallway.

Butters walked through the hallway with his two bodyguards. The kids just looked at the body guards with their guns.

Eric was in the hallway and held a slingshot and a rock in his hand and attempted to shoot Butters. He hold the slingshot tightly and let it go. The rock manage to hit Butters right in the face.

"Ow!" Butters said.

"What the hell! Someone's trying to kill the blond kid." Arms yelled as he and Silent Bob pulled out there guns and was shooting everywhere. The children screamed and ran away. Suddenly a Janitor came and pulled a Machine gun out of a bucket and started shooting.

"Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here." Stan said as he watches the fight with his friends.

It was a gun war between two body guards and a janitor.

At night, Butters opened the main door of his house and entered. He saw his dad playing poker with Randy, Gerald, and Stuart.

"Hi Butters. What's up." Stephen asked.

"It was great. I had an great adventure at school today. Not only that I got revenge on those 6th grade bastards."

"Yeah well... did you just say Bastard!" Stephen said in surprise.

"Yeah why?"

"You should never use that word."

"Really, because my boss said it's okay to use the word fuck, shit, bitch, and..."

"Butters just don't say those words." Stephen said. "Since this is your first day on the job, I won't ground you, but if you use it again then..."

"Yeah, I know. I'll get grounded. Anyway, I'm going to see if all the guns in my room are okay."

"Yeah you go do that." Stephen said. Suddenly all the people playing poker burst out the word, "GUNS!"

All of the men ran up to the stairs and saw Butters laying down on his bed playing a video game, but surrounded by boxes of guns.

"Butters! Have you been playing with these guns?" Stephen asked madly.

"Nope. My boss's warehouse is getting full. He needs a new place to hide these."

"Well, I don't believe one second of this." Stephen said.

"Hey kid." Silent Bob came. "We need to get these guns back into the warehouse. We found more space."

"Okay." Butters said.

Stephen was surprised.

"Butters. I will never doubt you again."

"Uh, Steph." Randy said. "Maybe we should check who the boy works for."

"Maybe it is a good idea." Stephen said.

"I'll see if my boss is okay with that." Butters said as he heard there conversation and picked up an expensive cell phone.

"Butters! Where have you got that cell phone! Your too young to have one." Stephen yelled out loud.

"My boss said I should have one for communication." Butter said.

"Oh, I guess that's okay then."

Meanwhile, at the restaurant hideout.

"I was wrong about you." Randy said as he plays poker with Big Joe and the other fathers. "Your actually a nice guy."

"Yes I am." Big Joe said. "Maybe me and my wife can have dinner with you someday."

"By the way, what's with all the suits, guns, and that huge bag over there." Gerald said as he looks at a bag moving.

"Dang it. This guy is still not dead." Arms said as he shot him again. "Stay dead."

"Dead?" Stephen said.

"Ignore that, would you like some classic home-made beer."

"Sure, we would all like some." Stuart said.

The next day at night.

Randy was passing out plates, forks, and spoons.

"Randy, what are you doing?" Sharon said.

"Were having dinner with another family." Randy said.

"Oh good. I just baked a huge turkey in the oven. Anyway, who are we having dinner with?"

"Were having dinner with the Martins." Randy said.

Sharon stood in shock.

"Martin is supposed to be French for Mars or something."

"Randy!" Sharon yelled. "Do you even know who they are?"

"Yeah. They told me there an owner of a restaurant. Why?"

"There not some owner of a restaurant. It's Big Joe. He's the crime boss of the South Park Mafia!"

"Whatever. All of you women always say there new friend is a Russian terrorist. Now, they say it's some Mafia Crime boss." Randy laughed.

Sharon and Randy heard a door bell ringed. Randy went to the door and opened it revealing Big Joe and his wife. His wife had black hair and looked normal like any person in South Park.

"Hi Joe. This is my wife, Sharon." Randy said with a smile. Sharon just stood there and freeze.

"Hi. This is my wife, Alexis." Big Joe said.

"Hello." Alexis said.

"Anyway let's sit down, chat, and eat." Randy said. Stan and Shelly came down the stairs and to the table in fancy clothing.

"I didn't know you have kids at this dinner." Big Joe said.

"Why?"

"I could've brought my son and daughter to this dinner."

"We could still have a fun dinner." Randy said as he and the others sat down at his chair.

"Um... yes." Sharon said oddly as she sat down.

"What's wrong with her?" Big Joe asked.

"She's been complaining that your some Mafia Crime boss, but I didn't believe her one sec."

"Oh. I see." Big Joe said. "Well. Some people say I am, while others never even heard of me. There usually children."

"Are you a mafia crime boss?" Stan asked.

"Well... Hey, do I smell turkey." Big Joe said.

"Hey, did you answered my question?" Stan yelled.

"Well, if I was one, would it be wrong to steal some clothes and some food for a poor, starving family that has no money to afford clothes or even shelter."

"No. It's not wrong at all." Stan said. "So, technically, committing a crime isn't always bad."

"Yes." Big Joes said. "That's why you have hideouts, secret ware houses, and people who lie all the time. Mafia crime boss like me should always... I mean, scratch that last part I said."

"Isn't he great at jokes." Randy said. "Even though that wasn't funny."

"Dad! I think he is a boss of a mafia." Stan yelled.

"Whatever." Randy said.

"Sometimes my parents can be stupid all the time." Stan thought.

The next day.

Butters was at home watching the news. It showed Police Officer Yates on TV.

"Officer!" A news reporter said. "There has been rumors that a large supply of rum has been stolen. Is this true?"

"Yes. We suspect that mafia crime boss Big Joe is behind this." Yates said. "We have no proof, so we can't arrest him yet."

Butters turned off the TV and was surprised at the same time.

"Is my boss a criminal?" Butters thought as he opened the door and went outside.

Meanwhile at the restaurant hideout.

Butters entered the room and saw his boss chatting with other men.

"There you are kid. We have a present for you."

"A present? Really!" Butters said. "Oh by the way... are you a leader of a criminal gang?"

"Uh... Well, let's say you had a sick wife." Big Joe said. "Later you want medicine that can cure her illness, but you don't have the money. The only solution is to steal. Do you think stealing is wrong?"

"I guess not." Butters said.

"Good. Here's your gift."

Butters opened the gift and saw a new pistol in the box.

"A pistol? I can't have one of these."

"Don't worry. We'll take care of it if some policemen comes." Silent Bob said.

"You guys are great. I never did receive a gift from anyone, but my parents." Butters said with a smile.

"Your now part of the South Park Mafia." Big Joe said.

The next day.

Butters was walking in the hallway smiling with a gun in his pocket and with no body guards. The teachers, janitors, and principle couldn't do anything about it. This is because the South Park Mafia is the most feared criminal organizations in the town. Eric Cartman was also in the hall. He decided to pull another prank on him.

"Is it just me or does Butters have a gun?" Kyle said as he watches him.

"Where are his body guards?" Kenny muffled.

"What's Eric doing?" Stan said.

Eric acted strange because he filled Mr. Mackey's whole room with cigarettes and putted boxes of cigarettes in Butters locker, just for fun.

"AHH!" a scream came out of nowhere.

"That must be Mr. Mackey right now." Eric said.

Everyone ran, including Butters and Eric to the scene. Mr. Mackey was under a pile of cigarettes.

"Who did this?" Mr. Mackey said as he got out of the pile.

"It was Butters." Eric said. "Just go check his locker."

Mr. Mackey opened Butters locker to see a dozen of cigarette boxes.

"Butters!" Mr. Mackey said. "I notice your behavior is changing, that your allowed to have a gun, and that your apart of this criminal organization, but smoking is bad because it's bad. You have detention."

"Hah!" Eric said.

After school at the restaurant hideout. There was a birthday party with Big Joe's ungrateful Grandpa.

"Where the hell is my drink!" The old man yelled.

"Our bar boy will be here. Just wait a little." Big Joe worriedly said.

"Where is he?" Big Joe thought.

"That's it! I'm leaving this stinking joint. Your still my most worst child." Joe's Grandpa said as he left the restaurant.

Big Joe burst in anger as he saw his angry grandpa left the restaurant.

"Why doesn't he like me?" Big Joe said.

Butters entered the Mafia Restaurant hideout in anger.

"Your late kid! I told you to come in early! What happened!" Big Joe yelled in anger.

"I'm in a bad mood. This fat bastard made me got detention." Butters yelled at Big Joe.

"What? Who is this guy? Is he bothering you?"

"His name is Eric Cartman. He's fat, age nine, wears a red coat, has a blue hat, and a spoiled, foul mouth, selfish, cold-spirited, no-caring asshole!" Butters yelled in a mad voice.

"Whoa! Whoever did this to you, must be putting other kids into trouble also." Arms said.

"Don't worry kid. Will have give this kid a _'permanent vacation_'." Big Joe said as he and his men stepped out of the restaurant. Butters pulled out a can of Mountain Dew and tried to stop the anger flowing in him.

Meanwhile at Cartman's house.

Eric Cartman was alone playing "World of War Craft" on his computer.

"Eric." Liane Cartman said as she opened the door.

"What is it?" Eric said as he finished playing his game.

"Some men wanted to see you. They say you have an appointment with them."

"I don't have an appointment."

Liane Cartman left the room and the gang members of the South Park mafia entered.

"Who the hell are you people?" Eric said.

"We happen to be friends with Butters."

"So?"

The gang members walked toward the boy pulling out knives, guns, a bag, and some rope.

"AHH!" Eric screamed out loud from the house.

The next day.

Butters was in his 4th grade class room. He noticed that Eric is missing.

"Hey where's Eric?" Stan said.

"He probably pulling another one of his schemes." Kyle said.

Mr. Garrison came in.

"I have some very sad news. Your classmate, Eric Cartman, disappeared last night."

Suddenly the whole children was happy and said, "Hurray!" except for Butters.

"Hey! This is supposed to be a sad moment. Not a... Then again, he did crapped on my desk last week." Mr. Garrison said. "Never mind what I said. I'm happy too that he's gone."

Butters thought that the South Park Mafia might have been behind this. After school, Butters ran to the restaurant hideout as fast as he can. As he enters the hideout, he saw the mafia members playing poker.

"Is it true?" Butters said tiredly.

"What's true?" Arms asked.

"Did you killed Eric?"

"You mean the Eric from Europe. That guy was a squealer back in the days." Silent Bob said.

"No! I mean Eric Cartman." Butters yelled.

"You thought we killed him?" Big Joe said with laughter. "We actually just sent him..."

"Freeze!" Police Officer Yates said as he burst through the door.

"What is it officer?" Big Joe said calmly.

"You and your men are under arrest for the murder of Eric Cartman."

Police men came everywhere and arrest Big Joe's men.

The next day at court.

It was a case between Big Joe and Eric's Mother. Liane Cartman wanted Big Joe arrested because of the murder of her child. Liane's lawyer was Kyle's dad and Big Joe's lawyer was himself, because he once went to lawyer school. The case started and it went on and on. It was long and boring, but later it was now over.

One of the people of the jury had said this, "We find Big Joe, Butters, and anyone in the South Park mafia guilty."

"Fine." The Judge said. "I sentence you to twenty years of..."

"Wait!" A child said as he opened the door. It was Eric Cartman, the fat kid.

"Eric!" Butters said. "I thought you were dead."

"No I wasn't." Eric said. "Actually this is what happened."

(Flash Back)

The mafia pulled out guns, knives, a bag, and some rope.

"What are you going to do with that?" Eric said in fear.

"This?" Big Joe. "We just do this to look scary in conversations, but these guns are actually loaded. Anyway we want to talk about the trouble you had with Butters."

"Yeah?" Eric said.

(Flash Back Ended.)

"You see, I and the mafia were having a long chat over Butters, because of his Grandpa's birthday party. The deal was that I will stop bothering Butters and in return, tickets to Florida and Disney land, but there useless now." Eric said. "But why was I missing and why am I already here? It's because when I was throwing out the garbage I fell into the trash can and the garbage truck was already here. Then, it picked the trash can up and into the truck and then I ended up at Denver. It took me a while to get back to South Park."

Later, outside of the court room. Butters walked down the stairs and saw Big Joe.

"Hey Joe!" Butters said.

"Yes Butters?" Big Joe said.

"I don't want this job anymore. I mean, I'm working for a bunch of mobsters."

"I see. Well I guess I'll have to find another guy for the job." Big Joe said.

"Whatever happened to the last bar boy, or Bartender?"

"He died of a '_natural accident_'." Big Joe said as he left with his men to a limousine.

"Hey Butters!" Kyle said as he and his friends ran to him.

"I guess your back to being a puny dimwit now." Stan said.

"Yeah, I guess so." Butters said.

"Well that's great!" Eric said. "Now go get me and my friends some ice cream you gay wad."

"Fine." Butters said and left in sorrow.

"You know, I can't believe you actually save Butters and the rest of the South Park Mafia." Kyle said to Eric. "I guess you do have some good in you."

"Yeah." Eric said. "It actually feels good."

"Oh Eric." Liane said. "I bought that video game you wanted."

"Cool, Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2!"

"Wait? Why did you bought him a video game?" Kyle asked.

"This is his third good deed. He deserves it." Liane answered.

"Cartman! You just did it for a videogame!" Kyle yelled at Eric.

"Dude, It's Modern Warfare 2." Eric said.

"He has good point there." Stan said.


	5. Revenge at South Park

2 Years in the Past.

A seven-year old Stan Marsh walked on the streets at nighttime with his parents. There were going to see Terrance and Phillip on stage at South Park field. As Stan Marsh sang and walked with his parents, he bumped into someone. It was a guy with brown hair and wore a jacket.

"Hey I know you. Your one of the actors in the Terrance and Philip Show." Randy said. "What's your name... Tom was it?"

"Yes. Yes. I'm mostly noticed by always getting wacked in the head by cars, rocks, and other painful devices. It's a painful job in the show business."

"I thought you would be happy on that show. It's starting to be really popular all of a sudden." Sharon said to Tom.

"Don't you get it!" Tom yelled. "I'm always the one to get hurt on that show, while Terrance and Phillip fart all the time and relax. At least I get payed a lot for being funny too. Well, bye. I need to hurry up and perform on stage... and get hit by a piano this time."

Tom walked away and the Marshes went to a shortcut to the fields where the stage is and a crowd of parents with their children. The Marshes entered the crowd and tried to get to the front of the crowd.

"Okay Stan, now... Where's Stan, Randy?" Sharon asked.

"I thought he was with you." Randy said.

"But... Let's just calmed down and look for him."

"Right."

Stan's parents were looking everywhere in the crowd to find there boy, but he was nowhere to be found. The show started and Terrance and Phillip appeared. They were doing their usual fart jokes. Later, Tom came up on the stage and a piano felled down on him by Terrance.

"Geez Tom. I think your piano is broken. You should fix that." Terrance said.

"Yes..." Tom said painfully.

Behind the stage, Stan wondered around and saw a door that is opened. He entered and saw a backroom with a bunch of objects for Tom to get hit, splat, and any other ways he could get hurt.

"Wow!" The young Stan said in surprised.

Outside of the stage, Tom finished his part of the story and went on the other room behind the stage.

"Another painful day. When will this ever end?" Tom said until he spotted Stan near a flamethrower. "What the hell boy! You can't play with that!"

Tom tried to take the flamethrower away from Stan, but he already pressed the switch. Huge angry flames emerged out of the weapon. The inside of the backroom was caught on fire.

"Not again!" Tom said as he picked up the boy and escaped through the door.

Terrance and Phillip were still on the stage until they saw smoke. Suddenly an explosion was made at the back of the stage, causing the crowd to run.

"What the hell!" Phillip said.

20 min. later.

Sharon was worried that Stan might have been in the fire, until Tom appeared with the boy.

"I believe this is your child." Tom said angrily.

"Thank you, thank you." Sharon said repeatedly.

"You saved our boy, Tom." Randy said.

Police officer Yates came into the conversation between Stan's parents and Tom.

"Hold up the ceremony, folks. I think I know what caused the fire." Yates said. "It was this asshole!"

Yates pointed at Tom.

"Wait! I can explain!" Tom said.

"We have reports that you and some kid were the only ones in the other room of that stage." Yates said as other policemen came to the field. "A kid could never create such an enormous explosion. Which means that you must've done it. Take him away."

"My god." Randy said to the people around him. "The one who save our kid also caused the fire."

"Wait! It wasn't me. It was the kid." Tom said.

"Like I said. Kids can't create an enormous explosion." Yates said as the police handcuffed Tom. "You're going to jail for a really long time. Any last words."

"Yes I do have some words. When I get out of jail, I'm going to slaughter you boy."

Tom kept on staring at the boy with an awful look. This surprised the seven-year old Stan.

"Did he really mean that mommy?" Stan asked.

"Umm... Nope. Not at all." Sharon said. "Now let's forget this whole mess and live a peaceful life."

* * *

2 years later.

Tom was forgotten very quickly. Not many people heard of his name or even know that he used to be on the Terrance and Phillip show. He was now just a simple criminal in jail, waiting and waiting for his next move. Tom still remembered that boys face as he was stuck in his cold cell. He kept on plotting his revenge.

"Hey Tom!" A guard came with his lunch. "Here's your lunch."

The guard handed his lunch as he opened a small door on the wall. The small door revealed words on every part of the wall. It said, "Stan die, Stan die." Not only that Tom looked a little different. He had a scar on his cheek, a tattoo on his chest, and messy brown hair.

"You still want to kill that boy?" The guard asked.

"Yes. I'm in this prison because of that boy." Tom said.

"We all know why your here. Well, actually a lot of people forgot about you. Probably because Terrance and Phillip are still good at comedy. Even without violence."

"Whatever."

The guard closed the small door and walked through the hallway filled with cells holding vicious criminals.

Meanwhile at Stan's house.

Stan and his friends were all playing Halo on the Xbox. Suddenly Randy came in with mail.

"Hey Stan you got mail from... Um... Never mind." Randy said in awkward manner.

"Never mind? Where's my mail?" Stan asked.

"Actually this was my mail." Randy said as he burned the mail with a lighter.

"This is the 32nd time dad you burned my mail."

Meanwhile at South Park Prison.

Tom walked out of prison as he was finally free. Mostly because people who worked at the prison forgot about the fire and just decided to let him go.

"My revenge plot will start now." Tom said.

Later at Stan's room.

Stan logged onto Gmail, and saw one new mail from an unknown man.

"How did this guy got my email address?" Stan wondered as he clicked on the mail.

Stan was surprised as the email that said, "Die Stan, Die Stan, DIE!". Stan ran to the living room and asked his parents.

"Dad! Mom!"

"What is it sweety?" Sharon asked.

"Some stranger got my email address." Stan said.

"Duh. Almost everyone knows your email address. Your profile on face book sent it to every friend you used to have. Remember?" Randy said.

"Oh. But there's also another thing. This guy told me, 'Die Stan' over and over again. I think someone is after me."

"Oh no." Sharon said as she and his husband paused for a moment.

"Do you know something about this?"

"Um... No. But we should call the police just in case."

* * *

Meanwhile at school.

Stan was walking with his friends and told him what happened at home.

"It's probably nothing, Stan." Kyle said. "One simple death threat isn't going to hurt anybody."

"I guess you're right." Stan said as he went to his locker. As he opened the locker, a huge number of papers felled down on him that said, "Die Stan" over and over again.

"I think this is serious." Kenny muffled.

Later at the Boys locker room at the gym.

Stan was alone opening his locker. There was no death threat papers in his locker. Just his normal clothes. Stan took off his gym shirt and gym pants and reached for his usual clothes that he wears every day. Suddenly Stan heard walking noise. Stan quickly put his clothes on and put his gym clothes in a bag. He started to ran to the door, but it was locked.

"Hey! Hey! The doors locked!" Stan yelled as he tried to opened the door.

A stranger who had a hood that covered his face appeared behind Stan out of nowhere and pulled out a gun. Stan saw him standing at the same spot as he pressed the trigger. Stan was lucky this time. The stranger missed and the bullet shot the door knob which caused the door to open. Stan ran away from the stranger who was pissed off.

"Dang it. I was so close." Tom said.

* * *

Later at Stan's house.

Stan entered his house and saw a bunch of people. Mostly policemen. Others were his friends and Wendy.

"There you are Stan Marsh." Office Yates said. "I need some information about this guy."

"Sure." Stan said.

"Do you have any enemies that might want revenge?"

"Yeah. There's Barbara Streisand, Tom Cruise, Big Joe, Loogie, Scott Tenorman, Eric Cartman obviously, Satan, probably Damien, and..."

"Holy cow. How many enemies do you have?" Officer Yates said.

"About 203. Why?"

"This is going to be harder than I thought. We're going to have to call in the best detectives we can find."

* * *

3 hours later at the dining room.

Officer Yates, Stan Marsh, and his friends were at the table to see different professional detectives to help Stan's problem.

"Okay. First we have... The Hardy Boys!" Yates yelled in disappointment.

"Not the Hardy boys." Stan yelled.

The Hardy boys came in and saw the boys and the police officer in disappointment.

"Hi officer."

"Yes, yes. Do you know what to do in this case?" Yates asked.

"Well. We have to find clues don't we." Frank said as he smiled awkwardly.

"We should try to find some big clues." Joe said.

"I think I just felt a big one over there."

"Will someone get these weirdo's out of here!" Yates yelled as a bunch of policemen kicked them out of Stan's house.

Next was Detective Dupin.

"Finally. A real detective." Kyle said.

"Yes. I solved the case of Murders in the Rue Morgue." Dupin said as he came in the room. "I see you have a case about some death threats to a boy. Isn't that strange for someone to kill a boy at the age nine."

"We might have our man." Yates said. "Anyway, what can you do in this case."

"We look for the culprit by finding clues obviously. Even the smallest clues can lead to the culprit. The culprit could be anyone for now. It could be a gorilla, a duck, a..."

"Whoa, wait a minute." Kenny muffled. "Why would it be an animal?"

"The last case I solved was an Ourang-Outang. This case may even be dog. Dog's are intelligent and the dog may be in the house right now."

Suddenly Stan's dog came in and Dupin saw him.

"It was you wasn't it!" Dupin said as he chased the dog.

"Will someone get him out of here?" Yates said as a bunch of policemen kicked him out of the house.

Next was Sherlock Holmes.

"We are all big Sherlock Holmes fans and we want to see if you can solve this mystery. Can you?" Yates said in disappointment after the last detectives he saw.

"I'm not here to solve this mystery. I have a party with some celebrities, but I'll give you some advice." Sherlock said. "Think about it. Stan seems to have so many enemies."

"Yes?" Kyle said.

"Think about it again. Instead of some detective to solve it. How about having one Stan's enemy that hates him so much as this killer. Someone who knows how criminal thinks."

"My god. Sherlock is right." Yates said in surprised.

"But wait!" Eric said. "There's only one person who hates Stan so much than anyone else, and not just him, but us as well."

"You don't mean..." Kyle said as he freeze for a moment.

* * *

Later at juvenile hall.

The four kids, the police officer, and a guard were walking down to the hall filled with the rudest kids in these cells.

"The one you're looking for is at the end of the hallway." The guard said as he left.

The police officer and the four boys were walking all the way to the end of the hallway to see a cell made of steel.

"Hello Trent Boyett." Yates said.

The four boys looked at the bully with a scared look.

"What do you want?" Trent asked.

"We believe you are the one who hates these four boys more than anyone else. Plus, we also heard you know how a criminal thinks."

"Yes?"

"Were willing to make an offer. We need to capture this criminal who wants Stan dead. In return, you will be released right now and become free as a bird."

"Sounds good, but I want all of my juvenile records erased."

"What! We can't do that!" Yates said.

"It's that or this criminal kills the boy."

"Fine, you lucky son of a bitch."

Yates inserted the key into the lock and the door opened. Trent walked out of the cell and looked at the boys with an angry look.

"... Hi... Trent..." Stan said with a worried voice.

"Whatever." Trent said. "I still hate you guys."

* * *

Later at the kitchen of Kyle's house.

"Okay. I really hate to work with you trouble making bastards, but I have no choice." Trent said. "Anyway how many enemies you have?"

"203." Stan said.

"Of course."

"Anyway I have an Idea. We should create a dummy that looks like Stan. The criminal might tried to destroy the dummy. Then we find our culprit."

"That's not a bad idea Trent." Eric said.

"I still hate you."

"I know..."

* * *

Later at 9:00 at Stan's front yard.

Trent put the dummy that looks like Stan in front of Stan's front yard.

"The trap is set. Now we hide in the bushes and wait to see our killer." Trent said as he and the boys ran to the bushes.

They were waiting and waiting.

Suddenly a car drove slowly near the front yard and stopped. It was Tom Cruise with a brick.

"Take this you scientology hating bastard!" Tom Cruise said as he threw the brick at the dummy.

The boys saw Tom Cruise drove off and the dummy was still standing normally.

"It seems your killer is... wait. Who's that?" Trent said.

Another person walked by and saw the dummy. It was Father Maxi from the church holding a bat.

"This is for egging my house last night." Father Maxi said as he hit the dummy with the bat.

A mechanic came and saw Stan. (The mechanic is the guy who talks about Indian burial grounds and vampires. He is first seen in Butter's Very Own Episode, Asspen, and Marjorine.)

"Take this you Native American hating kid!" The mechanic said as he kicks him and ran away.

"I don't hate Native Americans!" Stan said in a low voice.

"Um... Yes. You don't." Eric said in a strange low voice.

"Eric! Did you told people that I hate Native Americans?"

"Maybe."

"Shh. There's another person coming." Kyle said.

Suddenly Randy came with a stick.

"You need discipline, Son." Randy said as he hit him with the stick. "This is for breaking my rock collection!"

Randy ran away and suddenly Eric Cartman ran to the dummy and kicked the dummies balls.

"Take this and this!" Eric said.

"Uh... Eric? What are you doing?" Kyle said.

"I want to beat up the dummy too."

* * *

The next day.

The four boys were at Mr. Garrisons classroom with the other children.

"Okay boys and girls. We have a new student or should I call it old student? Anyway his name is Trent Boyett."

Trent Boyett entered the classroom and suddenly everyone were surprised and scared at the same time, except for Stan, Kyle, Eric, and Kenny.

"Hello class." Trent said in anger.

"Hey wait a minute." Mr. Garrison. "Weren't you that kid that burn the kindergarten class?"

Trent did not answer the question. Instead he just walked to an empty desk between Butters and Eric.

"I thought you were... um... in juvenile hall for five years?" Butters said in fear.

"The police promised me freedom if I catch the murderer." Trent said in a angry voice. "Are you scared Butters?"

"Maybe a little."

"You should be... right after I'm free from that rotten prison."

* * *

Later at recess.

Most of the boys were playing football until Trent came.

"Hey guys. I'm going to play football with you guys." Trent said.

"Um... Sure Trent." Clyde said in fear as he passes him the football.

The game started and Trent through the ball so high that it landed on Kenny's face to the ground.

"Oh my god you killed Kenny." Stan said.

"You..." Kyle said until he saw the angered Trent. "Um..."

Suddenly Kenny stood up alive from the snow, but bleeding from the noise and had several injuries.

Later, Pip came by.

"Hello Gentleman. I see your playing football. May I join your game?" Pip asked politely.

"Shut up Pip." Stan said.

"Who's the new gentleman over there."

"That's Trent Boyett." Kyle said. "He's meaner and tougher than both the 6th and 9th graders."

"So he's a bully. Maybe I should have a talk with him so I can change his ways." Pip said.

"No Pip..."

"Yes Pip. Chat with the bully." Eric interrupted.

Kyle, Eric, Stan, Kenny, and the other boys saw Pip chatting with Trent. Trent didn't look angered anymore. They were just talking friendly and Pip came back to the crowd of boys.

"What the hell? He didn't beat you up?" Token said.

"What did he say?" Kyle said.

"He said that he hates all of you. Mostly Stan, Kenny, Eric, Kyle, and maybe Butters. Then I said that he should forget about all that, because it could lead him to bigger trouble. Then he threaten me to stuff my throat with parts of a bicycle. Then I said he should see the counselor for help."

The boys stood for a moment thinking why did Trent not beat Pip, the most annoying person in South Park.

* * *

Later at the counselor's office.

"Okay Trent. Why do you think that your angry?" Mr. Mackey asked.

"Because I try to beat the hell out of them and force them to cut themselves."

"Yes. I see. Well... You can still act like a bully mostly because of the lack of rules in this stupid school, but you should still try to be calmer and relax."

"You mean I can still bully kids, but let the anger go?

"Yes Trent. We're talking about your anger here."

* * *

Later at Stan's Kitchen.

Stan's friends and Trent were thinking of who the killer might be.

"Hey Boys!" Randy yelled. "We have more mail. Well only two for Stan."

"What is it?"

"Well the one of them says, 'Die Stan'. The other is an invitation to Token's Birthday Party."

"Sweet." Eric said. "Rich guys parties are always good."

"I don't think you should go Stan." Trent said in a good mood. "The killer might strike there."

"I don't know what I should do?" Stan said. "Get killed or go to a rich guy's party?"

"Come on Stan." Kyle said. "I bet he won't appear in front of a crowd of children or adults. If he did he might be discovered."

"What if he disguises himself as one of the guests?" Trent asked.

"It can't be that bad." Stan said. "The party is tomorrow. Today we'll get Token's present."

"Let's get him one of those robot pet dogs that just came out." Kenny muffled.

* * *

Later at the toy store.

The boys and Trent stepped out of the toy store and were taking a walk. As they were walking on the street, a stranger bumped into Stan. Some of his possessions felled out of his pockets and hand.

"Sorry. Didn't saw you there." The Stranger said.

"Sorry. Let me pick this stuff up for you." Stan said as he picked up his IPod, a hairbrush, and a arrow that has an imprint that says Terrance and Phillip. "Hey. You have one of those rare Terrance and Phillip arrows. Why do you have one?"

"It's nothing okay. I need to go now."

"Why do you always carry a hairbrush around you?" Eric asked. "Is it for the hair on your head because your almost bald."

"Shut up fatass. He has short brown hair." Trent said. "The last thing you guys need is more enemies."

* * *

The next day at Token's backyard.

Token's party was huge. It was filled with children and adults. The party also had Terrance and Phillip in the crowd. The four boys entered the crowd, while Trent was keeping an eye on them at a far distance.

"Hey Token!" Kyle yelled.

Token went through the crowd and to the boys to say, "What?"

"How did you got Terrance and Phillip to be here?"

"I'm rich."

"Oh yeah. How could I forgot?"

Trent was at the table filled with food. He saw the cake and took a piece. Mostly because he hadn't had one for a long time during juvenile. As he took the cake he saw a small green laser on the table.

"What is this." Trent asked himself. He looked where the laser was coming from and saw a stranger in Token's mansion at the 3rd floor. "The Killer."

The laser was moving to a different spot. Trent ran into the mansion as fast as he could. Meanwhile Stan was chatting with Butters.

"Butters. You need to learn to know what's gay and what's not." Stan said in a serious voice.

"Okay."

"All this hugging, kissing, and other things. You need to know that makes you look gay, Butters."

"Eric told me that..."

"Butters! I know you're not gay, but you should know not to do this. You should never get tricked easily by... What's that?"

Stan saw a green light coming near him.

Meanwhile Trent was on the third floor. He was almost there. As he ran through the hallway he saw the stranger near a window with a crossbow connected with explosive ammo and a green laser. Trent noticed the arrow had an imprint of the words Terrance and Phillip. The Stranger was the person they met earlier. The Stranger was about to released the arrow until Trent threw a lamp at him he found at a small table earlier. This caused the Stranger to misfire and hit Kenny through the arm.

"Oh my God." Stan said.

"They killed... No wait. He's still alive." Kyle said as he looked at the injured Kenny.

Suddenly the arrow exploded along with Kenny.

"They finally killed Kenny!" Stan said.

"You bastards!" Kyle said.

Meanwhile at the 3rd floor of the mansion.

The stranger pulled out a gun in an attempt to shoot Stan, but Trent leaped from the ground and pushed himself along with the Stranger through the shattered window and landed to the green grass unconscious.

Later at the Party.

The police came and arrested the Stranger as they took off the hood revealing Tom.

"I don't know this guy." Stan said.

"Never seen him in my life." Eric said.

Other people started saying things similar to Stan and Eric's answer. Terrance and Phillip arrived to see who was the murderer.

"Tom!" Terrance said.

"You know this guy?" Kyle asked.

"Yes." Phillip answered. "We used to work together and a best friend until that certain accident two years ago."

"He kept on saying it was some seven-year old kid with black hair or something." Terrance said.

"Wait." Stan paused for a minute. "A seven-year old kid with black hair? That killer doesn't think it was me, does he?"

"Stan." Randy said as he came through the crowd. "We need a talk about this. You see, this murderer who tried to kill you today, also saved you from a fire two years ago. He also said that you burned the stage and the police didn't believe him. Kind of think of it, I'm starting to think it was you who started the fire."

"Yeah right." Stan said.

"Actually Stan, we've been in a lot of unfortunate adventures that also involved with fires." Kyle said. "I think this killer had a reason to kill you."

"Dude!"

"I'm just saying."

"See!" Tom said. "It wasn't me who caused that fire. It was that boy."

"Yes, but an attempt murder of Stan and the murder of Kenny still gets you a one-way ticket to jail." Officer Yates said.

"You won't hear the last of me, Stan. Not just you, but your friends as well."

"Shut up Tom." Officer Yates said.

The police, Tom, Terrance and Phillip, and other people left the party.

"I'm glad that's over with." Stan said. "But do you think he'll get out of jail?"

"Nah." Eric said.

"You know guys." Trent said as he entered the boys conversation. "Saving someone's life feels good."

"Really?" Eric said. "That's nice Trent. Maybe you can start a new life where you can do all the good deeds you want."

"Cartman. I still hate you and I don't believe one word of what you said. Plus, bullying people feels more good than being nice to people."

"I was so close to changing him." Eric yelled.

Meanwhile at South Park prison.

Tom was at his cell planning his next revenge.

"This is perfect." Tom said as he laughed so loud.

Suddenly a bunch of prisoners began saying, "Shut up." as they woke up from his bed.


	6. Eric and Bear

Stan, Kenny, Kyle, and Eric were walking on the sidewalk and entered Kyle's house during open season.

"There you are kids." Randy said as he and the other boys fathers came into the front room. "We can't go hunting with you boys."

"What?" Eric said in surprised. "But why?"

"Because, we have to go to work and we forgot to pay our bills."

"Then who do we hunt with?"

"I'll go hunting with you boys." Sharon said as she came in.

"No Sharon. You're a women. Women can't go hunting." Randy said.

"Woman's have rights too you know."

"Whatever."

Sharon left the house in anger after hearing the word, "Whatever".

"Who do we go hunt with now?" Kyle asked.

Randy looked around the house and saw Kyle's Grandpa, Kenny's Grandpa, Eric's Grandpa, and Stan's Grandpa watching television of a bunch of dogs chasing their own tails.

"Hey Grandpa." Randy asked.

"What the hell do you want Billy?" Marvin Marsh asked.

"Can you take the boys to hunting. We can't go because of work and bills."

"Sure. How about we all go. In fact, back in World War II I managed to kill seven German Nazi's with a single pistol from a..."

"No one doesn't want to hear your war stories Grandpa."

"Hey! I am your Grandpa and a War Veteran. If you don't listen..."

"Do you want to go hunting or not?"

"Fine. I'll go hunting with the young lads."

"Uh Dad." Stan said. "You do know that our grandpas are old and have poor vision right?"

"Yes, but don't worry. I bought this football helmets just in case if my dad or his friends ever hold a gun." Randy said.

"Football helmets? Will look stupid with those in woods."

Later outside the house.

* * *

It was 3:00 in the morning and the boys were in the car sleeping after being woke up so early in bed.

Stan was dreaming about Wendy, Kenny was dreaming about Kelly, Kyle was dreaming about Rebecca, and Cartman was dreaming about Kentucky Fried Chicken covered with maple syrup.

"My god." Cartman said in his sleep. "No. NO!. Don't take it away Colonel Sanders. I'll pay for it. Why are you... AHH!"

Cartman woke up and saw his friends waking up before him.

"I had a nightmare." Eric said. "Colonel Sander gave me some chicken covered in maple syrup and then took it away and eating it. It was like torture."

"You should know fat ass." Kyle said.

"At least I'm not a dumb Jew."

"At least my butt doesn't weigh over 2000 pounds."

"Well... um... shut up... Jew."

"Okay Billy." Grandpa Marvin said outside from the car. "We got all of our guns, water, and food supplies for open season."

The old men started entering the car. Marvin needed help getting into the car because of the wheel chair.

Jack Broflovski started the car and began driving on the road.

"Oh please god, save me." Eric said as the old man began driving.

"Uh Grandpa." Kyle said as the car went faster.

"What is it, Larry?" Jack said.

"My name's Kyle, and aren't we going past the speed limit?"

"What the hell are you talking about Larry. Everything is perfectly..."

The car drove off a cliff when they could've been safely on a bridge. After that, the car felled into the river, but it still manage to float.

"How did we got here?" Harold Cartman said.

"How the heck would I know." Jerry McCormick said.

"Who am I." Jack Broflovski asked.

"Oh god. I need to take a leak." Marvin said. "... Never mind."

Later after a few hours, the car hit a few rocks in the river. The old men and young boys stepped out of the car and onto the rocks. They later jumped to different rocks to reach to solid ground. The old men needed help to walk on the slipper rocks.

"Hey look. It's the camp." Jerry McCormick said.

"Oh good. We can rest for a while there." Harold Cartman said.

* * *

The boys were hunting with their grandpa's separately in the silent dark woods. Meanwhile at Eric's team.

Eric was teamed with Harold Cartman. As he kept on walking on the ground, he started to be tired and hungry. Harold Cartman started to do the same thing.

"Let's rest for a while." Eric said.

"Okay Noah." Harold said.

"What's with you old folks giving us the wrong name."

"We may be old, but I'm still strong enough to take down an animal. Come on Noah. Let's hunt an animal."

"Oh dang it. My words are some kind of curse."

"Hey look Noah!" Harold said. "I see a huge grizzly bear."

"Really! Good. We can make some bear stake."

Harold and Eric were hiding behind the bushes as he saw the bear. It was just standing still on four legs. It's as if it knows were here.

"Eric. I let you take the first shot." Harold said. "Try to aim at the neck or the forehead."

"Okay Grandpa." Eric said as he took out his sniper and hold it steadily to the neck.

As Eric locked on the neck, he pressed the trigger. Suddenly the bear was dead instantly after the shot. Eric smiled after he killed the bear.

"Good. Come on Eric, I'll carry the bear, since you did the shooting."

"But your old." Eric said.

"Do you want steak or not?"

"I do."

"Good. I'll bring the bear."

"Sure."

Harold Cartman and Eric Cartman ran out of the bushes and to the dead bear. Harold picked it up and carried the bear with his strong arms. For an old fat man, he was able to carry the bear.

"Whoa. You can really carry a bear." Eric said

"This bear isn't so heavy. Anyway stay here and fill the canteen with water in that river." Harold said.

"Fine." Eric said.

"You know... I think your behavior is changing after you killed that bear."

As Harold left, Eric saw something come out of the bushes. It was a bear cub trying to find where his mother is.

"My god. What have I done." Eric said. Eric ran to the bear cub in guilt. "Don't worry little cub. You can live with me and..." Eric stood for a second and thought what he was doing. He was acting nice strangely. "Don't worry cub. Don't worry."

* * *

The four boys and four grandpa's were sitting at a log in front of a cabin. Kyle's grandpa was telling a story about his life during World War II

"Did you know I was on the plane called the Enola Gay." Jack said.

"Tell us more about it Grandpa." Kyle said.

"Okay. You see, a long time ago the U.S. wanted me, some other men, a dolphin, and a whale to bomb Hiroshima."

"A dolphin and a whale?" Stan said.

"Yeah why?" Jack said. "It's even in the history books at the library."

"I just thought that the whole whaling problem... oh never mind."

"Hey where's Cartman?" Kenny muffled.

Cartman was behind the cabin, putting the bear into the back of the car. The young grizzly bear had a sheet over his body.

"Stay there." Eric said.

"Hey Cartman! Are you over there?" Stan yelled at the other side of the cabin.

"Of course I am. You think I would be at the woods alone.?"

Eric ran to the campfire and sat on the log with the other guys.

"So, anyways." Jack said. "The whale was in charge of keeping the bomb... what's that noise?"

A large noise came from the car.

"Oh dammit. I told that bear to... I mean let's go check it out." Eric said.

"Okay, Cartman." Harold said as he picked up his gun.

"Maybe you don't want to pick up the gun."

"Why not. It might be another animal."

"What if it's not?"

"Shutup Noah. I'm bringing the gun whether you like it or not."

The old men and boys were at the car looking for whatever made that noise.

"Hey what happened to all our food?" Kenny muffled as he saw the food gone.

"It's either a large hungry animal looking for food." Marvin said. "Or just some lost weird hobo."

"What's that?" Stan said as he pointed a shadowy figure near the trees.

Harold raised his gun and pointed at the shadowy figure. He pressed the trigger and shot it dead.

"Oh shit. The..."

"Quit your wining." Harold said. "It's just a drunken hobo. You know you're starting act like a damn hippie."

"I'm not a damn hippie. Only Stan would be one."

"Hey! I'm not a hippie." Stan argued.

"What about that one time where you save those cows."

"Well..."

"And that one point where those college students convinced you to be a hippie."

"Okay but..."

"And that one time where you saw the Bee Movie."

"He's got you there." Kyle said.

* * *

The guys were in the car driving on the road. The grizzly bear was on the car, secretly hiding on the back of the car under the sheet again.

"I'm hungry grandpa." Stan said.

"Were almost there, Billy." Harold said. "Wait a minute... who are you again?"

"I'm Stan and you're not my grandpa."

"Oh... Then who's my grandson?"

"That would be me." Eric said.

After a while, the boys and the old men were stepping out of the car and into Stan's house.

"Were back!" Stan said.

"How was hunting boys?" Sharon said as she came in.

"It was alright. Hey? Where's Cartman?"

Stan, Kyle, and Kenny went outside and saw Cartman trying to pull something under a sheet.

"Hey Cartman? What are you doing?" Kyle asked.

"I'm trying to um... get my stuff out of the car." Eric answered.

"The only thing you brought was a box of food and a PSP."

"Shutup you Jew! You can't prove anything! You got that! I mean... have a nice day."

Cartman left the group along with the bear under the sheet.

"I think I just saw feet under that sheet." Kenny muffled.

"Whatever. Let's just go play basketball." Kyle said.

* * *

Meanwhile at Cartman's house.

Cartman was walking in circles in his room as the bear cub just watches him.

"If you're going to live here, then you are going to need a name?" Eric said "How about Boris?"

The bear suddenly growled at him.

"Yes your right. That name is too gay."

"What about Buck, because you look like a buck too me."

The bear shook his head.

"I guess you don't like the word Buck. Let's stop the naming you for a while."

Eric walked down stairs and to the TV room. He turned on the TV to the Terrance and Phillip show. As he watched the two Canadians farting each other ended. He saw a Yogi Bear commercial.

"Yogi huh. They should just put him only in the TV show. Toys, Commercial and..."

Suddenly Cartman thought of something.

"That's it! I can name the bear Yogi. It's perfect."

* * *

Later at school.

It was Pet day, and Clyde was showing his pet frog.

"Okay Clyde. You get an C for having both a retarded report and a retarded frog." Mr. Garrison said. "Next is Cartman. Where's Cartman?"

"Cartman probably just ditched school." Stan said.

Suddenly Cartman ran through the door of the classroom.

"There you are Cartman. I believe you're going to show your stupid cat again?"

"Hey! My cat is not stupid, and I have a different animal to bring." Eric said.

"Let me guess. A retarded frog."

Clyde looked at Mr. Garrison in angry look.

"Nope. What I have here is one of the most dangerous animals in America." Eric said. "The Grizzly Bear!"

A grizzly bear came in to the classroom.

"That bear doesn't look dangerous." Wendy said.

"It's a cub. It'll be dangerous when it grows up." Eric said.

"Only if it lives in the wild." Trent said.

"Trent? Your here? I thought... oh yeah, your free because of that murderer." Eric said. "Anyway my pet is..."

"5 minutes is over Eric." Mr. Garrison interrupted.

"What!"

"You shouldn't have chit-chat with your classmates. You get an F."

Suddenly the bear growled at Mr. Garrison.

"What are you going to do. Kill me? Like that's ever going to happen."

The bear jumped at Mr. Garrison and started to claw his face and bite his shoulder.

"Dude?" Stan said. "I thought you said grizzly bear cubs aren't dangerous."

"I lied." Eric said. "The true information is on this report."

Eric showed the classroom his report as the bear continues to attack Mr. Garrison.

"For some reason, you should never hold cheese in your lunch boxes. Bears hate that for some reason."

Suddenly the bear started to attack Mr. Garrison even more.

"Why is he still trying to kill the teacher?" Butters asked.

"There must be cheese in his lunch bag." Eric answered as he look inside Mr. Garrison's lunch bag on the chair.

"Anyway..."

Eric turned around and saw the whole class gone, except Trent.

"Trent? Why are you still here?"

"I'm tougher than that bear. Isn't it obvious." Trent answered.

"I don't know. They say the grizzly bear is one of the most dangerous animals in America."

Suddenly the grizzly stopped and Mr. Garrison stood up with tired clothes, bite marks, scratches, and broken glasses.

"Eric you get an A." Mr. Garrison said.

"Cool, Why?"

The bear suddenly growled at him as if he was threatening him.

"Because you just do!" said as he ran out of the classroom.

* * *

Later at Lunch.

Cartman was eating at the lunch table with his friends. He took a bite out of his tuna sandwich until Kyle kept on saying, "Eric."

"What?" Eric said.

"Your bear is eating the other kid's lunches." Kyle said as he looked at the bear stealing lunch.

"So?"

"He's a freaking bear. Don't you know how dangerous there are?"

"Yeah Jew. I told you about it in the report."

"Then why are you going to let him terrorize the cafeteria."

"Fine. Hey Yogi!"

"You named him Yogi?" Stan asked.

"Duh. What other name could I think of?"

"What about Boris?"

"Nope. The bear growled at me for that."

"Oh. Where's Kenny?"

"Hey Yogi. This is the second time I called you."

The bear came, and coughed out a orange parka with blood stains all over it.

"Oh my god! He killed Kenny!" Stan said.

"Everyone knew that Stan. Kenny was going to die sooner or later." Kyle said.

The next day.

Eric woke up from his bed and opened his eyes. He looked at the bear sleeping beside his bed. He noticed something different about the bear. It was a bit bigger than before, and...

"We'll you just shut up Narrator. I just woke up on Saturday in the morning."

Sorry.

Later at the town of South Park.

Eric walked on the sidewalk to the mall with his bear. Everyone looked at the child and the bear. The bear was almost big as an adult. Eric entered the mall until a guard stopped the boy.

"Hey Boy! There are no dogs allowed here." The guard said.

"But it's a bear." Eric yelled.

"Well than... go on ahead."

As he entered the mall, the South Park citizens start to look at the bear with a scared look. The bear saw a man holding cheese, and suddenly the animal roared. Hundreds of people in the mall ran away to safety, except for Eric.

"Cool. No lines or people to shove me around."

* * *

The next day.

The bear was sleeping on the ground but was now the size of its mother. Eric was already woke up and was watching TV. Eric was laughing as he saw the new episode called, "This is Farta!". The episode was a spoof of the movie, "300". Eric watched the cartoon as Terrance farted at Phillips face and then started to throw a stink bomb at a bunch of Persians.

"This is so funny. Though the farting joke is starting to get stale."

Eric turned off the TV and went up stairs to his room to play X-Box. As he got to his room, he saw no bear on the floor.

"Yogi! Yogi!" Eric yelled. He started to search in the kitchen, the basement, the master bed room, and the garage, but there was no bear. "Where the hell are you Yogi?"

Suddenly Eric heard screams at the town. He decided to go for a look. As the young, but fat, boy searches through the town, he sees people running from the north part of South Park. He ran to northern South Park and sees a bunch of hunters.

"What the hell are you guys doing here?" Eric said

Jimbo and Ned are walking to Eric and said, "Were hunting a grizzly bear."

"You can't hunt Yogi."

"Yogi? Is he your pet or something?"

"Duh, or I wouldn't call him Yogi. Anyway, you can't hunt him."

"Sorry kid, but grizzly bears are dangerous and not many hunters here can kill a grizzly bears."

Jimbo and Ned walked away from Eric and to the direction where the bear might be. Eric followed the hunters. As he got there, he saw a bunch of hunters dead on the floor with bite marks and scratches. Some hunters were alive and lucky.

"You see Eric." Jimbo said. "This is what I mean."

"Okay I see but..."

"Not a lot of people can catch or kill a grizzly bear but..."

"Hey! I thought you were going to talk about how dangerous they were. Not how hard it is to kill one."

"Still kid..."

Jimbo turned around and saw the grizzly bear in front of him in anger. Cartman watches Jimbo as he tried to pull up his gun, but the bear managed to take it away and throw it to somewhere else. This surprised Jimbo as not many bears could do that. Ned pulled his knife, but the Bear roared at him and Ned dropped the knife. Jimbo and Ned were suddenly helpless as they had no more weapons, until Cartman stopped the bear.

"Settled down Yogi. These guys are just a bunch of retarded rednecks." Eric said as he ran between the hunters and the bear.

"Hey! One of your fathers... I mean your uncle happened to be a redneck too." Jimbo said.

"Fathers? I don't care anymore. Anyway... Yogi. These aren't bad people. There just people who got kicked out of middle school and decided to go hunt a bunch of ducks for money."

"Hey! I actually went to college and almost got a degree in Music."

"Did you dropped out?"

"... Pretty much..."

The bear started to calm down and started acting more friendly to the hunters.

"You know Eric. I think you maybe right about this animal I think... NOW!" Jimbo yelled.

Suddenly a bunch of policemen came out with guns. They shot the bear as they pressed the trigger.

"Jesus Christ!" Eric yelled in surprised. "What the hell!"

Suddenly the bear felled down to the ground dead as blood oozed out.

2 hours later.

The bear was taken on a Vet ambulance with a sheet over it. Eric was sitting on the sidewalk crying until his two friends come by.

"What the hell do you want?" Eric asked as he wiped off his tears.

"I heard that your pet bear..." Kyle said.

"Shut up Kyle. I don't own him as a pet. I befriended him. I actually cared about something."

"What about those Jackovasaurus?"

"Okay... I did care about that."

"How about that time those people had a butt disorder." Stan said.

"I didn't care about them... sort of."

"What about that time when Wendy started to have a short relationship with you?" Kyle said.

Suddenly Stan punched Kyle in the face. He was knocked out and felled to the ground.

"Okay, but now I don't care about her."

"Remember that time he took a bunch of cats in his house. You cared about..."

"OKAY! OKAY! I guess I do care about a bunch of things." Eric yelled. "But I will never forget about Yogi."

"You want to get some Ice Cream?" Stan said.

"Sure... I'll buy."

Stan and Eric went to the ice cream store and left the unconscious Kyle on the ground.


	7. Once a Nice Boy, Now a Vicious Killer

Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Eric were sitting down in the 4th grade classroom at there desks. Mr. Garrison entered the 4th grade classroom with a pack of papers in his hands. As he went to his desk he put the pack of papers on his wooden desk and stood up in front of the class.

"Okay kids. I have an announcement to make. We have a new student today. Come here Derek. Don't be shy." Mr. Garrison as he said to someone outside of the classroom.

The kids were laughing, thinking that the kid might be a weak nerd or some gentle nice guy who could easily get thrown down by a toothpick. The child came in to the door and wore a green beret, army clothes, wore an dog tag around his neck, and had brown hair. He looked like someone who would be from the army.

"His name is Derek Gadesto. Tell us about yourself Derek."

"My dad used to work in the army as a computer engineer and a soldier. Now he works as a professor at South Park University. Anyway, It's nice to meet you all."

Suddenly an alarm was heard from Derek's watch.

"What's that?" Kyle said.

The normal boy looked at his watch.

"I have to take my medicine or I'll get diarrhea." Derek answered

"Okay... I'll stop asking questions now."

"This guy is a hella weird" Eric whispered to the students.

"How many times do I have to say not to say, hella, all the time." Kyle argued.

"He's actually right." Butters said.

"Butters? You actually agree to this." Stan whispered.

"I may have befriended a few nerds, weirdo's, and sissy's, but this guy is a wacko."

The other boys were agreeing with Butters.

"Boys? What are you doing over there?" Mr. Garrison said.

"We were just talking about how lame Derek is." Butters said.

"Dammit Butters." Eric said.

Derek looked down to the ground sad as he heard Butter's words.

"Not again." Derek said.

"Don't worry Derek. You can sit between Stan and Wendy."Mr. Garrison said.

"I just hope this doesn't happen again like the other school."

"You mean explode diarrhea everywhere?" Eric asked in laughter. No one else was laughing with him as he used this joke before several times.

Derek went to his seat as he felt like he didn't belong here.

"Hey Derek." Wendy said. "I'm not like these boys. Maybe I can help your problems."

"That's nice but my dad said I should never drink soda, and see, hear, smell, touch, or even taste anything warlike or destruction." Derek said.

"Why?" Stan said as he entered the conversation. "Doesn't that seem lame."

"I know why, but I can't tell you otherwise..."

"Derek!" Mr. Garrison yelled. "There is no talking in my class. I know you're the new student, but if you do it again, then you're going to detention."

"Yes sir."

* * *

Later at recess.

Stan, Kyle, Eric, and Kenny were playing football with the other kids on the snow, except Derek. Stan saw Derek walking alone on the snow, then he saw 6th graders following the normal nice boy.

"Hey nerd." A 6th grader said to Derek.

"What?" Derek said.

"Were going to give you a knuckle sandwich."

Suddenly the normal boy heard strange noises from a gun. One of the 4th graders at the other side of the playground had a bebe gun in their hands. Suddenly the normal boys eyes turned blue to grey, teeth turning flat to spiky, and just frozed there. He suddenly saw visions of guns shooting, airplanes bombing, and helicopters crashing. He saw war in his head.

"Hey kid are you..."

Derek threw a throwing knife to the 4th grader who had a bebe gun in his hand. The knife was stuck into the boys head and felled down to the ground dead.

"What the hell?" A 6th grader said as he saw the dead 4th grader.

"Let's get out of here." Another 6th grader said.

Suddenly the crazy child who was once normal, captured one of the 6th graders with a rope he found under the snow. He then twisted his neck causing him to die on the ground. The other children, except Eric, saw Derek killing other children in the playground.

"What the heck is Derek doing?" Kyle said as he saw the murderous child lighting a fire on the slides.

"You mean that nerd?" Eric said as he is still not looking at Derek. Instead he is looking at a cool marble he found on the snow.

"Dude. He's killing the other kids." Stan said as he saw Derek blowing up the swings.

"Derek? Him? He would never do that. He's a wimp."

"What's going on?" Mr. Mackey said as he came to the playground in a hurry after hearing an explosion from the playground.

"The new kid is killing everyone." Kenny muffled as he pointed at the murderous Derek.

"Hey new kid!" Mr. Mackey yelled.

"What!" Derek said as he turned around with a knife in his hand.

"Mr. Garrison lost all of pencils. Do you know where it is?"

"Over there." Derek pointed at a child dead with pencils stabbing through his eye.

"Thanks, M'kay. Anyway... I heard your playing with the children a little too rough. You're going to have to come to my office with your parents."

* * *

Later at Mackey's office.

Derek's dad was sitting beside a calm Derek chained to a chair.

"Okay, your son has been destroying school property and killing children because..." Mr. Mackey said.

"Not again." Mr. Gadesto said.

"What do you mean?"

"My son has psychofobis. It's a type of PTSD that turns a calm normal child to a vicious war killer. My child was accidently thrown into the War in Afghanistan. As he saw the violence of the war, he just went insane and started killing both friendly and enemy soldiers."

"I see. Is there a cure for this disorder?"

"No. This type of disorder is really rare to have. Only seven children are confirmed to have this. My child only starts to act like a killer if he drinks soda, sees or hears anything war-like or destructive."

Suddenly, Mr. Mackey and Derek's parents heard a sound on the other side of Mr. Mackey's door. Mr. Mackey stood up from his chair and walked towards the door. He opened it and saw Kyle, Stan, and Kenny in front of him.

"What are you doing here?"

"We just came to find out if anything happened." Stan said.

"Just get out of here. Will talk about what you heard later."

* * *

Later at the 4th grade classroom.

All of the boys were talking about Derek in the 4th grade classroom. Most of the girls did not believe what the boys said. They just kept on thinking that Derek was nice, but yet a little weird at the same time.

"Anyway, Derek had a type of PTSD called Pyschofobris Disorder." Stan said. "It makes Derek act crazy if he drinks soda, or sees and hears anything war-like."

"That's what's making him crazy?" Clyde said.

"Pretty much." Kyle said.

"You guys." Eric said. "Derek is not some killer with a disorder. He's just some faggy nice nerd that's cool with the ladies."

"Ladies?" Kenny muffled.

"Yep. I actually already seen him chatting with seventeen girls. Ain't I'm right Stan?"

"What do you mean?" Stan asked.

"Oh nothing, unless that Derek had a chat with Wendy."

"It's... not a big deal. Right Wendy?"

Stan turned around to Wendy and she smiled.

"There's nothing between me and Derek, Stan." Wendy said. "He's just a nice kid. Though, he really does listen to what I say, but also alone. Poor kid."

"Oh good. Saying poor kid is definitely a sign that you're not dating that psycho." Stan said.

"Psycho? Your also a part of this rumor?"

"Wendy... This is not a rumor. He really goes psycho when he hears or sees anything war-like."

"He is not a psycho!" Bebe said as she came into the conversation.

"Yeah!" Red said as she also came into the conversation.

Suddenly more girls came into the conversation, saying Derek is not a war killer.

"Hey! Hey!" Eric said. "For once, I actually agree with the girls. Derek is just a wimp."

"No he's not!" Red said again.

"Your just saying that, because he actually listens to you dumb whores."

"Well, at least he's not a fat angry slob, like you are." Bebe yelled.

"I'm not a slob, I'm just big bone."

"Dude. That is really getting old." Kyle said.

"Shut up Kyle."

Suddenly Derek came into the classroom and the boys immediately sat in silence, except Cartman and the girls. Derek sat down at his desk between the scared Stan and the joyful Wendy. Suddenly Mr. Garrison came in mad with pencils that had a little bit blood on it.

"Class! I heard someone is making rumors that Derek is a killer."

"But its..." Stan said until he was interrupted by Mr. Garrison.

"So it was you who made the rumors about the killer, I mean Derek."

"No, because these aren't rumors, Mr. Garrison."

"Will talk about this later. Anyway, let's talk about World War II."

Suddenly all of the boys were even more scared after hearing World War II, except Eric. Tweak was the most scared, because of his coffee problem. As Mr. Garrison talked about World War II, Derek started to froze again. He tried to control himself, but it was difficult.

"Okay children. We are going to do a project about World War II. There will be two teams called the Allied Powers and the Axis Powers. Then you will be divided into several teams within those teams." Mr. Garrison said. "Now, Timmy and Kyle is an Axis power, Stan and Eric is an alley power

"What! I have to team up with the fatass?" Stan said.

"Hey!" Eric said

"Yes Stan. Do the project, or you get an F. Anyway, Clyde and Kenny is an Alley Power, Wendy and Derek is an Axis Power..."

"That's even more worst than what I said before!" Stan interrupted as he stood up from his seat.

"No it isn't dude." Kyle said. "Eric really is worst than Derek."

"Shut up Kyle." Eric yelled.

"Stan, sit down. I don't care if Wendy and you aren't working together in this project. Now just stop worrying and start working!" Mr. Garrison yelled.

* * *

The next day.

Stan, Kyle, and Kenny were walking towards Derek's house. Derek's house looked normal and pretty much the same as anyone's house. The kids knocked on the door, and Derek's father opened it.

"It's you. The ones who heard the truth about my son." Mr. Gadesto said.

"Well, sorry." Kyle said.

"Anyway, we need some more information about Derek and his, 'issue', if you know what I mean." Stan said.

"I guess I should, since you already know from earlier. Come in."

The boys entered the house and saw the insides of the house as a normal clean room, instead of a dangerous battle field.

"As you know, Derek has PTSD, but not any normal PTSD." Mr. Gadesto said. "Psychofobris, only seven children in the world have this, or not."

"What do you mean not?" Kenny muffled.

"You see, Derek had Psychofobris ever since he was born and is the only child to have it. Plus, anyone could start to act like a killer with PTSD. Psychofobris could only start to work or activate if he saw something so violent. That would be the War in Afghanistan. After that, It could activate immediately if he even saw the tiniest smallest violent thing. It's possible to withstand a few times or more, but it's difficult."

"I thought you couldn't get PTSD when your born." Stan said.

"Well, Psychofobris is different. Psychofobris wasn't just in him naturally. It was genetically put in him. You see, a person named Prof. Mephesto help me turn my son in to a monster."

"Mephesto?" Kenny muffled. "Isn't he that guy who always messes with God's creations?"

"Pretty much. Anyway, Psychofobris isn't one of those normal genetic disorders. It was a disorder that gave him the strength of Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator and the speed of Keanu Reeves in The Matrix, sort of."

"So you mean this guy is impossible to stop?" Stan said.

"Pretty much, unless you make the evil version of Derek drink soda. Not the good version of Derek. The evil version."

"Soda?"

"Yes, Soda."

"Why soda?"

"Well because... You know, I really don't know. But it seems to work before when Derek turned evil."

* * *

The next day.

Stan, Kenny and Kyle went to Eric's house.

Eric was on the couch and watching TV until he heard the doorbell ring.

"Hey Mom! Someone's at the door!" Eric yelled.

"I'm busy!" Liane Cartman yelled. "Can you go get it?"

"Do I have to everything around here?" Eric whispered to himself as he got off the couch and turned off the TV and went to the main door.

As he opened it, he saw Kyle, Kenny, and Stan holding water guns and water balloons, except for one thing. They were filled with soda.

"Hey! Are you going to have a water gun fight?"

"Actually were going to..."Stan said until Kyle stopped him.

"Actually yes, we were. Our objective is to shoot Derek, only if he's angry." Kyle said. "Also, you have to fill your water gun with soda."

"Why?" Eric asked.

"So you can... make the kid wet and smell like soda at the same time."

"Okay. Wait here. I'll go get my water gun and some water balloons."

Eric gone to his room to get to his water gun. As he went to get his water gun, Kyle said, "What a dumbass."

"What did you say?" Eric said from his room.

"I said, 'What a dumb ad'."

"Oh. Ads can be stupid, Kyle. We all know that."

* * *

Later at Wendy's house.

Derek and Wendy walked on the sidewalk of the suburbs of South Park. They were walking as they smiled, but Derek was just using a fake smile as he worried about his evil version of himself. As they finally made it to Wendy's house, they entered the house and saw a bunch of other girls in their pajamas.

"What's... this." Derek shook in fear.

"Oh yeah." Wendy said. "I have a slumber party today. Looks I can't study with you, now."

"Oh good, I'll just go home then." Derek said.

"You don't have to go home. You can just wait in my room, the parents room, or guests room. We can finish the project faster if we study after the slumber party."

"Well okay, but which room has no war-like toys with the weapons that can takedown soldiers, and then... destroy bases... and seeing the horrible flames that will burn those Afghan soldiers to the ground after so many months of torture and pain!" Derek almost got a little off topic there after saying a few things about his past.

"Derek? Are you all right?" Wendy asked

"Yes... I am." The calmed Derek said as he took a deep breath. I'll just wait in the guest room."

Derek went upstairs and saw a hallway of doors. He couldn't tell which was the guest room. So he took a look in each room. The first room he saw was the bathroom. He saw a part of the mirror missing, until he looked at the ground of the bathroom. He saw the broken piece of mirror and it reminded of him killing an Afghan soldier through the throat by a piece of broken glass. He quickly got out of the bathroom. He then entered the next room beside it and saw Wendy's room. It was filled with dolls, posters, and pink wallpaper, until he saw pink scissors on the desk that was shining. It reminded of him from his last school, where he bombed the whole school, by just using a lighter and oxygen tanks. He went to the next room, and then the next, and the next. Each room, contained tiny sparks of danger that scared the boy. As he got to the next room, which was the Master Bed Room. He calmed down. All he saw was Wendy's parents in bed doing it, if you know what I mean. This did not scared the boy, but instead disgusted him more than what he did to his victims. He quickly left that room and vomited on the ground. He went to the next room beside it, and saw the guest room. He entered it and decided to just lay down on the bed.

"Whew." Derek said as he was tired on the bed. He then just wanted to peacefully slept and dream.

In his dream, he dreamt of a normal day on the fields, playing football with the 4th graders which included, Kyle, Stan, Eric, and Kenny. They stopped playing for a while and decided to take a break on the field. They all were having lunch together talking about life, until one kid came towards the kids. The kid came closer to Kenny and stabbed him through the chest with a knife. It was the evil version of Derek.

"Oh my god, he killed Kenny!" The imaginary Stan said.

"You bastard." The imaginary Kyle said.

Suddenly Derek woke up on the bed.

"It was just a dream. I'm a little thirsty too." Derek said as he woke up.

The young boy in the army clothes stepped out of the guest room and down the stairs. As he got to the bottom of the stairs. He saw the girls playing witches. He also saw them holding candles. The candles reminded him of flamethrowers and explosions during the war. He just froze and his eyes started to change from blue to grey, and flat clean teeth to spiky teeth. The evil version of Derek was about to pick up his knife in his pocket, but he suddenly just shook his head and turned back to normal. He resisted his evil version of Derek. He just went to the kitchen and got a cup of water. As Derek put the cup in the sink, he saw a kitchen knife. Suddenly, he couldn't take in the psycho's lust for destruction and kill. His eyes were suddenly changing, along with his teeth and behavior.

Wendy and her friends were done playing witches. Now, they were playing truth or dare.

"Bebe. Truth or dare?" Red asked.

"How about dare?" Derek said as he emerged from the kitchen.

"Hi Derek." Some of the girls said.

"Your face looks different." Wendy said.

Evil Derek suddenly came closer as he picked his knife out of his pocket.

"What's with that knife?..."

* * *

Later, outside of Wendy's house.

Stan, Eric, Kenny, and Kyle were standing in front of Wendy's house as they carried Water guns and Water Balloons filled with Soda.

"I hope we aren't too late." Stan said.

Suddenly a scream was heard from the house.

"Shit!" Kenny muffled.

The boys entered the house, and saw the insides of the house a wreck. Everything that was once standing, and fixed was lying on the ground broken.

"Jesus Christ. Stan said. "Let's just look for the girls."

The boys went upstairs and found a hallway with broken doors. The boys walked even further until they heard a noise from the bathroom. Stan went to check first. He slowly opened the door and saw nothing. The noise was then heard behind the drapes of the tub. Stan looked behind and saw a bunch of girls hiding behind it.

"There you..." Stan said until a girl hit him multiple times with a baseball bat.

"DIE, DIE MONSTER, DIE!" One of the girls said until she realized it was just Stan.

"It's just me."

"Sorry." The girl with the baseball bat said.

"Hey Guys!" Stan said. "I've found them."

The three boys quickly entered.

"Wait a minute." Eric said. "I thought this was a soda gun fight. Not a rescue mission."

"The soda gun fight will wait, Eric." Stan said.

"Stan!" Wendy said. "Derek's gone completely mad and he brutally killed my cat."

"We tried to tell you during 4th grade. " Kyle said.

"Sorry."

"Again with the Derek and killer rumor?" Eric thought in his head.

"Apologizing will have to wait." Stan said. "Right now, we got to get you girls to safety and find..."

"Derek?" Kyle said.

"Yes Kyle, Derek."

"I didn't say that." Kyle said

"Then who did?" Kenny muffled.

"I did." Derek said as he was on the top of the room by using knifes to climb on the ceiling.

"Oh Shit!" Kenny Muffled.

Derek let go of the knifes and landed behind Kenny. Then he punched him straight through the Kenny's face all the way to the back of his head causing him to die on the ground. Eric however was still not looking as he dropped his cool marble

"Oh my god, he killed Kenny!" Stan said.

"You bastards." Kyle said.

"What the hell are you doing guys?" Wendy said. "Let's get out of here."

All of the boys and girls ran away from Derek. The girls made it outside of the house, but the boys stayed as they need to capture him, before he can cause even more destruction in the whole town. The three boys stood in the middle of the living room, waiting for Derek to reappear.

"Where the hell is Derek?" Kyle said. "I was supposed to my project an hour ago."

"Shut up Kyle. This is not the time." Eric said.

"Thanks Eric. Now..." Stan said

"I mean think about it. We are going against a nerd that is hiding somewhere in this living room. Where could he be now?"

"Right here." Derek said as his hand broke through the floor and captured Kyle's foot.

"He's in the basement!" Stan said.

Later, his whole body broke through the whole floor. He was now standing in the living room with a grenade in his hand.

"Hey kid!" Eric said. "Were playing a soda fight. Not a real war here. So throw away the grenade and play fair."

"Hey Cartman." Kyle said. "One. Haven't you realize he's trying to kill us. Two. Were using the soda to shoot at his mouth. And three. You never play fair."

"Okay Kyle. I don't believe you, because you're a Jew and that Derek's a nerd." Eric said. "Give me a good reason why he's trying to kill us."

"He's holding a damn grenade." Kyle yelled.

"Oh, I see. Wait? He's trying to kill us? HE'S TRYING TO KILL US?"

"What the heck is wrong with him?" Evil Derek asked.

"No one knows." Stan said.

"HE'S TRYING TO KILL US!" Eric said repeatedly.

Eric annoyed the evil version of Derek which cause the psycho to throw the grenade at the fat boy. The fat boy looked at the grenade and said, "He really is trying to kill us."

Suddenly the grenade exploded and the three boys barely escaped it. The three boys got up from the ground and started shooting at the killer, but he managed to dodge them all. Not one touch of the soda manage to hit the psycho brat. The boys tried to shoot again, but there was no soda left.

"Heh heh." Evil Derek laughed with a grin.

"Do we have a plan B?" Kyle asked.

"Yes Kyle we do. RUN!" Stan yelled.

The three boys tried to ran away from the evil psycho, but they were at a dead-end in the corners of the living room. Evil Derek pulled out his knife and grinned even more. As he came closer he heard a voice.

"Hey Derek." Wendy said as she was holding a water balloon filled with soda. "Take this you evil psychotic bastard."

Wendy through the water balloon which popped as Derek poked it with the knife. There was just one error for Derek. Soda was everywhere as it popped. Including on Derek and the insides of his mouth. He suddenly turned back to normal and noticed that the whole house was a wreck.

"You did it Wendy!" Stan said.

"What happened?" Derek said.

"Well you..." Kyle said until one of the girls, Red, came in with a bat and started beating the shit out of Derek.

Each hit caused him to go normal to evil to normal to evil to normal and on and on. It was like a pattern for every hit Derek took. Suddenly Derek fell down to the ground unconscious.

"Stop! Birtha." Kyle said. "He becomes a killer if he hears, feels, or sees anything that painful, war-like, or destructive and drinks soda."

"Oh..." Red said.

* * *

A few hours later.

The police arrived along with the ambulance outside of Wendy's house.

"So what will you do with him, officer." Stan said.

"We can't arrest him." Officer Yates said.

"What! Why not?" Kyle said as he came into the conversation.

"There's this new law, that we can't arrest anyone who has PTSD because the people who commit crimes did it because of an disorder."

"But what if he goes crazy again?" Stan asked.

"Spray him with some soda." Officer Yates handed Stan a can spray of soda.

The police and ambulance left and Wendy walked over to the two boys.

"Stan, I'm sorry I didn't believe you." Wendy said.

"It's okay Wendy."

"No really, I'm sorry. I should've believe you that Derek is a psycho, even though his good side is romantic, nice, actually listens to what I say, and he's strong as Arnold Schwarzenegger, and fast as Keanu Reeves, and not only that he's..."

"Wendy. Will you stop talking about him. I'm the one who save your life. Not him."

"Actually I saved your life, Stan."

"Heh." Eric said as he entered the conversation. "You got saved by a girl."

"You too fatass."

"Well, at least... shut up." Eric said as he walked away.


	8. Campfire of Fear

READ THIS: Any characters who die in this story will still return in South Park Misadventures. Campfire of Fear is more of a spinoff and doesn't follow any of the stories of South Park Misadventures. An example would be, if Clyde was killed in Campfire of Fear, he would still return alive in the other stories. It's kind of like Happy Tree Friends or Tree house of Horror episode.

* * *

Stan, Kyle, Eric, and Kenny were camping in the woods with their dads, except for Eric who killed his own dad. The season was fall, and it was night time for these nine-year old boys. They were sitting around the campfire with their dads telling ghost stories.

"Eric, your story sucks." Kyle said. "Who the heck would want to have Rosie O'Donell for an arm?"

"Yeah Cartman. You suck at telling scary stories!" Stan said. "I could tell a better scary story than that piece of shit."

"Oh yeah, Stan. Tell us one." Eric yelled.

"Boys, boys." Randy said. "Don't you think we told enough stories already? It's late."

" I didn't get to tell a scary story." Stan said.

"Me too." Kenny said.

"I didn't either." Kyle said. "Eric has been hogging all the time for stories."

"Fine. Each of you will get to tell a story, even Eric will." Gerald said.

"What!" Kyle said.

"It's to be fair, Kyle."

"Fine. Anyway Stan. What's your story?"

"My story is called, Death's Destination." Stan said as he laughed with an evil grin.

"That sounds gay." Eric said.

* * *

Death's Destination (Spoof of Final Destination)

Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Eric were waiting in line in the Airport along with the 4th grade class. It was an expensive field trip to London, to study about Britain's history and rivalry with America. Pip ran to the four kids in line with joy.

"Pip!" Eric yelled. "What the hell are you so happy for?"

"Were going to my home place!" Pip said. "I wonder if my girlfriend is still there?"

"Yeah right. A girl friend." Stan said.

"No really. I have a girl friend."

"I see. You have a British girl friend. She's probably lame as you."

"No she isn't. She's a beautiful lady that's..."

"Whatever Pip. Just get on the plane." Eric said.

* * *

Later inside the Airplane.

The four kids along with the other 4th graders were inside the airplane watching TV or listening to music. As the plane took off, Stan heard strange sounds in the front.

"What the heck is that?" Stan said as he buckled his seat belt.

"Must be nothing." Eric said as he also buckled his seat belt.

As the airplane was flying in the air, the noise suddenly got bigger. Suddenly the plane was ripping into pieces and people were falling off the plane.

"What the heck is going on here? M'Kay." Mr. Mackey said as he tried to unlock his seat belt. Instead a part of the plane broke off along with Mr. Mackey.

Suddenly an explosion was heard on the front of the plane, and after that, the whole plane was engulfed in flames. The next minute, nothing really happened. Stan just stood in his seat, seeing that everything is normal.

"We have to get out of here! The plane's going to explode!" Stan said as he unbuckled his seat belt and ran towards the airport.

"Stan!" Mr. Garrison said. " Come back here!"

"I'll go get him!" Kyle said as he unbuckled his seat belt.

"Me too." Kenny said as he also unbuckled his seatbelt.

"What's wrong with him?" Wendy said on the left side of the Airplane. "I'll follow him."

"Fine." Bebe said. "I guess I'll follow Stan too."

"This is getting interesting." Eric thought as he unbuckled his seatbelt.

Kyle, Kenny, Eric, Mr. Garrison, Wendy, and Bebe got out of their seats and followed Stan which led them out of the Airplane and towards the Airport. Some of the people in the group were mad, because the airplane was going to leave. As they entered the airport, they saw Stan sitting on the benches of the Airport.

"Hey! You scrawny little piece of shit!" Mr. Garrison said. "If I miss that airplane then..."

Suddenly the airplane that took off exploded.

The 4th graders and Mr. Garrison saw the Airplane falling into the rivers of South Park.

"You know Stan." Mr. Garrison said. "Forget what I said. What's important, is that my life was saved. Not any of those less important 4th graders. They would all be janitors by the time there eighteen."

"Stan!" Wendy said. "How did you know the plane was going to crash?"

"I just saw it." Stan said. "The airplane just exploded in front of my eyes. It was a vision of the future."

"Really?" Eric said. "Thanks Stan. That annoying asshole, Pip is finally dead!"  
"Dude!" Kyle said. "Your other friends are dead to you know."

"So?"  
"What a fatass."

* * *

The next day at South Park.

Stan was walking on the streets in a bright morning in South Park, except that he was seeing visions of people's deaths.

"Hey, little boy?"Tuong Lu Kim said as he was on the sidewalk near his restaurant. "Can you help me with these ads?"

"Sure!" Stan said as he went to the Chinese man to pick up the ads.

The Chinese man gave Stan some ads, until a vision came to his eyes. The ads were suddenly blown onto the Chinese man's face. Suddenly he walked into the middle of the road and get hit by a car. His vision soon faded away.

"What's wrong with you, boy?" Tuong Lu Kim asked. "Are you retarded or something?"

Suddenly the ads were blown by the wind and onto the Chinese man's face.

"Hey! Get these ads out of my face! Hey,... trip to Disney land! Not bad deal. Nine dollars for the newest vacuum cleaner? Not a bad deal also" Tuong Lu Kim read the ads on his face.

Suddenly the Chinese man walked backwards on the road and got hit by a car.

"Shit!" Stan said.

* * *

Later, outside of the Church.

Stan was walking by the Church, until he saw priest Maxi building a new sign in front of the church.

"Hey Stan." Priest Maxi said. "Can you get my tools in the toolbox?"

"Sure, I guess so." Stan said as he picked up the toolbox.

Stan walked to Priest Max with the tool box. Suddenly he had another vision. It showed Priest Maxi being on fire and burned to dust. After the vision, Stan accidently dropped Maxi's toolbox causing a flame gun to fall in to the snow. Suddenly it was turned on and Maxi's clothes were on fire. Then his body was on fire. After that, he was just burnt to dust.

"Why is this happening to me?" Stan said as he walked further into the town.

Suddenly he touched the mall and had another vision. It showed the mall bankrupt and destroyed by a bulldozer.

"Strange. I didn't have to see that."

* * *

The next day at school, in the cafeteria.

The four kids walked into the cafeteria, seeing only a few of the 4th graders eating lunch. They were mostly, the survivors and the ones who choose not to go to the field trip. They went to the other room of the cafeteria where they saw Robot Chef slowly cooking meals.

"I wish the original Chef was here." Stan said.

"We all miss him." Kyle said.

"HEY!... I CAN... BEEP! FIX YOU PROBLEMS BEEP! TOO." Robot Chef said.

"Really?" Stan said. "Well... I've been having visions of people's deaths and a mall which is going to be destroyed. I don't understand why is this happening to me."

"I SEE WHY. A FEW BEEP! PEOPLE HAD THIS BEFORE." Robot Chef said. "THE GRIM REAPER IS CAUSING THERE DEATHS YOU KNOW. NOT ONLY THAT... YOU CHEATED DEATH, NOW HE WANTS YOUR HEAD... I SUGGEST YOU TRY TO FIND HIM AND KNOCK HIS SKULL OUT!"

"You really are smart, Robot Chef." Stan said. "Let's search for Death, before he kills us, guys."

"Yeah!" Eric said.

Mr. Garrison came into the cafeteria room and saw Robot Chef.

"Hey Robot Chef." Mr. Garrison said.

"WHAT... BEEP!" Robot Chef said.

"Have you been making out with my sharpener again? I noticed a lot of oil inside of it."

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU..."

Suddenly the Robot Chef exploded with Mr. Garrison on fire. Mr. Garrison was running around in the cafeteria where the other kids were having lunch. Mr. Garrison then touched other kids, including Wendy and Bebe, as he was running around in the cafeteria and cause the young boys and girl to be on fire. After that, they were dead.

"Maybe we should discuss our problem at home." Stan said as he and his three friends saw the burning of children in the cafeteria.

* * *

Later at Stan's house at night.

Stan was brushing his teeth in the bathroom looking at the clear mirror.

"Hey Stan!" Sharon said from the living room. "Your friends are here!"

"Okay." Stan said as he finishes brushing his teeth and laying his tooth brush beside the sink. "Where's the floss?"

Stan saw the floss on the faucet of the tub. He wondered how did it got there and walked to the tub until he slipped on water. Then he felled into the tub and was choked by the floss that mysteriously moved.

"Hey Stan?" Kyle said as he and the other boys entered the bathroom

Kyle, Kenny, and Eric came and saw Stan being choked by the floss and they quickly removed the floss.

"That was a close one." Kyle said.

Suddenly a door bell was heard on the bottom floor.

"Who's that?" Stan said.

"Don't worry kids!" Randy said. "I'll go get it."

The boys ran to the front room of the house on the 1st floor. As Randy opens the door, he saw a man holding a scythe and covered in a black robe.

"Sharon!" Randy said. "Did you call the Christians again? Anyway who are you?"

"I'm Death." Grim said.

"Never mind Sharon. It's just Death. Anyway, why are you here?"

"I'm here for the boys over there. I'm sick and tired of secretly trying to kill them all the time."

"Who is it Randy?" Sharon said as he walked into the front room.

"It's Death. He wants to kill our son, and his friends."

"What?"

"Don't worry Sharon. Anyway, Mr. Death. You can't have our son's lives."

"Would you rather have me take your life?" Death asked.

"Um... Go ahead... kill the young boys."

"Dude!" Stan said.

"And I thought I was cruel." Death said as he entered the house.

"Stan! Run!" Sharon yelled.

The four boys ran to the kitchen and out of the house through a window as Death chased them. The boys and Death ran through malls, shops, and alleys. Then they were back at the start, which is Stan's house.

"I can't... keep on running..." Eric said as they were all stuck at a corner of the living room.

"Come on fatass." Kyle said as he tried to help Eric

The boys tried to run, but Death threw his scythe at Kenny's head. Kenny then felled to the ground decapitated with blood oozing out of his head.

"Oh my god, you killed Kenny.!" Stan yelled.

"You bastard!" Kyle yelled.

"Now it's your turn." Death said.

"Oh no it's not." Randy said as he hit Death in the head with a hammer.

Suddenly Death felled to the ground as a pile of bones and a thin sheet of black of robes.

"That was a close one." Stan said.

"But that's also a bad and yet a good thing." Kyle said.

"What do you mean?" Eric asked.

"That means the world will never have death."

"I know what you mean." Kenny said as the scythe is still in his head.

* * *

Later, at the old folks home.

Grandpa Marsh was trying to suicide himself by choking himself with a rope on the ceiling. Only thing, the world has no death.

"Strange. I'm sure I did it right this time." Grandpa Marsh said.

"Hey! Will you untie yourself." A women said. "You look like a old run over sandwich from here."

* * *

Meanwhile at an alley.

The police was in front of one of the gangsters of the South Park Mafia name African Feraz.

"Okay Feraz, you got nowhere to go." Officer Yates said. "Shoot him!"

The policeman shot the man altogether but he remained alive.

"Dammit Feraz. Why are you still alive?"

"I better call my wife, that I'll be late for our anniversary together." Feraz said.

Feraz picked up his cell phone as he got shot by the police.

* * *

Meanwhile at the streets of South Park.

Derek was walking on the sidewalk until he saw Jimbo's gun shop. He suddenly turn mad and pulled out his knife and follow towards Butters.

"Oh shit. You gone crazy again." Butters said as he tries to escape.

Instead he got poked through the chest by the knife. Only thing is, Butters is not dead as there is no more Death.

"Thank you God." Butters said as the knife is still in his chest. "Better call my parents, about this miracle."

"What the hell?" Evil Derek said. "I'm bored already with killing. I wonder what shopping is like?"

* * *

Later at a building on fire.

Many people who got out were on fire, but not dead and didn't feel any pain.

"Were not on fire or dead!" A man said as he pulled out a cigarette and light it by using the fire on his back.

Later at Stan's house.

* * *

"Looks like anyone won't die in this world." Stan said.

"Does that mean, that Family Guy won't be cancelled for the third time?" Eric asked.

"Pretty much." Kyle said.

"NOOO!" Eric yelled in horror.

Suddenly the police came outside of the door.

"Come with your hands out, Death!" Officer Yates yelled.

Randy came out of the door and saying, "Everything is alright officer."

* * *

A few minutes later.

"So Death is already gone?" Officer Yates asked. "Dammit. We were going to arrest him for making out with a slut illegally."

"What about the killings?" Kyle asked.

"He's the Grim Reaper. That's his job."

"Oh, but how can a skeleton make out with a slut?"

"That's easy." Randy said. "All you got to do is..."

* * *

After the story at the campfire.

"And that's my story." Stan said.

"That story wasn't scary at all." Kyle said.

"I agree too." Kenny said.

"What? Dad. Is my story scary?" Stan asked.

"Um... no... there's really nothing scary about that..." Randy said as he shook in fear.

"See." Eric said. "Your story is not scary. Even you father admits it. I got a sci-fi, horror, action-packed story that will blow your brains off."

"Yeah right Cartman." Kyle said. "Your stories are the worst."

"No they aren't. They just need a little more improvement. My story is called, I Am..."

"Fat." Kenny laughed along with Kyle and Stan.

"Shut up you poor son of a bitch."

"Hey!" Stuart McCormick said. "That's my wife you're talking about."

"Anyway..."

* * *

I Am Fatass (Spoof of I Am Legend)

Eric, Kenny, Stan, and Kyle were sitting on the couch watching the news on TV.

"And so that is how Dr. Mephesto managed to create a Ten-Ass turkey." The news reporter said. "Anyway, rumors have it that Kim-Jong Il plans to bomb parts of America. Yet, we do not know if this is true."

"North Koreans." Eric said. "When will Communist ever learn?"

"Boys." Randy said. "I have to go to work. Can you go buy a bomb shelter when I'm gone?"

"Sure Dad." Stan said.

Randy left the house.

"Okay Eric, go get the bomb shelter." Stan said.

"What?" Eric said. "Why can't Kyle and Kenny do it?"

"Because Kyle and Kenny happens to do more work than you. Now go get it."

"Fine, but you better record the new Terrance and Phillip episode."

"Yeah, yeah." Stan said.

"I hate you guys."

* * *

Later at the back of Jimbo's shop

The back of Jimbo's shop, was filled with Bomb Shelters, Missiles, and even flamethrowers. Anyway, Eric, Mr. Kitty and Jimbo walked to one of the Bomb Shelters.

"Okay Eric. Here's a nice Bomb Shelter." Jimbo said. "This bomb shelter can protect you from time bombs, hydro bombs, and even nuclear bombs, 'Little boy' and 'Fatman', in World War II."

"Awesome." Eric said. "Wait a minute. Are you calling me a fat man?"

"No. The nuclear bomb that destroyed Nagasaki, is really called 'Fatman'."

"Oh. I guess so. Can I have a look here."

"Sure."

* * *

Meanwhile at the Pentagon.

"Looks like we have no choice." Obama said. "Were going to have to bomb a few towns to prevent overpopulation."

"Are you sure sir?" A man said. "Think about it. Your destroying American lives here. People will find out, even if it is covered by the fake story of Kim Jong Il."

"Hey. Who's the president here? Is it you? No. It's me. Anyway, other countries are even doing it. Will have to bomb towns that people don't notice well. Like South Park for an example."

The US president pressed a red button that says "NUCLEAR WEAPON LAUNCH".

Suddenly, large sounds came from the insides of the Pentagon. Nuclear Missiles were coming out of the Pentagon and into the sky.

* * *

Later, at South Park.

The citizens of South Park saw a shining object in the sky. A few seconds later, people noticed it was a nuclear missile. The nuclear missile touched the grounds of South Park causing an explosion that engulfed South Park.

Later behind Jimbo's Shop.

Eric Cartman and his cat stepped out alive from the bomb shelter.

"Not bad, Jimbo." Eric said as he looked at Jimbo's skeleton still dressed in his hunting clothes, yet didn't even notice he's dead. "I'll take it."

Eric put a few bucks on Jimbo's hand and walked out of Jimbo's store. He walked on the silent streets and saw a bunch of skeleton's in clothes. Yet, he still didn't notice that, even if he did see them.

"Strange?" Eric said. "What's wrong with all of you?"

As Eric walked further he saw a crashed missile in the center of South Park, and was surprised.

"Cool. A missile, I wonder why there's a missile here... Wait a minute."

Eric looked at the town and finally realizing that everyone is dead.

"This must be some kind of dream. Yes, a dream. Oh shit, who the heck am I kidding. Everyone's dead! My families dead, Stan's dead, Kenny's dead. I even miss the stupid Jew. Now I can't rip off or make fun of anyone, anymore." Eric cried.

"Wait! I'm the only one here. I could do anything I want. Isn't that right Mr. Kitty?"

"Meow." Mr. Kitty said.

* * *

Later at a decent restaurant.

Eric was eating fast at a restaurant. He munched on pizza, hotdogs, steak, and other junk food he could find.

"Meow." Mr. Kitty said as he stared at Eric.

"No Mr. Kitty! This is my food. Go get your own." Eric said.

"Meow."

"No Mr. Kitty!"

"HESS" Mr. Kitty said angrily.

* * *

Later at the Bowling Center.

Eric Cartman was playing bowling ball with a bunch of dead people.

"My turn." Eric said.

Eric picked up a skull of a dead person and rolled it to the bowling pins. He knocked it all and got a strike.

"Your turn Clyde."

Eric stared at Clyde's skeleton.

"Hurry up Clyde! I guess I'll have to do your turn, again."

Eric picked up a skull and threw it at the bowling pins.

"Okay your turn Token."

* * *

Later at the Rolling Coaster.

Eric was riding on the Rolling Coaster that had a bunch of dead skeleton's on.

"Isn't this fun, Jimmy." Eric said to Jimmy's skeleton. "Silent, huh, just like everyone else."

* * *

Later in the dead streets of South Park.

Eric was walking on the sidewalk. Suddenly, Eric saw Mr. Kitty running to a building that was really dark.

"Hey, Mr. Kitty. Come back!" Eric said as he entered the building.

As he entered the building, he heard a swift noise from somewhere. Eric turned on his light and heard meow sounds. He follow the cat sounds and ended up looking at a desk, but the sounds were under the desk. He looked under and saw a scared cat shaking.

"Don't worry Mr. Kitty. I'll get you out of here." Eric said, until he heard the swift noise.

The cat followed him as Eric walked away from the desk. Suddenly as Eric's flash light switches to a different location, he sees a human-like monster chasing him. Suddenly Eric turned around and saw a window in front of him. He then broke through the window along with the cat, and the monster and felled onto a broken car.

"Ow... fuck this... life... in... South... Park..." Eric said as he got up.

As he got up from the car. He saw the monster. It was a human, but with cold-skin, yellow teeth, wore dirty clothes, and horrible-looking eyes. Not only that, the monster was Scott Tenorman, the head ginger.

"Scott Tenorman? Ew." Eric said.

* * *

Later at Eric's house.

Eric had the dead body under his basement. He was studying it, to understand more about it.

"Hmm..." Eric said. "It seems that Scott Tenorman is weak against light, very ugly, similar to a vampire, and has cancer in his ass."

"I see." Mr. Kitty said.

"You're talking?" Eric said. "I'm probably crazy, because I'm alone."

"Meow?"

"Now to get some X-Ray pictures... Wait a minute? Why the hell am I studying? I'm really am going insane. I better play some video games at the mall."

* * *

Later at the mall at night.

Cartman was playing Bioshock 2 with a very large TV in the electronics room. As he continuously played for four hours, someone picked up the remote and turned off the TV.

"Okay, who the hell turned off the..." Eric said until he realized something. "That can't be. I'm the only real human alive, unless..."

"Yes, Cartman." Mr. Mephesto said with a group of other people. "You weren't the only one who survived. Some on us mutated into ugly mutants that can still talk."

"Oh thank god. I thought it was a hippie of some sort. Anyway who are you?"

"I just said we are mutants."

Eric saw the mutants still in their original clothes, yet dirty and pale. The group of mutants were Prof. Mephesto, Mr. Garrison, Mr. Slave, Mr. Mackey, Police Officer Barbradi, Priest Maxi, Tuong Li Kim, Carl Denkins, and even Towlie.

"You want to get high?" Towlie said.

"Towlie? You don't look like a mutant?" Eric said.

"Duh. I'm not a mutant, but I find out that towels can join the club, even if there not mutated." Towlie said.

"If you join us now, Eric, then you get free tickets to the Denver Broncos this weekend." Mr. Garrison said.

"Really? That's a great deal... wait a minute. Are you trying to trick me, so you can kill me?" Eric asked.

"Um.. No." Mr. Slave said.

"Well... sorry. I don't want to be in your club."

"Then we have no choice, but to kill you... M'kay." Mr. Mackey said.

"Fine. Me and Mr. Kitty will survive your... Where's Mr. Kitty?"

"Right here Eric." Mr. Mephesto said.

Mr. Kitty turned into a mutant and had tickets to the Bronco's in his mouth.

"You traitor!" Eric said.

"Come on Eric. Join the dark side." Mr. Garrison said.

"No!"

Eric ran away from the mutants as fast as he can. The mutants tried to chase him, but Eric managed to hide somewhere they can't find him. Jimbo's shop. Eric was a bit tired until he saw a variety of weapons that can take down the mutants. He then found a rocket launcher.

* * *

Meanwhile where the mutants are.

"Where the hell could that asshole be?" Mr. Garrison said.

"Hey, Mutants!" Eric yelled beside Mr. Jimbo's shop. "Say hello to my little friend."

Eric pulled out an RPG and shot the group of mutants dead. Suddenly they burst into blood and gore.

"Well that's the end to that." Eric said.

Suddenly another mutant appeared from the darkness. It was a kid.

"Hah. Another mutant. I still have one more RPG left." Eric said as he point the weapon towards the kid.

As he released the missile, the missile suddenly misfired as it touched the kid's hands. The kid appeared from the shadows, revealing to be Derek, the kid with psycho issues. Derek threw his throwing knife and Eric dodged it.

"Hah! Is that all you got." Eric said until he noticed his hand was cut off. "Never mind."

Eric ran through Jimbo's store, looking for a weapons to replace his hand. Derek went further to Jimbo's store, until Eric appeared with a chainsaw that replaced his hand.  
"Man, I'm like that one guy who appeared in 'Army of Darkness'." Eric said with a smile as he got outside. "Bring it on, zombie soldier, or freaks, or mutant, or whatever the hell you are."

Evil Mutant Derek smile as he picked up a machete on the ground.

"Oh, that's so scary." Eric said sarcastically. "Well, guess what! I have a chainsaw, and you have a small machete. What are you going to do? Give me a little cut, while I decapitate you."

"This guy is so annoying." Evil Mutant Derek thought.

It was a battle between a fatass and a psychotic killer who's actually been in war.

"What's next you're going to..."

Suddenly Eric was almost hit by a machete. He looked at Derek who even had more knives, daggers, and swords.

"Shit!" Eric said.

Derek through all the knives he had to Eric.

"Hah!" Eric said with a smile, until he realized he actually have been hit by all the knives. "Well... I'm still not dead! So there."

"You haven't even done anything, yet?" Evil Mutant Derek said. "You're not even worth to kill. Your just a fat ass."

"What!" Eric said. "I've actually fed parents to a young teenager."

"Prove it."

"FINE!"

Eric started his chainsaw and ran towards Derek, the fight was about to start, until the sun appeared. Derek was suddenly dying as the sun burned him to death.

"SHIT,SHIT!" Eric said. "Now how can I prove it to this asshole?"

* * *

After the story at the campfire.

"That story was lame Cartman." Kyle said. "Who the heck wants to hear a competition at the end of the story. Plus, this sounds like only half of the story."

"No." Eric said. "This is the full story."

"Whatever." Stan said. "Does anyone else has a story?"

"I do!" Kyle said.

"Oh great, a Jew is telling a story." Eric said.

"Hey!" Gerald said.

"I'm just saying."

* * *

Kyle's New Pet Lizard, Kingzilla (Spoof of Godzilla)

At New Mexico, in the middle of a desert.

Scientist were trying to mutate a lizard to a weapon. They decided to use nuclear weapons again, in the same place they tested the nuclear bomb. As the nuclear bomb was hit to the grounds of a desert and released a mushroom cloud. Nothing happened to the lizard, yet somehow alive. After a while, the lizard was thrown away as a failed experiment into Colorado.

* * *

Later at South Park.

Kyle was walking onto the streets after noticing that Stan, Eric, and Kenny had pets. He decided that he should also have a pet as he entered the pet store. He saw a variety of pets, but decided to get something different than a dog, cat, or a normal animal. As he looked through, he saw a strange looking lizard in a cage.

"I see your looking at this lizard." The Pet Store Owner said.

"Hey! Aren't you that guy that once own the Indian Burial Ground Pet Store?" Kyle asked.

"Pretty much." The Pet Store Owner said. "Anyway, I got more better rare, nice, trained, and cleaner pets. What do you want little boy?"

"This lizard looks nice."

"I see. I just found that lizard yesterday. I don't know what type of lizard it is, but if you're paying than I'm accepting for just fifty dollars."

"Here you go sir." Kyle handed the man fifty dollars as the man gave him the pet.

Kyle stepped outside with the lizard in the cage. As he walked to home, the lizard looked a bit different and already a bit bigger as a dictionary.

"What do I call you?" Kyle said. "Maybe I call you King after Stephen King, that horror novelist."

The lizard smiled at Kyle as their friendship start. As Kyle enter the house, his parents saw him with a lizard. They said he could have a pet, but they did not expect a lizard.

"Uh Kyle... What is that?" Sheila asked.

"It's my pet lizard, King." Kyle answered.

"Kyle. We said that you can have a pet, but we didn't expect a lizard." Gerald said.

"Can I just keep him. I think that King already likes me."

"Well... okay, but you have to do all the work with the pet. Not us, Ike, your friends. Just you, okay?"

"Okay dad."

* * *

The next few weeks.

Kyle entered the classroom on show and tell day, with his lizard.

"Okay Timmy, enough with talk about your retarded book of the difference between weight and mass. I mean, who wants to hear about that retarded book." Mr. Garrison said. "Next is Kyle."

Kyle came to the front of the classroom and revealed his lizard that was in a glass box. The lizard was still the same size, but now had an odd appearance. This amazed the class, except for Eric of course.

"My show and tell is about my pet lizard, King." Kyle said. "He is a friendly lizard who changes appearance everyday and..."

Clyde raised his hand up.

"Yes Clyde?"

"What kind of lizard is it?" Clyde asked.

"I looked it up in the internet, books, and newspapers, but I couldn't find anything about it. I'm really not sure what type of lizard it is."

"You're lying." Eric said.

"Eric shut up." Mr. Garrison said. "I was going to give Kyle a C for not telling us what kind of lizard it was. But for doing that, Kyle will get an A."

"Oh you got to be kidding me!"

"That's it! Everyone gets an A immediately, except you Eric!"

"I'll shut up now."

* * *

Later in the hallway.

Kyle put the lizard in the glass box down on the floor as he organized his locker. Eric silently took the lizard in the glass box, as Kyle organized his locker. This was revenge for every kid getting an A+ except him. As Cartman enters the bathroom, he throws the lizard into a toilet and flushes it. Kyle enters the bathroom as he searches for his missing lizard until he saw Cartman.

"Hey Cartman. Have you seen my lizard?" Kyle asked.

"Yes I have. He's just been flushed a minute ago." Cartman laughed.

"What!" Kyle said in surprised as he ran to the toilet that finished flushing. "You terrible... bastard."

"That's revenge for show and tell, you jerk."

Suddenly Kyle gripped Eric by the shirt angrily.

"You freaking not-caring asshole." Kyle yelled. "I should flush you in the toilet."

"Okay, Kyle. Your being a little too hard on yourself."

"HARD! You flushed my lizard!" Kyle punched Eric in the face five times.

* * *

The next day at the piers of South Park.

Kyle was discussing his problem with Stan and Kenny.

"And that's what happened." Kyle said.

"That fat asshole." Kenny muffled.

"What's the point?" Stan said. "He never learns his lesson. We might as well give up."

"What! We should teach him a lesson right now!" Kyle yelled as Kenny agreed with him.

"Well... I guess so." Stan said.

Suddenly a large wave of water hit the pier.

"What was that?" Kenny muffled.

Suddenly a large monster appeared from the lake with scaly skin, spikes on its back, and yellow carnivorous teeth. It was a huge lizard.

"Oh shit!" Stan said.

"RUN!" Kenny muffled.

The 4th graders tried to run away, but the huge lizard managed to capture one of them. It was Kyle who was in the lizard's hand.

"Oh no. Kyle's going to die!" Stan said.

"Oh finally. Some other important character is finally going to die." Kenny said.

"Dude!"

"Sorry."

The monster was about to open its mouth, until he noticed a smell from the young Jew. He sniffed the young boy and put him on the ground nicely.

"Dude!" Stan said. "I think it likes you."

"Wait a minute!" Kyle said. "King! Is that you?"

"King?" Kenny said. "King is really small. How the heck can that be King?"

"Well, he slowly grew and changed appearances."

The huge lizard licked Kyle's face.

"Eww!" Kyle said in disgust.

"Hey I just got an idea to teach Cartman a lesson!" Stan said.

Suddenly the boys were staring at the huge lizard.

* * *

The next day.

The boys, along with Cartman, were walking to the pier.

"So where's the food?" Eric said

"You are the food, Eric." Kyle said.

"What the heck does that supposed to mean?"

Suddenly the huge lizard appeared out of nowhere from the waters, in front of Cartman's eyes.

"Whatever. I've seen worst monsters than that."

King tried to attack Eric, but he managed to runaway, even if he is fat. This caused parts of the pier to be destroyed

"I hope that teaches him a lesson." Stan said.

* * *

Later at a laboratory in New Mexico.

"Hey Farold!" A scientist said. "We just received a call that a nine-year old boy, named Eric Cartman was attacked by a huge lizard. That failed lizard we were testing on is probably a success."

"But wait." Farold said. "That lizard in a town, isn't it?"

"Yep."

"Jesus god. Looks like we have to destroy it quickly before it attacks more US citizens."

* * *

Later at South Park

Kyle and King was taking a walk on the sidewalk, only one thing. King was taking a bit too much space as he was walking in South Park. King was stepping on cars and buildings as Kyle was walking with him. People were screaming as King was walking in South Park.

"Hey, look everybody. It's Godzilla!" Randy said as he was pointing at the lizard.

Later at a grocery store.

"Hey, Stuart McCormick." A clerk said. "Here's your pay check."

"Finally. I get my first paycheck on my new job." Stuart said.

Suddenly King stepped on him dead.

"Oh my god, he killed Stuart." Randy yelled.

"You bastard!" Gerald yelled.

"Does this seem familiar, Randy?" Gerald asked.

"Somehow, yes..."

As King walks on the town he steps on Mr. Garrison on the ground.

* * *

Later at Kyle's house.

Kyle and Gerald was dragging a huge piece of whale meat to King.

"Here you go King..." Kyle said tiredly. "One fresh whale meat that just washed up on the beach."

King opened his meat and immediately swallowed the meat.

"I don't know if I can keep this up." Gerald said. "I mean, King is huge!"

"So?" Kyle asked.

"The lizard took a walk that just killed Stuart and he needs gigantic sizes of foods. We're going to have to let him go."

"But!"

"No, Kyle, no. He needs to be free into the lake."

"Fine..."

* * *

Later at the lakes of South Park.

Kyle, Stan, Eric, Kenny, Gerald, and Randy were sitting by the huge lizard near the lake. Kyle let go of King's huge leash and into the lakes. Suddenly, a bunch of cars and other kinds of vehicles came. They were the government.

"What the heck are they doing here?" Gerald said.

A couple of people in black suits came to the kids, Gerald, and Randy.

"We had information that a monstrous lizard is somewhere here?" One of the men said.

"Actually yes." Gerald said. "We just released him into the lake a while ago."

"Are you mad man!" Another man said. "That lizard caused destruction in some mountain town. We need to kill it right now."

"Just stop it men." Farold said as he came into the group. "Just bombed the lake. The lizard couldn't be that far."

"What!" Kyle yelled. "He's my best friend!"

"What?" Stan said.

"Well my third best friend."

"Sorry kid, but we have to do what's right." Farold said.

Suddenly planes came and bombed the lake quickly. King appeared in pain in the lake. A bit later, the lizard died.

* * *

Later at Kyle's house.

Kyle walked into the backyard of his house in sorrow. As he walked further, he saw a nest of eggs. "King is a she?"

3 hours later.

Suddenly everyone had a pet lizard. Stan walked to Kyle's house and knocked on the door. Kyle opened it and saw Stan at the door.

"Dude, these pets are awesome." Stan said. "You know what we should do."

"What?" Kyle said.

"We should plan a second holocaust because Jews can't make good stories." Eric interrupted during Kyle's Story.

* * *

"Eric!" Stan said after the story near the campfire. "Your stories are far more worst than anyone else's."

"Well, Kenny can tell better stories than you guys."

"He got us there dude." Kyle said.

"Here's my story." Kenny muffled.

* * *

Mrph Mrph Mer Mer Mrph! (Chucky Spoof)

Eric Cartman, Kyle, and Stan were sitting on the couch watching "Terrance & Philip: Rape my Ass." "Hey guys are you coming to my 9th birthday party?" Kenny muffled. They all agreed except for Cartman.

"Screw you Kenny, said Cartman. My mom has the best parties, like that Ferris wheel she bought and the badass presents." Eric said.

"Whatever, because there's going to be shit loads of cheesy poofs and a huge rollercoaster," Kenny muffled.

"Godammit you poor asshole, you got me on cheese poofs!" Cartman shouted.

"Dude, if Kenny's parents are throwing an awesome party for Kenny, how are they gonna get the money to buy Cheesy Poofs and the rollercoaster?" Stan asked.

"Well Stan, that is a very good question because Kenny's parents are so poor, they run after a garbage truck with a shopping list, the rainbows near their yard are black and white, people rob their house for practice, and your mom begs for money from the people who beg for money."

Kenny, Stan, and Kyle, ignored Cartman and all agreed to go to the birthday party. They then stepped outside to the fresh air.

"Hey guys wait for me!" shouted Cartman.

* * *

On the day of March 22nd, it was Kenny's birthday. Cartman and Stan were walking after school and went to go to Kenny's house.

"You know I wonder what Kenny's birthday will be like since him and his family is poor." Stan said. When Stan went to his house, everything changed. It was like a mansion as if they just found the place.

"Kenny, how did you managed to buy all this stuff?" Stan asked.

"I won a 1 million dollar lottery! Not only that, I also won a video contest and if you win you get to have tickets to the band "Linkin Park" and you can win 25,000 dollars." Kenny muffled.

"Well then, where did you get the camera to make the video for the contest?" Stan asked."

"Duh, I got out of the trash can two days ago." Kenny muffled.

Cartman went to the party and there was a butler in his way.

"Excuse me sir, but do you have a present for the one known as Kenny McCormick?" The Butler asked.

"Aw shit, do I have to? Because the only reason why I came here was to see how crappy Kenny's birthday is." Cartman said.

"Sir, get a present or get out."

* * *

Cartman went to go get a present for Kenny and went to a strange odd looking store.

"Hmm… what kind of present does a poor person like in a strange place like this? Hey counter dude. I need to find a present for only poor people." Eric said to the Clerk.

"Little fat boy, I recommend that you should leave right now and if you refuse my command then your soul will be haunted by my grave!" The clerk said.

"Aye! I'm not fat! I'm just big-boned! Hey, can I just get a least a list of things that poor people need?"

"Very well then, peasant!"

The county dude gave him a list of things that were useful to buy for poor people: Laundry Soap Samples (FREE!), Box of Matches (5 Cents), Confetti Make your own for less than 12 cents, Sock Full of Rice (Just $1.29), A Lucky Penny (1 cent, Buy Ten of these for a dime!), Clever Poem (Highly Personal!), 1-12 Intriguing Paper Clip Sculpture Collection (Less than 2 cents apiece!), A pet rock (Less than a penny), An Ugly But Evil Doll (FREE! But Cursed).

"Uhh, how much do you want do you want for that ugly piece of doll?" Cartman asked.

"Impossible! You are the chosen one! Ah yes, take this doll because you are brave enough to buy it! However, I must warn you that there is something wrong with that doll that will give you a Con and a Pro! The Pro is that you get free ice cream. But the Con is that there is a good chance that your life will end by this evil doll!" The clerk said.

"Huh? What? Oh right, yeah whatever, I just need the doll for my friend Kenny and the ice cream!" Cartman said. Feeling like as if it were what the clerk said was true, though Cartman didn't pay attention.

Though he got the ice cream, which tasted like an ass of an chicken.

"Take it, and farewell, brave one!"

* * *

Cartman went back to Kenny's house to deliver the doll to Kenny as a present. Later at Kenny's backyard.

"Whoa Cartman, it's a doll! But did you fucked it up because it looks poor and I'm poor?" Kenny said as he unwrapped Cartman's present.

"Uh-Huh." Cartman answered.

"But you can look around because I'm not poor anymore, right now!"

"Yay, cheesy poofs!" Cartman yelled out as he ignored Kenny and ate cheesy poofs.

Kyle went to the party and met up with Cartman.

"Uhh Kyle, I'm sorry to tell you that Kenny said, 'No Jews allowed'!" Eric lied.

"Shut up fatass! I'm outta here!" Kyle shouted as he believed his lie.

"Yeah that's right, you better run, serves you right asshole!"

* * *

Two weeks after the party, things seem okay especially when Cartman gave Kenny the wooden doll to Kenny who decided to name it "Chucky." After the movie "Child's Play".

During school, Kenny was playing with Chucky. Mr. Garrison saw the poor boy and told him to stop playing with the doll.

"Kenny McCormick stop playing with that ugly ragdoll because toys aren't allowed in school, and if you have a problem with that then I will have no problem sending you to the principal's office!" Mr. Garrison warned him.

* * *

Right after school, Kenny went home with Chucky. As Kenny enters his house, Kenny's older brother Kevin McCormick saw him and went towards him.

"Give me your money or else I'll beat you up in your sleep!" Kevin said.

"Screw you Kevin, go ahead beat me up in my sleep, I won't even feel a thing."

* * *

Later in the midnight, Kevin was up quietly to beat Kenny up and take his money for a crow bar. But right before he was going to do that, the Chucky doll came to life and picked up a piece of glass on the floor. Chucky saw Kevin going towards Kevin slowly. Kevin saw the living doll and it decapitated Kevin by the jaw with the piece of glass Chucky found. Kevin died on the ground and the doll dragged him outside. As he went back to the Kenny's house, he wrote a note and put it on Kenny's desk.

**I went to get a beer.**

**Love, Kevin the bastard.**

**

* * *

**

The next day

Kenny and his friends went to South Park Elementary School. Kenny took Chucky with him. During class time, Kenny was playing with Chucky again, because he had nothing else to do.

"Kenny, what did I tell you about playing with ugly dolls? If you'll excuse me, I am going to confiscate this cruddy thing and put it this into my desk!" Mr. Garrison yelled."

During recess, Mr. Garrison was back in his classroom and he was hearing noises coming from his desk. He was hoping it wasn't people trying to get him to admit that he was gay for Osama Bin Laden or Hitler, but it wasn't. It was nothing but Chucky and his school supplies. He heard the voices a second time, except this time the left drawer was open from his desk, and Chucky was behind him.

"Hey what the fuck you think you're doing saying that I look cruddy and ugly! You're gonna pay for that!" Chucky said.

Chucky tried to kill him, but suddenly, while trying to kill him, the doll heard very awkward noises. There were noises as if it were one guy was having sex with a sex toy. "Wait, what the heck? Oh shit, your gay! Noooooooooooo!" Chucky yelled as Mr. Garrison used him in awkward gay ways.

"Aw screw this, I'll chop off your dick with this pencil!" Chucky said. Chucky chopped off Mr. Garrison's jewels and killing him through the chest. Then he hid him under the desk.

"This is most f****** death scene I ever done." Chucky said as he looked at the body.

After recess, the students in the 4th grade class room were wondering where Mr. Garrison went. Then Chucky jumped on the desk from the ground with a knife in his hand and said, "Hey kids! Prepare to die!" Kenny couldn't believe his eyes. The kids in the classroom ran for their lives but Chucky was just plain quick. Suddenly an unexpected explosion appeared out of nowhere in the classroom.

Everything seems cool that some kids survived but Chucky was alive as he stepped out of the fire. He decided to kill them one by one instead of all of them at the same time.

* * *

After school

Red was sleeping at home in her bed and Chucky appeared as she woke up.

"Psst, hey, wake up. Red, you are so **hot!" **Chucky said as he picked up a flamethrower and burns Chucky's first victim.

Next, Chucky went after Butters at his home in the kitchen. Chucky saw him and slowly followed him as he was making a sandwich.

"Hi Butters, **knives** to meet you!" said Chucky as he poked a knife through his chest.

Next, he decided to go after Token. Token was at a private amusement park for himself playing whack-the-mole, but he couldn't get any moles so he whacked the owner of the amusement park. As Chucky came, he saw Token.

"Hey Blacky!" Chucky said.

"Damn it I don't want the code name Blacky!" Token yelled until he saw Chucky again.

"Hey Blacky, **hammer** it up!" Chucky crushed Token with a giant sledgehammer.

* * *

Meanwhile, Kenny went downtown and muffles at random people.

"Were all gonna die!" Kenny muffles as he yell it at random people.

"Back off loser!" said a person.

"Killer dolly is on the loose!" Kenny shouts again in a muffled way.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Another South Park citizen said.

"Aw shit, I hope I don't get killed again." Kenny muffled.

* * *

Chucky was at a long street near the lakes, gas station, and the video store. While Chucky was hunting his next victim, he encountered the 6th graders on bicycles. One of them ran over the doll, and the other barely ran over it. Chucky made a toy-like explosive, and then he ran away secretly. The 6th graders didn't knew the fact that it was an explosive so they touched it and it blew up a few seconds later. The 6th graders were on the ground dead. Now Chucky is after Bebe.

Chucky was now at the suburbs and saw Bebe's house. The doll entered her room through a window of the house and she just woke her up.

"Whoa Bebe, those are some nice, polished, long, **nails**!" Chucky said as she impales her with a nail gun through Bebe's head.

After the murder of Bebe, Chucky went after Wendy Testaburger. He went to her house by using the window. Chucky entered a kitchen and went upstairs. Chucky saw her in the hallway going to her room and Chucky was slowly following her as she was walking.

"Hey Wendy if you love Stan then use your **heart**!" Chucky said as he was stabbing her through the back and taking out her heart.

* * *

The next day.

Stan entered Wendy's house, hoping for a date tonight.

"Oh Wendy I got a surprise for yo... OH MY GOD, WHAT THE F*** IS THIS!" Stan yelled as she saw her dead body.

* * *

Later, at the park.

"I'm sorry man, my doll is going out killing people, and I think Craig is next as he is one of the survivors." Kenny muffled.

"How can you be so sure? What about us, Kyle, and Cartman?" Stan asked.

"I'm sure because Chucky is always hunting the kids who pissed him off. He gave a middle finger to the doll yesterday. Craig might be next." Kenny muffled.

"Good point. Let's go find Craig."

* * *

Craig was sleeping at home in his bed. Suddenly, Chucky appeared out of nowhere as the boy woke up.

"Psst, hey, wake up Mr. Middle Finger. I have to **axe** you something." Chucky said as he chopped of Craig's head with an axe.

Meanwhile, Kenny and Stan are still looking for Craig at the streets of South Park

"Hey Kenny, How come we never looked at Craig's house?" Stan asked.

"Never mind, Craig could be already dead. Let's stop looking." Kenny muffled.

* * *

Later, at Kenny's house.

Chucky's next victim was Kenny.

"I'll teach you how to treat me than a mere toy! **Heads up**!" Chucky yelled as he threw a baseball that went through a drawing of Kenny. "Wow, that was a good throw, I must be a deadly pitcher!"

* * *

Meanwhile at the Bus Stop.

Kenny, Stan, and Cartman were at the bus stop with no Kyle to be found.

"Where's Kyle?" Stan asked.

"I don't know but I'm going to go to his house and tell him how Nazis are so much better than Jews, later!" Cartman said

"Oh Kenny…" said Chucky as he hold an axe in his hands.

"Oh Fuck No!" Kenny muffled.

The toy came closer to Kenny until "BANG!". A shot was heard and half of Chucky's head was blown up.

Kyle shot Chucky with a shotgun from behind and then Chucky died.

"That's for killing my friends asshole!" Kyle shouted.

"Screw you Kyle, your friends was both a bastard and a bitch." Cartman said.

"Shut up fatass!"

"Aye!" Cartman argued.

"Hey man, were really sorry for all these deaths, Kenny." Stan said.

"Are you guys joking? It's an psychopath doll! There killers, dude." said Kyle.

"It doesn't matter, I'm just glad you all are safe, now I'm going home now." Kenny said. Kenny went home and lived happily ever after. Until, Kenny got ran over by the bus at the bus stop.

"Oh my god, you killed Kenny!" said Stan.

"Aw screw this, I'm outta here!" said Kyle as he went home.

* * *

"And that's how the story ended." Kenny said.

"See, Cartman." Stan said. "His story is way better than yours."

"Whatever." Eric said.

"At least... these stories... were not real." Randy shivered in fear.

"Hey Kenny!" A weird voice said.

"What is it Eric?" Kenny said.

"I didn't say anything!" Eric yelled.

"Then who did?" Kyle argued.

Suddenly an axe was poked through Kenny's chest. Behind him was Chucky with half of a blown up head. Suddenly Kenny was dead.

"Oh my god. You killed Kenny!" Stan said.

"You bastard!" Kyle said.


	9. Butters, a Killer?

Spoof of Rear Window

* * *

It was a lovely day and the boys were near a huge lake, fishing for fish and even snakes for some reason. As Stan fished in the water he waved his fishing rod around.

"Dude." Kyle said. "I think you should be careful waving your fishing rod around. The hook could get in someone's eye."

"Yeah right." Eric said. "Stan, wave that rod all you want. Don't listen to Jews."

"Whatever Cartman." Stan said as he wave his rod back and forth.

As he continuously waved his fishing rod back and forth, the hook was caught on to something. Stan turned around and saw that the hook was caught onto the newly built train tracks that crossed the lake

"Train tracks are probably not a good sign." Kenny muffled.

"What makes you think that?" Stan asked.

"Trust me, it's not."

"Whatever Kenny. I paid ten bucks for that hook."

Stan got up from the ground and walk to the train tracks. He got further on the train tracks and saw his hook stuck to the metal. Suddenly he heard a noise. Behind was steam from a black colored train coming to the location where he was. Stan had only had this to say, "Shit!"

Stan tried to take the fishing hook out of the metal as fast as he could.

"Dammit, why won't this stupid hook come out."

"What are we going to do?" Kyle said in shock.

Suddenly a robot-like cop appeared out of nowhere. It was RoboCop.

"I'll save you Stan!" RoboCop said as he stepped on the train tracks.

Robo-Cop ran to the boy for his safety, but instead got run over dead by the train.

"I told you Robo-Cop is weak and pathetic." Kyle said. "Give me the 10 bucks Cartman."

"Fine!" Eric said in anger.

"Dude!" Stan said as he managed to get the hook out. "You made a bet over RoboCop!"

"Stan! Look out!" Kenny muffled

Stan saw the train right in front of him. He tried to dodge it, but the train managed to crush his legs brutally.

"Well, at least he's not dead." Kenny muffled

"Another train!" Eric yelled.

Suddenly another train, this time blue and faster, crushed Stan's legs again.

"Ow..w..w" Stan said.

"Don't feel sad Stan." Eric said. "This is only the first time you got your legs crushed two times in a row."

Kenny and Kyle looked at Eric angrily.

"What?"

* * *

Later at Stan's house.

Kyle, Eric, Kenny, Stan's Parents, and a doctor watched Stan on a wheel chair with broken crushed legs in Stan's room.

"Now Stan." The doctor said. "I must warn you never to try to stand up, kick, or let anything else touch your legs. You got that."

"Yes, I do." Stan said weakly.

"Good."

"Stan." Randy said. "We got you a present."

"A present!" Stan said. "What is it?"

"There binoculars, just so you can watch birds and even look through space." Sharon said.

"Look through space?" Kyle said.

"Yes. These binoculars are different from other binoculars. It can look through space."

"You just said that."

"Well... bye now." Sharon said as she and her husband left the room.

"Man, it must be pretty horrible having legs that have been crushed by a train." Kyle said. "Anyway, were here for you man."

"What? I'm going home." Eric said as he left the room.

"Traitor!" Kenny said.

"Kenny. We all know the big fatass is a traitor." Stan said.

* * *

The next day.

Stan was in his room bored as usual because of his broken legs.

"I'm so bored. I wonder if having binoculars is great." Stan said as he went to grab his binoculars.

As he grabbed his binoculars he went to the window and looked through the town, or suburbs of South Park. First he saw a bunch of policemen arresting a German criminal.

"Take him to jail." Officer Yates said.

"What did we Germans ever did to you!" The German criminal said.

Officer Yates stared at him angrily.

"Oh yeah. The holocaust."

Stan turned his binoculars over to the bar where Randy was at. He was playing poker with the Russian Terrorist, Mack, the South Park Mafia Boss, Big Joe, and Trent's dad, Jerk Boyett.

"Why is my dad good at befriending criminals?" Stan said as he looked through his binoculars.

Stan stopped looking through the suburbs and town of South Park, until he heard a scream. Stan picked up the binoculars and searched where the scream came from. He heard the scream again which lead to Butters house.

"Why did I have to kill her?" Butters said as he dragged a large bag with something in it.

"Butters? Killing her mother? Nah... He's too nice and a pussy to kill anyone." Stan said as he let go of his binoculars.

He picked up his binoculars again and saw Butters covered in blood this time as he was digging a hole. He then tossed the bag into the hole, and began filling it with dirt and ran away.

"My god. This can't be Butters!" Stan said in surprise as he grabbed his camera.

* * *

The next day.

Stan was in the wheel chair with his friends, including the other 4th graders.

"Okay, I just saw Butters killing her mother." Stan said.

"What? That can't be. Butters would never do something like that." Eric said.

"You know, I actually have to agree with Cartman on this one." Kyle said.

The other 4th graders began to agree as well.

"Well, if you don't believe me than believe this." Stan said.

Stan brought out a couple of photos showing Butters covered in blood with a huge garbage bag.

"No way..." Kenny muffled.

"It's probably just garbage and meat." Eric said.

"Well if you guys don't believe me than how about we search for more evidence?" Stan said.

"Fine." Kyle, Kenny, and even Eric said.

"Hey fellas. What's going on?" Butters said as he entered the group of 4th graders.

The 4th graders suddenly shook in fear a little after seeing Butters, except the bullies, Eric, Kenny, and Kyle. Stan was scared the most.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Butters asked.

"Nothing. We were just talking about a party tomorrow." Stan said.

"A party?" Eric said. "I thought we were going to the..."

"Shut up fatass." Kyle said.

"Can I come?" Butters asked.

"No, Butters."

"But why?"

"Because you can't come, you killer, I mean pussy." Stan yelled

"Okay..." Butters said as he walked away.

"That was a close one." Stan said.

* * *

Later at the cafeteria.

Stan and his friends walked into the cafeteria and to the school kitchen. In the kitchen, they saw a robot that replaced Robot Chef.

"Who are you?" Stan asked.

"MY NAME IS R2-D2, OR R2, OR JUST CALL ME CHEF-2." Chef-2 said.

"Another robot?" Kyle said. "You know, you kind of look familiar. Have I seen you?"

"UM... NO." Chef-2 said.

"I got it!" Eric said. "Your that one blue robot from Star Wars, aren't you?"

"OH DAMMIT! YES I AM."

"Why are you working at a dump like this?"

"I WANT TO GET AWAY FROM ALL OF THOSE FANS, CITIES, AND THE WORST OF ALL... LAWYERS AND BUISNESS WHO WANT TO TAKE MY MONEY AWAY THROUGH TAXES AND BILLS. IT'S CRAZY."

"I didn't know that a famous movie star is that hard and irritating." Kyle said.

"YOU DON'T KNOW THE HALF OF IT. ANYWAY WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR LUNCH?" Chef-2 said.

"Just some macaroni I guess." Kenny muffled.

"WAIT..." Chef-2 said as he stuff noodles, cheese, and some boiling water.

After that, he took out a huge bowl of macaroni.

"That was faster than the other robot chef." Kyle said in surprised. "Hey? Whatever happened to him anyway?"

"YOU WANT SOME TOAST WITH THAT?" Chef-2 said.

"Sure." Eric said.

"You would like some fatass." Kyle said.

"Well at least..."

"BOYS...BEEP!" A voice came somewhere.

"What the hell was that?" Eric said.

"THAT WOULD BE THE OLD ROBOT CHEF." Chef-2 said as he was looking at the toaster.

"The toaster is the old Robot Chef?" Stan said.

"YEAH, NOW GO ON." Chef-2 said.

"Wait! I have this small problem." Stan said.

"WHAT?"

"Let's say that there was this boy who was really nice, but at the end he killed a family member. What would you do?"

"I WOULD KICK HIS ASS AND STAB HIM IN THE BACK. THEN I WOULD..."

"You know, never mind."

* * *

Later the night at Stan's house.

Stan was watching Butters house by using binoculars, to see if anything happened. Eric, Kyle, and Kenny were waiting in Stan's room for the perfect time.

"Okay, I don't think he's there." Stan said

"Wait!" Eric said. "Why doesn't Stan go to the house too?"

"Because fatass, he has a broken leg." Kyle yelled. "Now let's go."

Stan went back to the window with his binoculars and saw the boys entering the room. They split up as they search the room for evidence. As he saw the boys searching through the house for evidence, he saw Eric Cartman looking at Stan's house.

"What the heck are you doing now?" Stan said.

Eric Cartman turned around and pulled down his pants showing his butt and farted.

"You think that's funny Cartman? That's just weird and sick because of its monstrous size."

Stan looked elsewhere and saw Butters with a knife and a rain coat.

"Oh shit!" Stan said.

Butters opened the door and shut it. He went further until the other three boys heard step noises. They all hided as Butters closed the curtains of his windows. Suddenly the scream of boys were heard from the house and birds were flying away.

"What do I do? The police! Why haven't I thought of that before?"

Stan picked up his cell phone on the table and dialed 911.

* * *

Meanwhile somewhere in the town of South Park.

Officer Yates picked up his cell phone to see who it is.

"Yes?" Officer Yates said.

"Police! My friends are captured by a lunatic!" Stan said.

"Oh, well I'm kind of busy here right now. I'm trying to fight the mafia right now. Call me later."

Officer Yates closed his cell phone.

"Okay, does anyone have any sixes?" Officer Yates said to the South Park mafia and a couple of policemen.

They were playing poker at the restaurant hideout for money.

"I have a five, but no sixes." African Feraz said.

* * *

Meanwhile at Stan's house.

Stan was watching Butters grabbing three garbage bags to a bigger hole. He threw the three garbage bags into the hole and walked back to his house covered in blood.

"You bastard. Now you took away my friends. What are you going to do next." Stan said. "Take away my other friends too?"

Suddenly a bunch of girl scouts came to the house.

"Shit! What can I do now? My leg is broken."

He grabbed his binoculars again and watched Butters inviting the girl scouts to his house. He also saw Butters closing the curtains of his windows. Suddenly there was silence again.

"I have to do something, before more people come, but what?" Stan said. "I got it!"

An hour later.

"Okay guys. I know I don't hang out with you much, but your still my friends right?"

"I guess so?" Token said.

Token, Tweek, Timmy, and Jimmy were all in Stan's room.

"Now, all you have to do is go into Butters house and find some evidence that Butters might be a murderer." Stan said. "If he comes, then hide or knock him out with a stick."

"What if there's no stick to knock him out with?" Token said.

"Then hit him with a metal bar." Stan said.

"What if there's no me.. me... me.. metal bar?" Jimmy asked.

"Then hit him with anything that can knock him out."

"TIMMY! Timmy. TIMMY! Timmy." Timmy said.

"How the heck would I know if he has walnuts? Just go over there and find proof."

"You don't have to be a asshole or anything." Token said as he left the room along with the other boys.

Stan watched the boys entering the house. Everything looked okay. Tweek kept on searching through the living room until he found an arm under the couch.

"My god!" Stan said until he looked even further.

The arm had an imprint that said, Toys R Us. It was a fake rubber arm for scaring children.

Token searched through the upper stairs until Butters appeared out of nowhere. Token ran away as Butters closed the curtains again. As he managed to close all the curtains, silence came again. Butters opened the curtains and saw Stan spying on him. Stan rolled back away so he couldn't see him, even though he already did to the cell phone. He dialed 911 again.

* * *

Meanwhile somewhere in South Park.

"Yes?" Officer Yates said as he took the phone.

"Oh good! The lunatic just..."

"Can you call later. I'm trying to capture a criminal here." Officer Yates said as he closed the cell phone. "Anyway Randy, what were you going to tell us again?"

"Well, when I was playing poker with some of dads, we found Butters holding guns. We thought he was playing bad boy for a second, but it turns out that our buddy Big Joe here was storing it there because his ware house was full."

"True story." Big Joe said.

"You know. This kind of reminds of me the time during the time when the Soviet Union collapsed and became a democracy." Mack Tyrant said. "I was back at the donut shop because of that. Now I'm a rich succesful Russian Terrorist with a beautiful wife, two sons and a daughter in the U.S."

"You know what I don't get about Russia?" Big Joe asked.

"What?" Mack asked.

"Your country strangely chooses different sides. I mean at first there against America and then there friends again. Later, it goes all over again during the cold war. Isn't it strange?"

"Haven't you heard 'The enemy of my enemy is my friend'?" Mack asked.

"That's what a lot of people say about the relationship between the U.S. and Russia." Randy said.

"You know what. You guys are great! I'm thinking about moving in to South Park."

* * *

Meanwhile at Stan's house.

"Oh Stanley!" Sharon yelled. "Butters wants to have a friendly conversation with you about spying on him."

"I'll come down, Mom." Stan yelled. "Dang it. The blonde kid is always a step ahead of me."

Stan slowly went down the stairs in his wheel chair and went to the kitchen. He saw Butters drinking tea at the table with his mom.

"...Hi... Butters..." Stan said as he sat at the table.

"Hi Stan!" Butters said cheerfully.

"Yes... Hi... Anyway, do you have any secrets to tell about? I don't know, maybe something about a garbage bag and a hole?"

"No." Butters said. "Anyway, have you seen the last Terminator movie. It was great."

"Well yes Butters." Sharon said. "The movie was a bit loud, a bit violent, and kept on jumping to scene to scene quickly but..."

"The movie was bad." Stan interrupted.

"Stan!"

"No worries Mrs. Marsh." Butters said happily.

Sharon left the kitchen as Stan watched. He then turned to Butters.

"Okay Butters. I know what you did!" Stan said.

"But I don't know what you're talking about, Stan." Butters said

"Uh huh. Acting like the guy who never killed their own mother."

"Stan, your acting a little crazy. Maybe I should make some of my home-made soup."

"I see. You're going to make some soup for poor Stan, but you put poison in it."

"Why are you acting like this, Stan?"

"I saw the garbage bags, the hole, everything!"

"What?" Butters said in surprised.

"You can't get away from this Butters." Stan said. "I used to thought you were just the pussy on the swing. Now you're a violent killer who wants to get rid of me right now, don't you? I'm not scared of your violent ways now."

"I'm leaving."

"Leaving huh. Why did you came here the first place?"

"Just to check to see if everything is okay." Butters said as he left the house.

* * *

Later at the next day.

Wendy was at the front of Stan's house. She kept on ranging the door bell, until it opened. As the door opened, it revealed Sharon at the door.

"Hi Wendy. What are you doing here?" Sharon asked.

"I'm here to visit Stan. I heard he got his foot brutally crushed by two trains. Usually it's one each year for some reason." Wendy answered.

"Anyway come in."

Wendy entered Stan's room and saw that his room was dark and the only thing that was bright was the windows. She saw Stan on the wheel chair and spying on Butters.

"Stan..." Wendy said.

"Yes, Wendy?" Stan said as he continuously watched the house.

"I heard that you think that Butters is a murderer."

"He is and I'm going to find some proof."

"Well anyway, here's your gift. It's a sports watch."

"Already have one of those. I just got an idea."

"What is it?"

"Can you go inside Butters house and find evidence. I think only one person should go this time."

"I may be your girlfriend, but that doesn't mean I should just break into some ones house and go through their stuff."

"I'll give you five bucks."

"I'll see if I can find the evidence." Wendy said.

Stan watched the house again with the binoculars, this time there was only one person entering the house. Stan watched the house and saw Wendy going through the bathroom, the fridge, under the bed, everywhere, but no bodies, guts, or knives covered in blood. As Stan kept on spying on the house, he saw Butters walking to the door of his house.

"Not again! Run Wendy!" Stan whispered as he saw Wendy in the upper floor of the house.

Butters entered the house until he saw Stan spying on him again. He had an rare angry look on his face and searched everywhere for another person in his house.

"Dang it!" Stan said as he went to the cell phone.

He dialed 911 again.

* * *

Meanwhile somewhere in South Park.

Officer Yates picked up his cell phone again and opened it.

"Yes? Who is it?" Officer Yates said.

"It's me again. The lunatic is back." Stan said.

"Were right on it, until we finished building a castle of cards."

"What the heck do you mean a castle of cards! I've been calling you several times and your excuse this time is a castle of cards."

"Hey! A castle of cards is difficult to build."

Stan closed his cell phone.

"If the police can't help, then I guess I'll have to go over to that house. Even if my foot has been brutally crushed by two trains." Stan said as he gotten out of wheel chair and stood straight. "Maybe I can walk with a broken..."

Stan suddenly felled to the ground.

"Looks like I'm going to crawl my way out and in the house."

Meanwhile at Butters house.

Wendy heard step noises from the stairs. It was Butters holding an knife. Wendy had to hide somewhere and ran to a random room. She entered the room and saw a small bed, closet, toys, and a video game console. It was Butters room.

"Oh no!" Wendy whispered.

Suddenly the door moved a little as Butters touched the door knob. As Butters entered his room, there was no one there. Wendy was hiding under the bed. Butters sat down at his desk and took out some mail. He began opening it with the knife he had.

* * *

Later at the door at Butters house.

Stan was crawling with rakes, buckets, and a metal wire tangled to his foot. He crawled to the door and heard a scream. Wendy was running from Butters as he carried the knife. Stan quickly opened the door and saw Wendy in front of him as well as Butters holding a knife.

"Hah! I knew it!" Stan said.

"Knew what?" Butters asked.

"You tried to kill Wendy didn't you?"

"No. I was trying to hand her an invitation to your secret birthday party, but since you can't shut up I guess it isn't a secret party anymore."

"Huh?" Stan said in confusion.

"You heard me. A secret birthday party for you." Butters said.

"What about the curtains and Kyle, Kenny, Eric, Tweek, Token, Timmy, and Jimmy?" Stan said.

"There all a part of the party too. You might have notice they disappeared because they weren't trying to secretly get everything ready."

"What about that knife in your hand?"

"I needed to open my mail"

"What about the scream, the blood, and your mom?"

"I was playing a videogame and a girl screamed in the game because I accidently killed her in the Xbox 360. I kept on cooking the steak wrong and blood kept on getting on my shirt as I redo the steak over and over again. Also, my mom was at some female camp right now."

"Wait! The garbage bags and the shovel! Explain that!" Stan yelled with a smile.

"Well, um... they were... bags filled with garbage and..."

"FREEZE" Cops yelled as they entered the house.

* * *

Ten Min. later.

Stan's friends, Butters, Wendy, Butters Parents, Cops, and some other people that were involved in the birthday party were outside of Butters house.

"And that's how it happened Officer." Butters said.

"I see." Officer Yates said.

"That still doesn't explain about the garbage bags." Stan said.

"Well um..."

"Hey chief." A cop said. "We found the garbage bag that the boy talked about."

The cop cut the bag open with a knife, and a bunch of adult magazines were released.

"Adult magazines?" Stan said.

"Oh no..." Butters said.

"Butters!" Stephen Stotch said. "You are grounded mister for keeping these adult magazines. If you told about this, then we would ground you for just a week."

"Well I guess you know the truth Stan." Kyle said as he, Kenny, and Eric walk to Stan.

"Looks like Butters didn't killed anyone after all." Stan said.

* * *

11:00 at night.

Butters woke up from his bed and picked up his cell phone. He dialed a phone number and a voice came.

"Who is this?" A voice said.

"It's me, Butters."

"Butters!" The voice said happily. "You remember me right? Big Joe."

"Yes sir. I did the job, like you told me to."

"So where's the dead body right now?"

"Don't worry Big Joe. I hid the body somewhere people will never find it."

"Where?"

* * *

Meanwhile at Burger King in South Park.

"You know, Randy. This burger is absolutely delicious." Mack said.

Suddenly a burnt finger fell out of the burger. Mack looked at it.

"I'll tell the manager about your burger." Randy said.

"No. I'd pay for it and I'm eating it. After all, this is America."

"Ew..."


	10. South Park Past and Present

(Note: This story might have some grammar mistakes. I don't care if you sent bad comments, think its not good, or should be deleted, erased, or wiped off the internet. This took me a lot of time to find the simplest information of there child hood, teenage hood, college hood, whatever in the episodes.")

"Hello, my name is Bill Honley." Bill said as he stared at the camera. "I am a documentary film maker who is about to show you the life of children of South Park in the past and what has happened to them as they grow up. We will start with little Randy Marsh."

* * *

Randy Marsh Age 8

The camera was facing towards at a young boy with black hair, a coat, jeans in the middle of a snowy playground.

"Hello Randy." Bill Honley said. "Tell me about yourself."

"Well... I fill like what people should stop destroying nature's way and..."

"So you're a hippie?"

"What? No. I'm just normal like everyone else."

"No you aren't." Stephen Stotch said as he came. "Your just a hippie trying to waste your time by smoking and listening to hip-hop all day!"

"Oh yeah asshole." Randy said as he came to Stephen Stotch.

They started beating each other up as every child formed a crowd around them.

Randy Marsh Age 18

"I am now at South Park High, with an older Randy Marsh." Bill Honley said beside a teenage Randy Marsh. "So Randy? What have you been doing these days?"

"Well, it's great Bill. I just got a deal with a record producer to be in a boy band." Randy said.

"Wouldn't that mean leaving your parents, high school diploma, and even your girlfriend?"

"Yep. I'm going to miss them. I think I can still go to college though." Randy said as he left.

"Humph. It seems that teenage Randy has joined a boy band, but he's probably going to be fired after an year or two. That's how boy bands work these days. That miserable bastard."

* * *

Stephen Stotch Age 8

The camera was facing towards a little boy with a brown hair, blue coat and jeans sitting at his desk in the 4th grade classroom.

"In this playground is little Stephen Stotch, age 8. He is known to be a rude kid to both children, teachers, and the public. Always pulling pranks on the teachers, and sneaking drugs on the way to school. Let's watch and see what happens."

Mr. Mephesto came as a young man with brown hair entered the 4th grade class room and saw a bunch of children in their seats as well as the camera man, and Bill Honley.

"Okay, I am your teacher, Dr. Alphonse Mephesto. You can just address me as Mephesto if you want." Dr. Mephesto said. "Any questions?"

"Yeah! I got one." Stephen said as he raised up his hand with a grin.

"What is it... Stephen was it?" Dr. Mephesto said.

"I think I dropped something under your desk."

"Oh, okay. I'll take a look."

Dr. Mephesto looked under the desk and saw something round. It was a stink bomb.

"Shit!" Dr. Mephesto said as he the stink bomb exploded onto his face.

"STEPHEN!" Dr. Mephesto yelled.

The camera was now facing towards to Bill Honley now as he looked at the camera.

"It seems that Stephen Stotch is a huge trouble maker. What future will this evil demon have later?" Bill Honley said as he stared at the camera with a serious look.

Stephen Stotch, age 18.

The camera moved to an teenage Stephen as he walked into the hallway with a football uniform with his friends and his girlfriend.

"We now see Stephen Stotch as a completely different person." Bill Honley said. "Stephen Stotch is more nicer, has more friends, a very good football player for the school, and even has a girlfriend named Linda. Who knows, maybe they'll even get married."

Stephen Stotch, age 24.

The camera man and Bill Honley were in Stephen's and Linda's apartment.

"Hi Stephen Stotch. How's things going for you today?" Bill asked.

"Everything is great Bill." Stephen answered with a smiled. "I'm married, paid the bills, got a good job, and I'm thinking about moving into a new house with my wife."

"I see, you have a good life. Have you ever thought about having a child in your life?"

"A child. I don't need a freaking child in my life. That could ruin everything. You won't see me having a bunch of crazy monkeys messing me around."

4 Years Later

The camera showed an older Stephen Stotch and a pregnant Linda Stotch sitting on the couch.

"You did remove the scene about how I didn't say I want kids... right?" Stephen said in worry voice.

"Stephen, you should be happy that you're going to have a child. They say it's a miracle." Bill said.

"How come you don't have a child Bill?"

"Well... um... my wife... what are you going to name your child?"

"That's a good question." Linda said. "I thought about calling it Leopold if it's a boy or Lara if it's a girl."

"Leopold? I want to call it Butters." Stephen said. "Butters sounds a bit better."

"Why would you want to call it Butters? That's just awkward."

"Stephen, I thought you didn't care about the child." Bill said with a smile.

"Dammit. I suddenly feel like I care about this child!"

* * *

Gerald Age 8

The camera showed a playground filled with many children inside.

"In this very playground, is little Gerald, age 8. One of the only few Jews in the playground." Bill said as he walks to a young boy wearing a orange coat, jeans, and a snow cap."Gerald Broflovski. What does it feel like to be one of the few Jew kids to be here?"

"Feels okay. People are nice here and..."

"Where's that Jew, Bob?" Joe asked as he walked into the playground.

"Oh shit. The bullies!" Gerald said as he ran.

"What do you know. The bullies are Joe, Bob, Feraz, and Anthony. Sons of the fear South Park Mafia."

"Hey you, British guy!" Joe yelled. "Have you seen a Jew here. He owes us money."

"Aren't you little boys cute, anyway..."

"Cute? You call this cute!" Joe said as he shot the documentary film maker with a Bebe gun in the shin.

"Ow! That hurt." Bill said.

The bullies started taking down the documentary film maker to the ground. Feraz kicked the man in the balls, Anthony and Bob started breaking his arms, while Joe punches him in the face.

Gerald Age 24

"We are now in front of Gerald's apartment, who has a wife that he would want us to meet." Bill said as he opens the door.

As he enters the apartment, he saw Gerald and a fat lady beside him.

"This is your wife? She's overweight?" Bill Honley said in surprised.

"Hey! That's my wife you're talking about." Gerald said angrily.

"Sorry. Anyway, how did you met?" Bill said.

"I met her during college. We have lots of things in common, were both Jewish, and we think what the government is doing to the children is wrong." Gerald answered.

"Have you ever considered children?" Bill said.

"That could ruin our lives!" Gerald said.

"So you don't like children?"

"We like children, we just don't want to have any."

"Strange. All the other people that I filmed in this documentary said the same thing and yet, I keep having a feeling that most of them are going to have children."

"Well, you're wrong." Gerald said.

* * *

Stuart McCormick Age 8

Bill Honley and the Cameraman were in front of Stuart's house with the camera ready.

"Stuart McCormick. A smart lad he is, always getting the girls for such an age, mysteriously dying and returning, and the best friend of Randy, Gerald, and that other rude kid, whatever his name is. Yet, still poor. Anyway, let's have a check." Bill Honley said in front of Stuart's door.

Bill Honley entered the odd-looking disgusting house and saw little Stuart playing with a old piece of junk.

"Hello little Stuart. I heard you've been getting A's. How's that feel like?"

"Okay, I guess."

"What job you want in the future? A computer programmer, an author, an movie maker?"

"A nuclear technician." Stuart said.

"I don't know about that. There are no nuclear power plants in South Park, and you seem um... poor to move somewhere else where there is a Nuclear Power Plant. You know what? I think I'll just go."

Bill Honley and The Cameraman left the house as a meteor from the sky hit towards Stuart dead to the ground.

Suddenly a young Gerald and Randy came in Stuarts house.

"Oh my god! That killed Stuart!" Randy yelled!

"You Bastard!" Gerald yelled.

Stuart McCormick Age 18.

"My god. Stuart McCormick has been getting D's in school. I wonder how that has happened?" Bill Honley said as he looked at his report card in the principle office of South Park High.

Two years in the past.

"Hey Stuart." Gerald said as he and his friends came into the poor house. "Try this beer. It's great!"

"Not now. I have to study for this test." Stuart answered.

"Oh come on. Just one beer." A drunken Randy said as he came into the room.

"Fine. If that will shut you up."

Stuart took a beer from Gerald's hand and drank him. Suddenly he started change slowly and his brain was thinking slower.

* * *

Veronica Crabtree Age 8

The cameraman pointed the camera at a young, normal, and healthy girl who was smiling and sitting at the bench.

"Hello Veronica. What's it like today in this world?"

"It's not bad. I'm thinking about being a astronaut or a doctor. I'm thinking mostly about being a Vet."

Veronica Crabtree Age 24

"At the age of 24, she became a doctor to both humans and pets." Bill Honley said as he and the camera man entered Veronica's apartment. As they entered the apartment, they sat down to have a talk with Veronica near a bird in the cage.

"So Veronica. What's happen to you these days?"

"I'm kind of tired. I need a smoke right now." Veronica said as she pulled out her cigar. "When I get bored, I feed my pet bird. I'm thinking about getting one of those small jobs for a while."

"You sure smoke a lot." Bill said.

"Yeah, so?"

"Smoking can cause you to have yellow teeth, an grotesque face, brain damage, and may make you act like an old lady who hates children. Are you really okay with that?"

"Sure, why not?"

Veronica Crabtree Age 38 (Before her death)

The Camera man and Bill Honley stepped into a school bus filled with children. The men saw an older Ms. Crabtree that looked like something that just got run over.

"Eww..." Bill said. "Anyway, Ms. Crabtree. What is..."

"SIT DOWN AND SHUTUP!" Ms. Crabtree said

"But I..."

"I SAID SHUTUP!"

"But this is the docu..."

"SHUTUP OR I"LL KILL THE BUNNY!"

Bill Honley and the Cameraman sat down by Stan.

"Does she always do this now?" Bill asked to Stan.

"Pretty much."

* * *

Jimbo Kern Age 8

Bill Honley and the Cameraman were in the Marsh's house, to see Jimbo Kern. As they entered the house they saw Marvin Marsh reading the newspapers and Jimbo trying to carefully target Randy with a bebe gun as he chases him around with a baseball bat.

"My god! Aren't you going to control your son!" Bill Honley.

"What do you mean? He's adoptive, or wait? Did my wife cheat me and slept with another guy? Can't remember." Marvin said.

"So wait? He's Randy's half brother or step brother?"

"I think it was half brother."

Jimbo Kern continued to chased Randy with the bebe gun until he pressed the trigger. Suddenly the cameraman fell down dead with a bullet in the eye.

"I thought you told me that was bebe gun." Bill said.

"I didn't say anything asshole. At least Jimbo is not a hippie like Randy is."

"Hey!" Randy said in anger and surprised.

* * *

Richard Tweak Age 8

Bill Honley and the Cameraman were now looking at Richard Tweak who was fighting against Quib in the school hallway.

"I don't want to fight Quib. It's too much pressure!" Richard said as his body shake."

"Who's Quib?" Bill asked.

"I'm the lead football junior player of this school." Quib said as he entered the conversation. (Quib is mentioned in Tweek Vs. Craig)

"I see. Well, good luck with your fight then." Bill said as he and the camera man left.

"What's going on here people?" Hall Monitor Barbrady said as he came to the hallway.

"Nothing Hall Monitor. I'm just going." Quib said as he walked away.

Richard Tweak Age 18

Richard Tweak, still shaking, was walking down the hallway as the camera man and Bill Honley followed as they filmed him on the documentary.

"Richard Tweak, a person who's getting good grades, but shakes too much." Bill said as the camear continued to stare at the young man.

"Hi Rich." Cindy said with a smile.

Richard Tweak suddenly stopped shaking.

"What's this?" Bill said as he saw the two. "The man suddenly stopped shaking. Could this be love?"

"What are you doing with my girlfriend?" Quib said as he saw the two.

"I'm not your girlfriend, Quib." Cindy said.

"So. You're going to hang out with this loser instead?"

"He's more nicer and honest than you."

"Yeah... Quib. You better get out of here or... something will happen." Richard said.

"You wanna fight for the girl?" Quib asked.

"What's going on here?" An teenage Barbrady said as he came to the people.

"Nothing hall monitor. We were just leaving." Quib lied.

Barbrady left them as Quib said, "Meet you tomorrow at morning."

Later at Morning in the front of the school.

"Sir." The Cameraman asked.

"What is it Harry?" Bill asked

"Why are we putting a fight between two teenagers in the documentary?"

"Because I just want to."

Richard Tweek was at the front of the school shaking in fear.

"This is too much pressure."

"Hello Richard!" Cindy said as she walked to the teenager.

"Hi... Cindy..." Richard said as he stopped shaking.

Four Hours later.

A crowd surrounded Richard until one of Quib's friends came.

"Hey Rich. It's your lucky day." Quib's friend said. "The guy moved to some place in Texas. You won."

"Really!" Richard said in surprise.

"FUCK!" Bill said as he punched the cameraman in the face. "I lost the freaken bet!"

* * *

Ryan Valmer Age 8

Ryan Valmer was in the hallway making fun of the disable by pulling pranks and calling names to them.

"As we see another incredibly rude child, we also see him as a child who doesn't care about the disabled." Bill Honley said as he stared at the camera.

The camera was facing towards the child again as he poked a disabled kid with his two fingers.

Ryan Valmer Age 38

"Hello Mr. and Ms. Valmer." Bill Honley said. "It seems I forgot about you as a teenager and an young adult in the film. Anyway, it seems your child is disabled. Isn't that kind of strange?"

"What do you mean?" Ryan Valmer asked.

"First you were making fun of the disable children. Now, you have a disable child in your own home. Don't you think that's strange."

"Well yes. I guess it's payback for what we done to the disabled."

"Anyway, how's life today."

"It's fine I guess. Nothing is wrong." Sarah Valmer.

"Hey dad!" Jimmy said. "I'm having trouble coo...coo...coo...cooking this steak. I need help!"

2 min. later.

Jimmy, his parents, the camera man, and the documentary film maker were in front of a burnt house.

"You call that nothing, huh?" Bill Honley said.

* * *

Token Black IV Age 8

"Little Token Black the fourth. A rich fella, but doesn't even know that he is one." Bill Honley said as he entered his mansion.

In the mansion, he saw arts, statues, and all kinds of art.

"My, my. This guy is one rich bastard. Where is the little fella anyway?"

"Right here sir." Token said as he looked at the man.

"There you are. Anyway let's sit down." Bill said.

3 min. later at the couch with Token's parents.

"So little Token. What do you want to be when you grow up? A rocket scientist, a brain surgeon, a principal of a school?" Bill asked.

"What about a detective?" Token asked.

"No, no Token." Token's father said. "You're going to be a lawyer."

"But..."

"I SAID YOUR GOING TO BE A LAWYER! THAT'S FINAL!" Token's father yelled in anger.

Later outside of the mansion.

"After hearing all that. I decided not to waste any film on him."

* * *

Lulip Cotswold Age 8

Bill Honley and the Camera Man were inside the Cotswold house protected by metal bars.

"I see you have your son have home-school instead of the regular schooling they do with children." Bill said  
"Yes." Ms. Cotswold said. "Here's my son."

Lulip Cotswold walked into the living room wearing shorts, glasses, a white T-shirt with pens in the shirt pocket. He looked liked a nerdy British kid, even though he's actually American.

"That's your kid? He kind of looks more British."

"Well he's not. He's full American."

"Anyway, Lulip Cotswold was it? What a weird name."

"What?"

"I'm just saying that Lulip is a weird name."

"That name happen to come from my dead father."

"It sounds like a girl's name." Bill said.

"Anyway..."

"Lulip. Kind of sounds like tulip."

"Yeah but..."

"Luuuuuuuliiiiip."

Ms. Cotswold screamed and attacked Bill Honley with a broom.

"So that's what violence looks like?" Lulip Cotswold said.

Lulip Cotswold Age 18

Bill Honley and the Camera man were at Lulip's house at the couch

"I see your still home schooled in this house." Bill Honley said.

"Yes? So?" Lulip Cotswold said.

"Tell me Lulip... heh..heh...Lulip. It's kind of funny now. Sounds like a flower. Lulip."

"Will you just get it on with."

"Okay Lulip... hah. Anyway, have you made any accomplishments?"

"Yes. I managed to finish all my school math courses, language courses, and I'm off to college. Home schooling is the perfect thing for me."

"I see. Just one thing. You love home schooling and think it's perfect to learn at home than outside, right?"

"Yes?"

"So how are you going to college, if there's no such thing as home college?"

"Fuck." Lulip Cotswold said.

Later outside of Lulip Cotswold house.

"Lulip Cotswold, a man who is smart enough to go against the nerds of the high school, but a man who has to go outside to get a degree in college, has a weird name, and said his first curse word." Bill said as he stared at the camera.

* * *

Joe Martin Age 8

The cameraman and Bill Honley were looking at a bunch of bullies named Joe, Bob, Anthony, and Feraz.

"Hello Joe Martin. I believe you are the son of the South Park Mafia boss and it seems you already have your own gang."

"Yeah so?" Joe said as he spotted Quib beating up Richard Tweak.

"Hey boss. It's that kid who owes us money for getting him into the junior football team." Bob said.

The cameraman and Bill Honley followed the gang as they walked to the other bully, Quib.

"Hey kid!" Joe said.

"What the heck do you want Joe?" Quib said without fear.

"You owe us money."

"Can I pay later?"

"You said that before."

"Okay? What if I don't pay at all? What are you going to do about it?"

"This." Joe said as he grabbed his arm and pushed him towards the ground.

Joe started to twist his arm as Quib screamed in pain.

"What's going on here?" Barbrady said as he came.

"Nothing Hall Mon... Wait a minute. Today is Saturday. What the heck do you want?" Joe asked.

"I don't know."

"Good. Guess I can give you more of a knuckle sandwich for you Quib." Joe said as he twisted his arm even further.

Suddenly a crack was heard in his arm causing Quib to scream even more.

"Will this boy become a true gangster in the mafia business? Let's find out." Bill Honley said as he stared at the camera.

Joe Martin Age 18

Joe Martin was walking in the hallway with his friends, soldiers, gangsters, whatever. He was wearing a leather jacket and a white shirt underneath it. As he walked down the hallway he grabbed a football player by the shirt and pushed him into his own locker because he wasn't able to pay him.

"Joe Martin. Now known as Big Joe because he is known to be bigger than any kid in the high school. Not only that his friends seem to have some nicknames too." Bill Honley said. "Anthony's nickname is Arms because he is known to crack peoples neck easily with his arms, Silent Bob because he's sometimes shy, quiet, and can ignore people easily, and African Feraz because he can be offended easily if you say something negative about African Americans."

Joe Martin Age 38

Bill, the Camera man, and Big Joe were in Big Joe's mansion in the living room of his couch.

"Hello Joe. It's been a while and now you're already the strongest and feared mafia organization in South Park. Plus, I heard that you even have ties to Denver."

"I may have some ties to Denver. Who are you again?" Big Joe asked.

"I'm Bill Honley. The guy who's been filming children, like you, in the past."

"Oh. I thought you were one of the members of the Falyon mafia. There trying to kill me you know."

"Well I'm not. Anyway how's life going for you in the mafia business?"

"Not bad. I've made many deals with people these days, including the mayor, police department, and even the Terrance and Phillip guys. They may not live in South Park, but hey I have some ways to communicate to those fools."

"I see. I hear you have a two sons, and a daughter."

"Can I meet them?"

"Yes, but my daughter and one of my sons are at some party. For now, you can only meet my son. His name is Lucas.

"My name is Loogie! I hate the name Lucas!" Loogie said as he came down the stairs.

"This is your son? Isn't he the one who set up some tooth trading business?" Bill said as Loogie came to the two.

"What the hell do you want?" Loogie said.

"What the hell is wrong with him?" Bill asked as Loogie went to the kitchen.

"He's a bit high tempered when I call him Lucas or anything else." Big Joe said.

"Though, I don't understand why he chose the nickname Loogie. Isn't Loogie a slang term for mucus?"

"I think it is."

Meanwhile outside of Big Joe's mansion.

Bill Honley was walking towards his car as the Cameraman followed.

"Well, time to go..." Bill said until he saw his car exploded into dust, metal, and scrap.

Big Joe ran outside.

"Oh yeah. I almost forgot to take off the car bomb. Good thing you're not a Falyon member or an assassin. Right?" Big Joe said with a fake smile.

"That was a Audi R8! It was an expensive sports car, you bastard!" Bill yelled out in anger.

* * *

Chef Age 8

The camera faced toward Chef as he was walking into the playground until he saw Gerald about to be punched by Joe Martin.

"Hey! What are you doing guys?" Chef said.

"What the heck do you want? This is between me and the greedy Jew here!" Joe said.

"Hey! That's racist ever since the holocaust was found out. Millions of people in America still haven't got over that event."

"True. I guess I should stop making deals with Jewish people and torturing them by making them listening to a mix of Jazz and Death Metal. You know, you're not a bad guy. How about I buy you a drink, including the Jew?"

"That's not a bad idea." Chef said with a smile.

"And the world welcome the friendship between a Jew, African American, and a young Italian American Mobster." Bill Honley said as he stared at the camera.

Chef Age 24

Bill Honley and the Camera Man were at the party in the barn, also known as "The Drunken Barn Dance".

"We are now at the Drunken Barn Dance where Chef has now moved back into South Park for three years. He now may have a restaurant, and yet he could actually be more than a Chef since he graduated college." Bill Honley said in front of the Camera. "Now..."

"Hey Big Boy." Liane Cartman said. "You look like a handsome British boy."

"I'm 34 years old. You look younger than me. Plus, I'm not just British, but American and Canadian too."

"We can still dance can't we?"

"Well... um... I guess a small dance can't hurt."

Bill Honley left the Cameraman alone as he and Liane danced and smooched on the hay.

"What am I'm supposed to now?" The Cameraman said. "Is that the Denver Broncos! I need autograph!"

Chef Age 38

"We are now entering the cafeteria and... who the hell are you! You like that one guy from Star Wars. Where's Chef?"

"Hey!" Stan said. "For your information. That is the guy from Star Wars, R2-D2 and Chef is... well... gone..."

"WHAT! You don't mean he's...

"Yes." Kyle said as he came into the cafeteria.

"My god! I wasn't at his funeral! I'm a bad friend!"

"Dude!" Eric said. "He had a lot of friends! His most worst friend would be Christian Bale. Jesus he curses a lot. Yet, he sure has a lot of friends who are celebrities."

"Thanks... um... who are you?" Bill asked.

"Eric Cartman. We all miss him. Even that cursing asshole, Christian Bale. Yet, he is a good actor though." Eric said as he looked at the ground.

* * *

"And that is my documentary." Bill Honley as he showed his film in a theater as a test screen to the South Park citizens.

"It wasn't bad." Sharon said. "You kind got of there at Richard Tweak Age 18 part."

"At least it showed Chef's childhood." Gerald answered.

"I'll missed that guy." Big Joe cried.

"Is the mafia boss crying? That's a bit unusual." Mr. Garrison said.

"I never knew that Ms. Crabtree was actually intelligent at that time." Kyle said.

"So Bill. What are you going to do now?" Stuart McCormick asked.

"I'm thinking about making a documentary about your children, since this kid's generation has changed a lot." Bill answered. "It's going to start at the age 9, than 16, than 26, and finally 38. If I die, than my nephew can take over."

"You know what I don't get?" Randy asked.

"What is it?"

"You said your American, British, and also Canadian? You don't look Canadian at all." Randy said.

"I look mostly American, my accent is British, and as for the Canadian is my right arm." Bill said as he pulled his sleeve revealing a cartoon like arm.

"Ew... Sorry to ask that." Randy said as he saw his Canadian-like arm.

* * *

29 years later.

Stan's Age 38.

"So Stan. Your married to Wendy Marsh, right now and have two children which I haven't seen yet, because there off to school." Bill's Nephew said. "What's it like these days?"

"I have a normal life of an American and..." Stan said until a ring came. "That must be Kenny."

Stan opened the door and saw a normal Kyle, a normal Eric, and Kenny who is now in fancy clothes with a wallet filled with clothes.

"Hello Kenny. I see your doing well today." Stan said.

"I need your help. Derek has gone mad again." Kyle said.

"Dang it. I thought Dr. Phil's nephew and sending him to World War III would help him calm down and give him enough violence. Come on Kenny. Let's go buy some Mountain Dew."


	11. Book of War

It was a lovely morning at school and it was also elder day at the same time. Elder day is when the kids bring their grandparents.

Stan and his grandpa were in the 4th grade classroom along with other kids and their grandparents. Stan was at his desk at usual while his grandpa was sitting in his wheel chair beside him.

"Okay class." Mr. Garrison said. "I hope you all brought your grandfather or grandmother to school. If you don't then you already get an F."

"That really doesn't sound fair Mr. Garrison." Kyle said.

"Yeah, well, you're going to have to get used to it. Anyway, Stan's grandpa. Um... Marvin Marsh was it?"

"It's about time! I'm been waiting here for three days." Marvin yelled out loud.

"Uh, grandpa. It's only been three minutes." Stan said.

"Whatever Billy."

Marvin came to the front of the classroom by wheel.

"HEY!" Harold Cartman said

"Anyway. I'll tell you some stuff about me when I was young. In World War II, I was in a team called..."

Cartman yelled. "I was going to tell the story about World War II."

"But that's what I was going to tell." Jerry McCormick yelled"Where's my freaking meat loaf! Nurse! Nurse!" Jack Broflovski yelled out loud.

The other elderly men began arguing about their stories of World War II. It was considered really annoying to the whole classroom.

"I never knew that all of these old timers were going to tell stories about World War II." Eric whispered to his friends.

"Me too. I thought it was going to be about the Great Depression or the Cold War." Kenny muffled.

"Will all of you shut up!" Marvin yelled out. "I'm telling the story. Not any of you."

"It's probably just going to be one of those lame war stories. Just like that Mr. Hyuk guy said." Eric said.

"Shut up fat piece of lard. You probably can't even lift your arm to reach that pencil with all that big fat piece of shit in your body!" Marvin said.

Everyone began to laugh at Cartman after they heard Marvin saying those names to Cartman.

"Will you shut up too. I'm trying to tell the story here!" Marvin said. "Anyway. In World War II, I was a part of a team called 'The One-shot Hawks'. It was made up of me, Jerry, Jack, Harold, Lars, Ivan, Han, and of course there's always a trouble maker in teams ready for combat. Samuel Yots. He's that one rich guy in Denver today."

* * *

Old folks at War (World War II)

Pearl Harbor 1941

Marvin Marsh and Samuel Yots were at Pearl Harbor testing a new machine gun at that time. They weren't much as friends, mostly because Samuel is considered bad at military work. After a while on December 7th 1941, Japanese planes appeared out of nowhere.

"Strange." Marvin said as he watched the planes from an military airport. "Training doesn't start this early. Must be a mistake or something."

The Japanese planes dropped bombs and fired bullets at American Soldiers as Marvin watched.

"Is this part of the training?" Samuel asked.

"Samuel you dumbass. Those stupid Nazi's trying to take over the whole world. When will they learn?"

"Actually, they kind of look like the Japanese." Harold Cartman said.

"Shut up fatass."

"I'm not fat. I'm just big bone."

"That's what everyone would say if they were fat. Now come on. We got some Japs to take down."

Samuel Yots was at a machine gun and aimed towards one of the planes. He pressed the trigger releasing huge numbers of bullets towards the plane. The plane started to lose control and crashed towards land.

"I got one!" Samuel said.

"Sam, you dumbass!" Jerry McCormick said. "You shot an American Plane!"

"Oh you got to be kidding me!" Sam yelled as he pressed the trigger again. He managed to shot something down. "I think I finally got something."

"That's the national bird of Hawaii!" Harold Cartman yelled angrily.

Sam began to pressed the trigger again.

"That's the rescue plane!" Jack Broflovski yelled angrily.

* * *

Later after the U.S. declared war. Somewhere in Europe.

Marvin was walking ahead along with his team in the snowy fields of World War II. Their mission was to assassinate Hitler, so they can end Germany's reign. They were all hiding behind boulders as they saw a group of Germans and a huge building with the Nazi symbol on the front. Marvin pulled out his sniper from the snow and aimed it towards one of them. It was Hitler. He was about to pressed the trigger until suddenly there was a football that hit him in the face.

"Who the hell did that?" A young Marvin yelled.

"There's my football." Samuel said.

The Germans began to yell as Marvin and Samuel saw Hitler and a couple of troops escaping.

"You bastard. That dictator escaped!" Marvin yelled as he gripped his shirt.

"That's kind of funny. Dick-tator." Samuel laughed.

The Germans were aiming and firing at the Americans with their guns.

"Now it's going to be much harder because of you." Marvin yelled. "Where's the grenades?"

Suddenly another thing hit Marvin right into the face. It was a grenade.

"There's my tennis ball." Samuel said.

"This is a grenade you son of a bitch!" Jack said out loud as he shot a German in the chest.

Marvin quickly threw the grenade and then it exploded.

* * *

5 hours later.

The Germans were captured as the team secured the building.

"Well, we did that pretty fine." Samuel said with a smile.

"Hitler just got away. How the heck is that fine?" Marvin yelled.

"I don't know. So, who's up for bowling?"

"Your unbelievable."

* * *

Later in the south of Germany.

The teams next target was a General. The team sneaked into a Nazi building. It was hard to get in, but they manage to do it. They entered a hallway and saw the General in a room talking to people in suits. They were waiting for the right moment. They kept on waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and...

"Grandpa. Grandpa!" Stan yelled at Marvin Marsh who was sleeping and kept on saying waiting.

"What the heck do you want Billy?" Marvin yelled as he woke up.

"What happened next in the second World War?" Kyle asked.

"Second World War? Who the hell wants to learn about that war? I'll tell you the story of when I met a local barber that got drunk on the streets. You see at that time they were..."

"Grandpa!" Stan yelled angrily.

"Wait a minute. That was from a comedy sitcom TV show. Let's talk about World War II."

* * *

As the people in suit left, the general was alone. Marvin aimed his gun towards the Nazi General until Samuel Yots pushed him in his way.

"I want to take the shot. I haven't shot anyone for days." Sam whispered.

"Fine, if it will shut you up." Marvin yelled. "And be careful. Han, Lars, and Ivan are on the other side of that very room. There on that other entrance on the left. Will ambush him if he tries to escape from the bullet. So whatever you do..."

BANG,BANG,BANG from the gun as three bullets were released and shot directly to Han, Lars, and Ivan dead on the ground.

"You asshole! I told you not shoot Han, Lars, or Ivan!" Marvin yelled as he quickly shot the general with a pistol he pulled out from his pocket.

"You know. Why couldn't we just ambush him altogether first instead of just using a gun as our first option."

"Well because... Oh Dammit!"

* * *

World II 1945 at a military airport

Marvin's unit were standing in front of Major Garrison near a air plane.

"Okay troops!" Major Garrison said. "As you all know. We have no choice but to bomb Hiroshima with the bomb we have tested. Also Marvin, your team will have some new troops with you."

"Who are the new troops?" Harold Cartman asked.

"Meet Flips Dolphin and Nil Whale." Major Garrison said as he showed them the two troops.

The two troops were actually a real whale and a dolphin.

"Your joking... right?" Marvin laughed.

"Nope."

"Fine, but why is it named the Enola Gay? I just don't get that?"

"Um... it's uh... named after someone called Enola Gay. Yes, that should do the trick. Named after someone." Major Garrison said.

"I see..." Jack Broflovski said.

* * *

Later at the skies of Hiroshima.

The Enola Gay was above the city with the whale and the dolphin as the pilots. Japanese people could not see the Americans, but just the whale and the dolphin. As the huge plane flew, it dropped the "Little Boy" bomb.

"That should teach Japan a lesson. Now to... Huh. What the hell is Sam doing?" Marvin said as he saw Samuel riding the little boy bomb and holding a cow boy hat in his hand.

"Yea Hah!" Sam said in a Texan accent.

The Enola Gay went towards the bomb and Jack catch him by his hand. The unit pulled up the trouble maker back into the plane.

After a few minutes the plane flew away to America and a huge mushroom cloud appeared out of nowhere in Hiroshima.

* * *

"And that's how my life story ended." Marvin said. "Any questions?"

"Uh huh." Eric said.

"I have a question." Wendy said.

"Yes. One of the girls that Stan has a crush on." Marvin said.

"Wait? One of?" Wendy said angrily as he looked toward Stan.

* * *

"Uh. I have an explanation for that." Stan said.

Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Eric were walking on the streets as they now had to do a report on World War II again because of all of their grandfathers. As they walked near the cemetery, they saw Derek putting flowers on a tomb stone.

* * *

Mad Soldier (War against Terrorism in Afghanistan)

Three kids, believe it or not, were sent in a secret mission to assassinate an Al-Qaeda member. These kids were chosen as they were tough, smart, and able to sneak in small spaces during secret missions. It was very rare for these kind of missions. The blond kid was named Larry who is in charge of assassination and weaponry. The black haired kid is Nick who is in charge of the whole team. He is the leader of course. The other member was Derek who was considered as the weakest of the unit but the most smartest and kindest of the unit. He was in the team because of his strategy of the battlefield. Not only that he could...

"Brother. I need some milk." A little girl said.

The three boys and the girl were all on a cliff spying on a little and suspicious town where Al-Qaeda troops were guarding a small building.

"Uh Derek?" Larry asked. "Why did you brought your little sister over?"

"My dad said so, because he was in charge of some project after some needle was poked through me. I wonder what is was for?" Derek asked.

"Whatever. Your sister will have to stay here." Nick said. "Anyway, let's go."

* * *

In the town

Larry was on a building aiming towards different guards. He pressed the trigger and killing many guards silently. Meanwhile Nick sneaked up on different guards where Larry couldn't aim at. As Nick sneaked up to a guard chatting with another guard. He quickly knifed them in the neck. Now it was Derek's turn.

Derek entered the building where the Al-Qaeda person was in. He burst in the door and pulled out his gun as he saw the Al-Qaeda man making a strategy on a map. He pressed the trigger releasing the bullet from the gun. Derek missed as he wasn't good at aiming at this time. Instead the bullets just backfired as it hit the metallic walls. Derek dodged as the bullets went towards the entrance and shot Nick right in the head as he was about to enter.

"Oh shit..." Derek said as he ran outside.

Derek pulled out an grenade and threw it at the guards who were chasing him. He was also not a good thrower back then. The grenade instead hit Larry in the head as he stepped out of the building that he was once on top of. Larry looked at the grenade that was now on the ground.

"DEREK! YOU BASTARD!" Larry yelled at Derek. The grenade exploded causing Larry to die at the same time.

* * *

Seven minutes later

Derek was hiding behind a building until he heard the Al-Qaeda person.

"Come out little freaking cat. Come or we will shoot this American girl we found at the cliff." Shirak (Al Qaeda member) said. "You don't want a seven-year old to die? Do you?"

Derek just kept on hiding behind the building trying to think what to do. Then he heard a trigger. His little sister stopped moving and felled to the ground dead. Suddenly Derek's eyes started to change from blue to grey and froze. After a while he changed to his evil self for the first time.

"Where is that little shrimp?" Shirak said.

The terrorist turned around and saw an angered evil Derek stepping out of the shadows.

"Give up. Shrimp."

"Heh heh." Evil Derek laughed a little.

"Fine. Have it your way. Shoot the little troublemaker!" Shirak ordered to his guards.

The guards were about to raise their guns until Derek charged at one of them. He pulled out his knife and quickly knifed him through neck causing death to him. The guards tried to shoot him, but he was too fast. Derek then threw the knife towards the guard's forehead and picked up his gun. Instead of shooting it, he whacked the head of a guard so strong that it decapitated the guard. After a while, he killed all the guards.

"Not bad." Shirak said. "But can you defeat me?"

Shirak pulled out his own knife.

Evil Derek picked up dirt from the ground and threw at Shirak in the eyes. Shirak took off the dirt from his eyes angrily, but as he did, he saw Evil Derek charging at Shirak with a large rock. Derek threw the rock at Shirak, but he dodged and grabbed Derek by his hand. The evil man than threw him to the ground and stabbed Derek through the back with his knife. He then tried to break off Derek's arms with his own muscular arms. Evil Derek was in pain but also angrier than before.

The psychotic boy grabbed Shirak's arm as he tried to break the boy's arms. He then threw Shirak through the ground and ran off with one broken arm.

"Heh! Running huh! That's what a coward is!" Shirak yelled.

More reinforcements came as Shirak tried to look for Derek.

"Sir! We came as fast as we can!" One of the guards said.

"Good. Find an American boy. He has a broken arm and..." Shirak said until he heard large cracks from a large building.

The guards and Shirak looked at the cracks as they were surrounding a building. They were connected until the building was being lifted from the ground. They later saw a boy trying to pick up the whole building with a broken arm.

"Oh Jesus no!" Shirak said.

"We Muslims don't believe in Jesus you know." A guard said to Shirak.

"Not that! That!" Shirak pointed at Derek who was lifting the building. "My god."

Derek began using the building as a baseball bat and hitting it towards the group of guards. Many died of the hit including Shirak. Derek then dropped the building and picked up his throwing knife with his working arm. He spotted a alive guard and threw it towards his forehead. The boy then walked towards his sister as an evil psycho still. He was just staring at the little dead girl in silence.

* * *

Later at Osama Bin Laden's so called secret base.

Derek burst in the base with a throwing knife and an evil grin.

"Heh heh..."

A min. later all the soldiers were dead on the ground, yet Osama Bin Laden managed to escaped with an broken arm. This caused Derek to go mad as he left the base.

* * *

Kyle, Stan, Kenny, and Eric continued walked on the streets until they saw a field of soldiers celebrating. Two of them are Jimbo and Ned. The boys walked towards the party and to Jimbo.

"Hey Jimbo! What's this?" Stan asked.

"Hi. This is a reunion of the Vietnam War." Jimbo said.

"Yeah, yeah. Vietnam War." Kyle said.

"Who are these little fellas?" A man said as he stepped out of the crowd.

"These are just some boys I know."

"Who's this old timer?" Eric said.

"This old timer happens to my captain back in Vietnam you little asshole. His name is Harry Woods" Jimbo said.

"So you also lied that you were a leader too?" Stan said.

"Well... Who wants pizza?"

"That's fine with me." Eric said.

"Your just saying that because you're a fatass Cartman."

"Wait, wait." Harry Woods said. "You're telling me that you didn't tell the true story of what happened at Vietnam."

"Pretty much." Kenny muffled.

"Looks like I have to tell the true story of what happened." Woods said.

"Oh no." Jimbo said.

* * *

The Story of Battle star Galactia...oops... I meant Vietnam (Vietnam War)

Harry Woods was in front of an army of American Soldiers in Vietnam. He was making a speech.

"Hello Men. I know that Jews, Blacks, Mexicans, and other people might feel discrimination, but to me... your all equal men." Woods said with a brave and encouraging voice. "Anyway, tonight is pizza night so blacks will be separated from the whites and the Jews will be sitting at the cold corners of the base. Also the Mexicans will have to sit in the dangerous and most violent part of the forest where rumors has it that the ghost of the French army who died in Vietnam existed there. The white Christians will sit at the middle of the base where they will sing along together happily as they watch a nice show."

"Hey!" A African American said. "Have you ever heard of the Emancipation Proclamation?"

"Yes I have. As I said, I am a man who thinks that everyone is equal. Now, go sit over there with the other blacks." Woods answered.

* * *

Later at the hills of Vietnam.

Helicopters were flying at daylight with many soldiers on board. They were about 358 of us holding guns attached with grenade launchers. As the helicopters landed, we already saw Northern Vietnamese on the battle field. Woods stepped out of the helicopter along with some familiar people from South Park. The familiar people from South Park were Jimbo, Ned, Mitch Connors, Chef, and Farold Hyuk (The guy from War and Horror). There was also that one other guy named Buck who was a friend of Jimbo.

"Okay troops. Prepare for fire!" Woods said.

The soldiers including the guys from South Park raised their guns and shot the Northern Vietnamese that were heading towards the Americans.

"We sure are shooting down a lot of Communist." Mitch Connor said.

"Yeah Mitch! This battle might be short." Jimbo said.

"I don't know about that." Chef said as he pointed at the Northern Vietnamese.

Many kept on coming and many kept on dying.

* * *

9 hours later.

"WHY CAN"T THESE COMMUNIST JUST GIVE UP!" Jimbo yelled.

"Why not just call in air support?" Mr. Hyuk asked.

"AIR SUPPORT! We would've just call them, instead of wasting our bullets on these guys?" Jimbo said.

"Hey Buck!" Chef yelled. "Call in the helicopters!"

"Okay!" Buck said. He was the Radio Operator.

Buck called in for air support. As he called in the coordinates for helicopters and airplanes. The air vehicles cause the battle field to become more violent, but manage to almost kill every Northern Vietnamese in the battlefield.

The soldiers hoorayed as most of the Northern Vietnamese were killed until one of the planes released a bomb near the Americans.

"Oh shoot! Buck, get out of there!" Chef yelled.

Buck looked up as a bomb exploded where he was. He was on fire as the planes and helicopters saw what happened. They decided to stop.

"Oh dang it!" Ned said. "He suicide himself!"

"Ned! That isn't no suicide. It was an accident." Chef said.

"What's the difference?"

"Never mind that!" Woods yelled. "There are still some Northern Vietnamese out there."

* * *

10 hours later at night at the jungles of Vietnam

The Americans were on the ground hiding as they were eating pizza on Pizza night.

"This pizza is good." Jimbo whispered. "Isn't that right Mitch?"

"Shh!" Mitch Connors whispered. "Be careful not to make a noise."

"Don't worry I won't... BANG!" A gunshot was heard.

"Jimbo. Shh!" Woods whispered angrily as he chewed on his pizza. "Anyway we have to... BANG!"

Another gunshot was heard.

"We spotted the Americans" A Northern Vietnamese yelled.

"You got to be kidding me!" Chef yelled.

* * *

5 hours later at the jungles of Vietnam.

The battle raged on as the Americans and Northern Vietnamese fight. After a while, the Americans won, but many were injured and received burns.

"Look at this..." Woods said as he saw a dead Northern Vietnamese hand.

The hand had a wedding ring.

"Guess that the Northern Vietnamese don't like to fight either." Chef said as he stared at the ring.

"Yeah." Mitch Connor said as he stared at the ring.

"Anyway we should all head back to..." Mr. Hyuk said until he saw the hand again.

"This is nice wedding ring. I think it's real gold." Jimbo said.

"Jimbo!" Mr. Hyuk yelled. "Put the wedding ring back!"  
"But why? These are communist who shot back at us!" Jimbo yelled.

"He has a point there." Mitch Connor said.

"He has no point!" Woods answered. "That ring happens to be a symbol of marriage. Now put it back!"

"Fine..." Jimbo said as he put the ring back to its owner.

* * *

5 hours later at another battle.

The battle between Americans and Northern Vietnamese occurred at a Northern Vietnamese base. This was a battle where the Americans would take over the base.

"Jimbo! Give me a grenade! Now!" Chef said.

"Here you go!" Jimbo yelled as he threw a grenade to him.

"Thanks!... Wait a minute! Jimbo, did you pulled the safety handle?"

"Maybe..." Jimbo said as Chef threw the grenade quickly to the Northern Vietnamese.

Three were burned and one had his leg blown up because of the grenade.

* * *

One hour later.

Lots of dead Northern Vietnamese were put altogether to a pile. Ones who were alive were interrogated for information and after that, becoming a prisoner of war.

"Look what I found..." Chef said as he was holding a blue book.

"It's just a book." Jimbo said.

"It's a book written by a Northern Vietnamese."

"So, it's just a book."

"It shows a picture of her wife."

"It's just a book."

"Whatever. I'm out of here when the next helicopter comes."

The next helicopter did come for all surviving and injured American troops. As the South Park troops got on the helicopter and looked at the dead bodies. They felt sad... except for Jimbo and Ned. As the Americans left, more Northern Vietnamese came.

"Humph..." The Vietnamese General said. "They manage to win the battle. Yet there is still a chance to win the war. Even if the Americans have won almost every battle they have been through..."

"Sir. You want some pizza?" A Northern Vietnamese troop said.

"Yes. It is pizza night for the Northern Vietnamese of course."

* * *

"And so the Northern Vietnamese army had their pizza, just like the Americans did, except there's were anchovies and they seem to like it a lot. That's the true story of what happened kids." Harry Woods said.

"Uh huh." Kyle said.

* * *

(Not a part of the Story)

Many people were killed in these wars for their country and other reasons. Some were left homeless and others were deformed from battle. In reality, war is not a joke.


End file.
